The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Yacht Rock vs Zodiac Mindwarp
Dave Learns About an Old French Guy
I'm reading Fareed Zakaria's book Age of Revolutions: Progress and Backlash from 1600 to the Present and I definitely think I fell asleep in AP Euro when we went over the French Revolution-- this Robespierre fellow was a wild and crazy guy!
Dave Deliberates . . . Perfectly
Dave Goes to Court
A Compelling Combination
The First Rule of Costco!
A Question for the Philosopher/Meteorologists of the (Rapidly Warming) World
Does enduring ungodly humidity build character?
Step One, Do It Yourself
Muse Your Allusion
Every two weeks or so I shave my head with my Balder Pro Rotary Shaver, and the next day I always get a few comments about my smooth and shiny scalp-- and the comments usually come in the form of a reference to a celebrity which definitely dates the person making the allusion:
my parents-- Mr. Clean, Kojak;
my wife-- Lex Luther;
the students-- Walter White.
The Buzz is Coming from Within the Shirt!
At dusk yesterday, while I was watering my wife's riotous flower garden, I heard the buzzing of a bee near my ear-- so I ducked and swatted a bit, but the buzzing continued-- so I swatted near my ear a few more times while sidestepping the bee-- but the buzzing in my ear continued and I ended up swatting my lip-- because I was swatting at my right shoulder with my left hand-- you can't swat your right shoulder very effectively with your right hand-- and I'm sure from an outside perspective I looked like the Claude the Tasmanian Devil-- but then, in my peripheral vision, I saw a black blob on my shirt and I realized that the bee was stuck in the collar of my shirt, so I swatted some more-- kind of hurting my neck in the process-- but I got the bee off me and I don't even think it stung me . . . but after all the acrobats and swatting myself, it was hard to tell.
Shakespeare Quiz!
Dave Does the TimeWarp (Again)
Not What But When . . .
Last night we played the music/chronology game HITSTER with a bunch of folks and I learned that my wife has a special talent-- though she rarely knows the names of bands, songs, or albums, if she hears a song, she can precisely identify WHEN the song was released-- even pop stuff from the early aughts-- in the game you need to listen to songs and identify if they were released before or after the other songs in your timeline and you win once you get ten songs in your line (and you can challenge if you think someone has it wrong) and, because of my wife's heretofore unknown talent, we crushed everyone.
Note to Future (Possibly Reincarnated) Self
If you get a dog, make sure the color of the dog's coat matches the color of your kitchen floor-- otherwise, the floor always appears littered with dog hair.
The Older You Get, The More You Pack (Until You Get REALLY Old)
The older you get, the longer it takes to pack for the beach . . . but it's because you're smarter and realize that you need more stuff-- sunblock, sunglasses, seltzer, change of clothes, sunhat, Kindle, variety of snacks, a chair, umbrella, etcetera-- stuff you eschewed and forgot when you were young and could handle the full effects of the sun and you were limber enough to be able to lay comfortably on a towel on the bumpy hot sand (and today we preceded the beach day with some pickleball at Wardell Park-- which made for even MORE packing-- wrist bands, paddle, baseball cap, extra pickleballs, even more snacks, water . . . it's a miracle I left the house) still I suppose once you get REALLY old and you're just going to shuffle along the boardwalk, then you won't need to pack anything.
(Dave is) Brave
I still feel kind of crappy today from yesterday's first dose of the shingles vaccine-- my wife says that I sometimes whine and complain when I feel a little sick . . . which might be true-- but I still managed to bravely accomplish several chores: I vacuumed the house; shook out the vacuum filter; sprayed the garden and backyard with the chemical that kills mosquitoes; and met with Joey the Handyman about replacing some windows-- and, ironically, the most exhausting of those tasks was meeting with Joey the Handyman,-- who is going to DO a task for me-- and while he's a stand-up guy he's also a whirlwind: in the span of twenty minutes he told me twenty stories, laid out his political perspectives, reviewed every place he had ever lived in his life (quite a few places!) and formed an indelible bond with my dog (and then he came back . . . he forgot his phone).
