Fuck Driving

My wife and I don't drive much-- we both work close to where we live; we bought a house in a walking town; and we hate being in the car . . . but the past few days have given us a taste of what many Americans do on a daily basis-- my wife drove out to Muhlenberg and back on Thursday evening, so Ian could see his friends and go to some Halloween parties with his girlfriend (apparently kids now wear a different costume for each party . . . I'll try to post some pics, but Alex and his girlfriend were Elvis and Priscilla and then characters from Ratatouille and Ian and Layla were a deer and a hunter, two superheroes, and then Shaggy and Scooby . . . absurd) and then on Friday, Cat and I drove out past Trenton to go to an Italian place for my brother's birthday-- it took an hour to get there-- and then we drove Ian back to school on Saturday (with Layla) and we all did some parent's weekend stuff-- saw some football-- going to a Muhlenberg football game is very low key-- and we watched some Sex Education style a capella singing and then we went to a really good restaurant (Union and Fitch) with Layla and Ian for dinner and then they went out and Cat and I crashed at the Holiday Inn, then I took Ian for an x-ray on his weird ankle injury-- no information, he needs an MRI-- and then we drove the hour-plus home . . . way too much fucking driving, I hate being in the car, it stresses me out, makes me sick--I have to drive and chew gum-- and when I get out my knees and hips hurt . . . but I don't even have to do my twelve-minute commute this week because I'm on virtual school because of the water main break in my high school, so I won't have to drive anywhere this week, which will be wonderful.

4 comments:

zman said...

I went on two long drives for fun yesterday, one alone for about an hour and one wi tree zson so he could catch some Pokémon. You’re just driving wrong. You need to find better roads.

Professor G. Truck said...

you are a menace to the planet. YOU are the traffic! when I'm like: what are all these people doing driving around? where are they going? why are they out here? it's you!

Whitney said...

Everything that exists does so through the lens that someone sees it. Zman drives to spend quality time with his son, and Dave sees it as an affront. Tomato, tomato. Meanwhile, you’re both ridiculous in a different circumstance. Think about it.

Professor G. Truck said...

that's relativistic bullshit. you can spend quality time with your son without burning fossil fuels, endangering bicyclists and pedestrians, leaving rubber fragments that will leech into the groundwater, and causing traffic!

what if I said I like to spend quality time with my son hunting "the most dangerous game" and roasting it in a cauldron. you'd be appalled . . .

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