Shingles Shot, Part One
Kids and Consciousness
Inside Out 2 isn't as emotional as its predecessor-- Bing Bong's sacrifice and the end of Riley's innocence is as abstractly meta-tragic as you can get-- but in some ways I like the sequel better: its a sports movie!-- and there's a great deal about what happens in your brain when you are involved in sports; jockeying for position on a team; gametime decisions and action; the ethics of sporting life; and realizing you might need to leave some good friends (who are lesser players) behind . . . it's a fast-paced, funny film and the new emotions (Anxiety, Ennui, Embarrassment, and Envy) perfectly reflect Riley's new teenage hormonally driven consciousness . . . for a darker take on teamwork, kids, and consciousness, check out the graphic novel Sentient-- created by Eisner Award-winners Jeff Lemire and Gabriel Walta-- but strap yourself in-- this tale of a generation starship's AI attempt to "mother' a group of orphaned children is violent, gut-wretching, and riveting (in the grimmest way).
Shakespeare: Timeless-- But a Man of His Times
Who Is One DJ Who Has Been in Zman's New Kitchen?
Kool DJ Red Alert and my wife |
Cool DJ Green Alert |
When TV is Infinite, Every Show is Insignificant
Incentive to Bike
I'm On Summer Break! My Wife is NOT on Summer Break (Yet)
First day of summer vacation for me: I worked on my Shakespeare podcast; biked to the gym and lifted; biked to New Brunswick for some shopping at my favorite (and totally legal) store; watched a few episodes of Bojack Horseman in a semi-catatonic nap state; went to the pool and swam a few laps; and I'm planning on playing osm pickleball once it cools down . . . meanwhile, my wife came home in an irate mood-- she's not done until Friday and they had some sort of outdoor fun-day in the scorching heat-- all these New Jersey districts need to coordinate so that teachers all get done on the same day, so we can avoid all this inter-familial summer vacation jealousy.
Which One Are You? No Judgements . . .
(Pretty) Good Day
I had a pretty good day at 6:30 AM hoops this morning, I made a few clutch three-pointers and played some solid D . . . BUT I jammed my pinky going for a rebound and it's all misshapen and swollen; then I got a pretty good movie recommendation form my buddy Jack-- Shin Godzilla . . . BUT it's not streaming anywhere so I'll have to try and pirate it; and in the afternoon, I had a pretty good time at the pool-- I was really hot from watering the garden and very sore from morning hoops, so I swam a few laps to cool down and I stretched out in the shallow end and the water was clear and refreshing BUT after my swim, when I reclined on the lounger to read my book, I noticed that the lounger was covered in ants . . . and soon enough I was covered in ants and so I decided to head home and read my book in the safety of my home.
Chess and Sugar
Wood!
Dave Does Some Suburban Civil Engineering
Wild Saturday: after pickleball and the gym, respectively, my wife and I went to TWO mall-like areas-- this is highly unusual behavior-- but we had a Seasons 52 gift card (the best chain restaurant I've ever been to . . . besides White Castle) and Seasons 52 is right next to Barnes and Nobles-- which resides next to the Menlo Park Mall, in a semi-attached manner-- and we wanted to get my father a couple of books for Fathers Day-- and it was hot and sunny so we parked in the shade, underneath what I believe is more parking-- and it's kind of nuts that EVERYONE in the lot didn't park in the shady area-- but there were plenty of spaces-- weird-- and then we actually walked through the mall-- the first time I've done that in a long, long time-- and made our way to Barnes and Nobles, bought a couple of books (no more Educator Discount, boo!) and then we ate lunch and then when we got back to the car, it was nice and cool, despite the sun-- because we had the foresight to park in the shade-- then we went to Wegman's, which resides near Woodbridge Center Mall, and we got some fresh fish for dinner and some good beer and cider-- but when we got back to the car, it was HOT . . . because there was zero shaded parking-- and this makes me wonder: why don't we build all our large stores on top of the parking lots, which would save space, allowed for more green areas, avoid over-heated cars, avoid such long walks across hot parking lots, and it would look a lot nicer-- there should be some incentive to build over the parking lot and then have a belt of green space around the lot-- which would also avoid the incredible heat sink that is a large stretch of asphalt-- anyway, I'm sure there's prohibitive costs associated with this plan-- but maybe in the future we'll incentive the right things so that the cost is neglible (and Rutgers has some parking lots that are shaded by solar panels-- this is another solution) but the next time I go to the Menlo Park Mall when it's hot (which might not be for a decade) I know where to park.
She Blinded Me With Blindness
Lunch Surprise!
The Groundlings Were Grungy in the 1590s
Upon Even Further Reflection (and some looking around)
Upon Further Reflection . . .
Bamboozled
1) it was aesthetically pleasing
2) it obscured the view of our neighbor's house
3 and the bamboo remained bright green in the middle of winter . . .
but apparently, you are NOT supposed to let clumping bamboo grow in this fashion, as the rootball can get so dense that the bamboo can strangle itself-- you're supposed to cull the "weeping" culms and clear out the dead branches between the healthy upright culms-- so I've got some serious work to do, I trimmed some of the bushy stuff this morning, but I'm going to have to get down on my hands and knees and really weed out a lot of dead shoots and clean out the leaves (and soccer balls and dog toys-- I found a few of those in there) to allow air circulation and healthier sprouts . . . here's where I am now in this project, but I probably won't really get in there and trim everything until fall, when it gets colder and I won't get eaten alive by mosquitoes.
Godzilla Plus One Million!
Godzilla Minu One is finally streaming in the United States-- on Netflix-- and it was worth the wait; Cat and I watched it last night with Ian and his girlfriend-- who professed to hating Godzilla movies because "there's never any plot" but I convinced her to try this one . . . I had watched half of it Thursday night and knew that the movie has a compelling story: a failed kamikaze pilot tries to cobble together a shattered life in the ruins of firebombed Tokyo, but his shame, regret, and trauma from the war-- and a chance encounter with young Godzilla-- have damaged him enough that he can't love the woman and child that need him . . . but he's going to get one more chance at redemption, and so is his country-- which has been leveled to zero by the war, disarmed, and being slowly rebuilt with the help of the U.S. (and famously, General MacArthur) but in this alternate history, Godzilla-- who is more like Jaws or Moby Dick, a senseless force of nature, bent on haphazard destruction, more like an earthquake or tornado than some Marvel monster with recognizable motives-- knocks Japan from zero to "minus one"-- and the rest of the world doesn't really want to get involved with a giant radioactive creature-- the United States is more concerned about the Soviet Union and the Cold War-- so it's up to a ragtag bunch of minesweepers; a plan bordering on pure genius; and Koichi-- the shamed kamikaze pilot-- to rescue not only Japan but Japanese honor and reputation . . . and there's certainly a nod to Dunkirk at the end . . . Ian's girlfriend admitted to getting so involved that she was crying at the end . . . and so was I (and you'd cry to, if you watched this movie).
Half Day of School (That Was Half Good)
Seriously?
Senior class, first period, and there are two more days of actual school (then exams) and everyone knows my cell phone policy (they are a menace; a scourge upon humanity; the devil's technology; designed to foster addiction, polarization, shallow thinking, distraction, and stupidity . . . especially in teenagers, especially during school time) yet a girl has an odd stack of three textbooks on her desk and she's doing something behind the textbooks and her eyes are glancing back and forth rapidly, so I chastised her and made her put her phone in the phone caddy-- shameful for a senior . . . and this was so absurd (and also so typical) that I acted it out in the next period, but I put a student in front of the room and I built the tower of books and played with my phone, so someone could experience the insanity that is giving kids cell-phones and then sending them off to class.
Social Media is Anti-Social
That's a Wrap!
I Thought of This Myself! I Didn't Even Use Pinterest!
Moving On In
I Washed (Some Very Particular) Dishes!
Yesterday, when I got home, my wife was having a rather heated discussion with our son about the difference between the communal act of doing the dishes and the selective and annoying act of doing only your dishes-- and the happiness from Happy Hour evaporated.
Tools are Cool
Yesterday, Alex and I went to New Brunswick to buy a table from a college girl for twenty bucks-- Alex is moving into an apartment with his girlfriend next weekend-- and the table was perfect but we were unable to get it out of the little room it resided in . . . and even if we could, there was a warren of hallways and a narrow staircase to navigate, so we needed to take the legs off the table, but this college girl had zero tools-- no pliers, no wrench, no hammer, nothing-- so we had to head home and get some tools and I advised the college girl to get a toolbox and start populating it . . . I was like: "Start with a hammer and a screwdriver" but the real lesson here is you should never leave home without a plethora of tools.
The Fat Lady Has Sung
I'm Tired and I Didn't Even Play . . .
Longest day and longest tennis match ever . . . we left at 2:45 and got home at 7:45 . . . Roselle Park only has four courts-- but we won and advanced to the Group 1 semi-finals, which will occur tomorrow (we play Edison Academy and, barring some kind of miracle, we are going to get whipped).
A Plus in Unattendance
Whitney, Elaine, Zoom, Schwartz, Profigliano, etcetera
Catherine and I made the long haul home today from Virginia Beach-- we were down there for my buddy Whitney's third wedding (or the third wedding Cat and I have attended . . . maybe he's also had a few secret weddings) but, as they say, third time is a charm and his new wife Elaine is totally charming-- it's the Goldilocks magic of threes-- too hot, too cold, just right . . . so this one is going to last-- anyway, too tired to write a coherent sentence but some quick recollections: the wedding band was amazing . . . they are called Full Moon Fever and they are a Tom Petty Tribute Band-- I could never stray too far from the dance floor because they managed to play several hours of Tom Petty, each song better than the last . . . and we went from the wedding venue-- Whitney's dad's place on a gold course (or more like IN a golf course) to Aloha Snacks in downtown Virginia Beach-- the shuttle ride was chaotic and claustrophobic but the shuttle did have two stripper poles inside-- people were definitely three sheets to the wind at the afterparty but we did rustle up a game of "Zoom" -- Cat took some video because she had never seen it live . . . it's the reason girls didn't really talk to us in college-- then we took a LONG and SLOW walk back with Zman to our Airbnb on 19th Street-- Catherine's feet were killing her because she had been in heels for seven hours-- the next day, yesterday, was lovely-- we went to the beach twice, in the morning after walking through the ViBe Creative district-- which is full of colorful painted murals and eating some delicious breakfast treats from Prosperity Kitchen and Pantry-- highly recommended . . . especially the pizza and the Vegan chocolate chip cookie, which was suggested to us by the yoga girl in the peach Lululemon outfit-- and then we met Stu and a few others at Atlantic on Pacific for the best happy hour I've ever been to-- it's every day from 3 PM to 6 PM and the deals are fantastic-- then we met the gang on the beach at 58th Street, had a few beers, and walked to the lawn at the Cavalier Hotel before saying good-bye and taking the long walk back to 17th Street, where we got some excellent ice cream at Lolly's Creamery and then went to bed so we could arise early today and beat the traffic . . . and excellent weekend, amazing wedding, congrats to Whitney and Elaine, and it was awesome to catch up with all the folks at the party.
I Also Got Kneed in the Quad
The Tennis Team is Hot
I Should Get My Van License
Beer Gives Me Strength to Carry On
Dave Returns to Normalcy
Yesterday was absurd, but back to normal today: I got up early and finished a new episode of my podcast-- "Stayin' Alive: Could You Survive the Apocalypse? Would You Want To?" and then I walked the dog and collected some very green and moist moss from under the bleachers in the park, to continue propagating my backyard moss garden, next I rode my bike to the pickleball courts, played for a few hours, came home and grilled burgers for the family, and went upstairs for a two-hour nap, and now I've finished my stupid lesson plans for all my classes tomorrow (I teach an extra prep on A days right now) and in a moment I'm going to plant some creeping thyme and then settle in for the Knicks/Pacers game seven (and the Timberwolves/Nuggets Game Seven) . . . today is far better than SuperBowl Sunday.
The American Dream?
Do I Get to Choose This?
A Message for the Children
Teacher Appreciation Week Belated Bonus
I Haven't Felt This Way Since the O.J. Interruption
You Can Buy Weed in California (But Not If You're Too High)
Tiny Houses and Prehistoric Fish
My wife and I attended my cousin Lindsey's wedding in Asbury Park on Friday night-- it was an incredible event in the upper room of Tim McCloone's supper club-- and then we stayed over Friday and Saturday night at a guest house in the quaint and historically restored town of Ocean Grove-- and though the weather was a little wild, we had a great time wandering around the generally gentrified Asbury Park and through the odd Victorian architecture of Ocean Grove-- and we stumbled on a charming tiny house with excellent signage, a historic car show (really historic-- cars from 1903) and a dead, endangered prehistoric fish-- the Atlantic sturgeon-- apparently these things have occasionally been washing up on Jersey beaches.
Carbs = Appreciation
Dave's Lunchtime Planning Bites Him in the Ass
This year, I epically failed at Teacher Appreciation Week: Tuesday the administration bought us sandwiches but I never saw the sign-up email (and I had to take a half day to move Alex out from Rutgers) so I totally missed that and Wednesday Chick-fil-A delivered us a truckload of free chicken sandwiches, but my wife made me a delicious salad with blackened chicken-- so while I tasted a bite of Terry's chicken (first time I ever had Chick-Fil-A . . . pretty good) I didn't go to the cafeteria and procure an entire fried chicken sandwich because I was all full of healthy salad and today our boss bought us these delicious Italian sandwiches from this Italian Deli in Middlesex (Sapore) but I packed a bunch of super-tasty leftover Mexican food from La Casita (although I did manage to eat one little sandwich . . . on top of all the Mexican food, and then I could barely teach Hamlet the last period of the day) so next year I need to plan better (or plan worse!) and not bring lunch all week.
Every Clout Has a Silver Lining
Nietzsche's Eternal Recleaning
You do the dishes-- load the dishwasher, run it, wash the cutting boards, scrub the pots and pans but then-- magically and moments later-- the sink is full of dishes again.
6 Servings Per Container? Bullshit . . .
Fun and Easy Prom Themes
This week, the juniors are voting on next year's prom theme and I'm going to buttonhole the junior class president and spitball some ideas . . . here's what I've come up with so far:
1) Reservoir Dogs warehouse vibe-- easy and cheap (aside from the gruesome clean-up)
2) Grosse Point Blank assassin high school reunion vibe-- ditto . . .
3) Flash Dance and Sweatpants;
4) Toga, toga toga!
Chores are a Bore
Like Shawshank But Reverse
Over the years, I have pilfered a number of large stones from the park by my house to outline my wife's garden and our back fence and my friend Stacey fondly refers to this endeavor as The Reverse-Shawshank-- Andy Dufresne removes rocks from his cell wall tunnel to seek his redemption, while I surround myself with more and more rocks to feel freedom and absolution-- pretty weird and ironic-- but lately, I've been less concerned with rocks and instead I have been purloining MOSS from various secret locations, in an attempt to grow a carpet of moss in the shady areas of my backyard, where grass will not grow . . . and I guess, even though moss is not fungi (it's a non-vascular plant) we're still going to refer to this tactic as the Reverse-Last-of-Us.
Students and Cellphones, Together Forever?
For the first time in years, I had to confiscate a particular student's cellphone-- I've been trying to be diligent about getting the kids to put their phones in the caddy at the front of the room, but some of the kids smuggle them back to their seats, where they place them behind computers and book bags so that they can watch videos and do whatever teenagers do on their phones all-the-fucking-live-long-day-- or the screen addicted give popular rationales such as they need to charge the phone or text their mom or get a particular photo for a project that can only be accessed on their phone and then the next thing you know, they're on Snapchat or TikTok-- it's an exhausting battle and I wish our school would ban the damned things, especially since there is definitive research that phones are making kids dumber AND even if you don't use your phone in class, if someone near you is using their phone, it ruins your concentration as well-- I liken it to smoking-- not only is it bad for you, but it's also bad for the people around you breathing in second-hand-smoke-- and I certainly feel this secondhand effect teaching-- because even though I'm vigilant about not using my own phone in front of the kids-- I really try to set a good example-- but once I suspect a kid is illicitly screwing around with their phone (which shouldn't be on their person to begin with) then I lose concentration-- anyway, it usually doesn't come down to having to confiscate the phone-- that only happens every few years, but when it does, the student (who always seems to be female) inevitably flips out, cries, and curses at me . . . which is why this is such a hard policy to enforce because teens have so much emotional attachment to their phone-- once they freak out I tell them I'm not trained to handle this kind of emotional breakdown and addiction and they need to head to guidance for some guidance-- for example, and the student who had her phone confiscated once showed me that she does 16-18 hours of screen time a day on her phone-- which doesn't even seem possible and definitely requires some kind of professional guidance-- anyway, I get the fact that some teachers give up and don't enforce any kind of cellphone policy, because they're burned out and scared to face these kind of consequences-- but I'm trying to fight the good fight and maybe someday we'll get an administration that has done some reading on this subject and will just outright ban the things-- because they don't belong in school.
Dave Knows His Audience
I'm Mister Snow Miser
Summer Is Coming
What Is It Like to Be a Dog?
On this very special episode of We Defy Augury, I interview my good friend and fledgling author Rob Russell . . .we discuss his new book "JoJo the Small Town Hound: Volume 1, Leesburg, Virginia and the Curious Case of the Dog Money" and although the book is for children aged 7-10, Rob and I get into some fairly deep topics: the subjectivity of consciousness; structural racism and systemic prejudice towards black Americans, human and canine; the principles of drama; and the fleeting nature of our mortality-- and by the end of the episode, we develop an idea for the greatest children’s book that will never be written . . . Special Guests: Rob Russell, Method Man, and George Costanza.
Slurry Time!
A Riddle Wrapped in an Enigma That is Broadcasting Tomorrow is "Tuesday" Vibes
This week was so long and busy that it has inverted itself into an endless loop, turning my Friday energy into overwhelming Monday Mobius strip bewilderment.
So Many Steps, So Many Racket Sports
The Pathetic Fallacy, Pregnancy Edition
Today at work the ladies organized a "sprinkle" for a teacher who is very pregnant with her second child (and leaving at the end of the week) and it took me a couple hours to comprehend the term for the party . . . you have a baby "shower" for the first kid and then for the next kid, it's not as big a deal, so you tone the weather down a bit . . . and I guess for a third kid, you just get a "mist" or a "fog."
Sometimes, You Need To Strap Them On
Did Jesus Tell Off-Color Jokes With His Bros? Probably Not . . .
One of the primary and profound questions that the play Hamlet explores is the opening line: "Who's there?" and so in class today we were examining how Shakespeare illustrates Hamlet's behavior in Act I Scene ii in quick succession with his family, alone, and with his friends-- and in each situation, Hamlet exhibits different personality traits-- with his family, he is sarcastic, passive-aggressive, and resentful; alone he is depressed, world-weary, and disgusted by the corruption in the world and particularly in his mother; and when he sees his buddy Horatio he is cordial and warm and even makes a couple of jokes . . . so my students were describing their different personalities in different situations-- at work, as captain of the baseball team, in Calculus, etcetera-- and we agreed that it is often the situation that determines our behavior, not our personality-- we don't seize the moment, the moment seizes us . . . but I did acknowledge that there are a very select group of folks that behave the same in every situation-- but the only examples I could think of were Jesus, Buddha, and Godzilla.
Amazon . . . When You Need 5 Pounds of White Dutch Clover Seed NOW!
Strange Winds: A Meditation on Contamination
A long podcast episode deserves a long title-- and my newest episode of We Defy Augury is my longest episode yet-- so I have titled it "Strange Winds: A Meditation on Contamination" and it also has a long sub-title . . . "Examining Our Fears of Infection, Infiltration, and Impurity . . . Ideological and Otherwise" and this epic piece of audio is based on a strange coincidence-- I read four books in a row that deal-- directly and indirectly-- with our everchanging fears and anxieties about impurity and contamination . . . these are the books which my thoughts are (loosely) based on: Nelson DeMille's Cold War spy novel The Charm School; Dean R. Koontz's 90s tech thriller Dark Rivers of the Heart; Jonathan Blitzer's stellar book on the border situation-- Everyone Who Is Gone Is Here: The United States, Central America, and the Making of a Crisis-- and Silvia Moreno-Garcia's horror novel Mexican Gothic . . . and there are also plenty of special guests: Elizabeth and Philip Jennings, Dave Chapelle, John Cougar, Phil Connors, Bob Dylan, The Scorpions, Kansas, Sting, Long Duk Dong, General Ripper, General Turgidson, President Merkin Muffley, John Mulaney, Donald Trump, Marco Guttierez, Ivan Drago, and Tommy DeVito . . . so if you have a long car ride or you're training for a marathon, then give it a shot-- despite the length, I think it's got a fairly coherent argument.
Dave Almost Gets to Be Smart
I recently learned (when reading The New Analog: Listening and Reconnecting in a Digital World by Damon Krukowski) how noise-canceling headphones work . . . apparently they have microphones on the outside of the headphones that record the ambient noise around the headphone user-- then the headphones actively generate equal (but opposite) sound waves which reverse the polarity of the ambient noise . . . and I was excited to share this newfound knowledge with my Creative Writing class (after I told a girl to remove her giant noise-canceling headphones and enter reality) BUT I forgot something important-- so when I asked the class "Does anyone know how noise-canceling headphones actually work?" the majority of the class looked at me in bewilderment, aside from one girl, who raised her hand and reeled off the answer that I was so excited to tell the class . . . I had forgotten that the valedictorian is in my Creative Writing class-- she locked it up earlier in the year and so was slumming in an elective-- and becoming valedictorian of a giant high school like East Brunswick is no mean feat and it shows . . . she certainly took the wind out of my sails!
Dave's Calf Blooms Like a Spring Flower
This morning I made my triumphant return to 6:30 AM before school basketball-- we only had nine so we were playing full court four-on-four and my legs were NOT ready for this-- apparently PT and a bit of pickleball are not training for full court sprints with young people . . . but I survived, my calf felt good, and I even made a few shots (but missed far more than I made) and it was nice to get a work-out in before a long day of teaching Shakespeare and then riding in a van to Iselin to coach high school tennis.
The Gloves Will be Off
So exciting: my friend just published a children's book . . . even more exciting: in two days, I get to write a candid review of my friend's children's book!
Bring the Noise!
Backpack Vacuum!
All the Kids With Three Letter Names are Out Today
Our match got canceled today due to some fortuitous wind and rain-- fortuitous because one of our players (Kai) is at Model UN and the other (Udi) is "out of commission" because when he was riding his electric scooter in the rain yesterday, on his way home from our match in Johnson Park, he skidded out and hit the pavement, scraping up his hands and knees (but he's not completely injured-- he's my neighbor and I saw him today and he looked to be in decent shape-- although he was walking home from school, not riding his scooter) so we'll reset on Monday and hope for better weather (and not so fortuitously, we all had to evacuate my high school today during the rain storm because of an elevator malfunction-- the fire trucks had to come-- if the weather was decent it would have been the best delay of class ever, but because of the cold spitting drizzle and gusty winds, students and teachers alike wanted to get back to class and do some learning).
Fuzzy Wet Balls
Your Butt, A Pizza, Same Difference . . .
Post-modern Medicine (YouTube It!)
Totally the Latter
Which is more fun-- looking at the eclipse or looking at the people wearing the silly glasses used to view the eclipse?
Tomorrow, Keep the Ball Low
Tennis practice tomorrow is during the eclipse's maximum solar obscuration . . . so we will not be practicing overheads.
Traction . . . So Classic
Prediction? Pain
Long day for Ian-- he woke up in postoperative pain at 3 AM and it got so bad we had to go to the ER, where they drugged him up until he finally stopped writhing and spewing profanity, and thus slept through the rumbling earthquake that shook the hospital as well as the rest of New Jersey; then at noon we were able to take him from the ER to the surgical clinic where, the day before, they operated on his ankle and the head anesthesiologist came in and fixed his numbing catheter pumps and redid the nerve block and now he seems to be doing better (and anything is better than puking in a vomit bag in the waiting room of the surgical clinic because you had too many meds and car rides in succession).
Ankle Surgery Part II
Brian Selznick
Two days ago our acting principal (our actual principal just retired) came to me and asked if I wanted to take my English class to meet the author/illustrator Brian Selznick-- he was being inducted into the EBHS Hall of Fame and then he was going to speak to a small audience in the media center-- of course, I said "yes," because anything is better than teaching seniors the last period of the day-- especially when it's been training for four days straight-- and while I wasn't 100% certain who Brian Selznick was when the principal invited my class, I figured he was the guy who wrote and illustrated The Invention of Hugo Cabret because I knew that author was from East Brunswick and it turns out I was right-- and what a treat, Selznick is an excellent speaker, compelling, smart, and funny-- and he uses lots of gesticulations-- first he summarized his weird and wild career . . . illustrating books; writing books with illustrations; doing surreal puppetry that reminded me of Being John Malkovich; writing screenplays; seeing one of his creations turned into a Scorcese film; etcetera . . . but it was no fairy tale story-- he spent fifteen years illustrating small-time children's books before he took three years off from that gig to write and draw The Invention of Hugo Cabret-- which was a real favorite in my house . . . and we got the book before we knew the author graduated from East Brunswick-- Selznick also spoke on creativity, where good ideas come from, his constant desire to change things up artistically, what it was like to be gay in high school in the '80s (very different than now-- he was impressed by all the rainbow flag posters around the school promoting LGBTQ+ clubs-- back when he was in high school it was like The Replacements album . . . Don't Tell a Soul) and the fact that when you are in high school, you are focused on the present and it all seems normal, but when you look back at it, it's always kind of strange . . . and he mentioned the casual homophobic slurs and racial stereotypes in Sixteen Candles as an example-- anyway, it was a good time-- and the fact that one of my student's dad graduated with Selznick, and Selznick remembered hanging out with him back in the day sort of brought the whole shebang full circle.