Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Breaking (Peanut Butter) News!
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After my friend and podcasting partner Stacey read my candid peanut butter based confession, she went and checked her cupboard and sh...
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One Is Obnoxious But Three Makes It Funny
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My wife called me into the kitchen and presented me with exhibits A, B, and C . . . three jars of peanut butter, in a line, on the counter...
Which Child is Smarter?
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My entrepreneurial (and acquisitive) twelve year old son Ian and his buddy Ben went out after the storm last week to earn some cash shovelin...
The Reason People Are Always Finding Things For Me
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I'm good looking, not good at looking.
The 200 Million Dollar Name?
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Glenn Straub claims he sold his hip ultra-modern Atlantic City casino "Revel" to Bruce Deifik because of excessive regulatory requ...
Dave Does NOT Bring the Hammer Down
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This year, I'm teaching my students very differently than I have in years previous and this is mainly because our college writing class ...
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O Brave New World That Has Such (Savage) People In It
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While I may have recently learned how to mop, that doesn't bely the fact that I have come a long way in terms of savagery, hygiene and c...
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My Wife Insists That The Thing I Just Said Must Be My Sentence Today
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I don't know how to mop.
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Today's Sentence Is Cancelled Due to Inclement Weather . . . or is it?
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An ideal snow day for a misanthropic grouch like me: the conditions on the sled hill next to our house are perfect, my kids and their friend...
Forces (and Dog Vomit) Conspire Against Me
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In philosophy class, we're discussing free will and determinism . . . I like to do this unit right after the New Year so we can discuss ...
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2018: Year of YOG
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My resolution for 2018 is to consistently involve myself in things that begin with the phoneme "yog" . . . I need to incorporate m...
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The Best Sentence of 2017 (That Was Never Written)
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Here is my favorite moment of 2017 that I should have written a sentence about: we were doing some peer-editing in my college writing cl...
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2017 Book List
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I just finished my 46th book of 2017 this afternoon and it's a fitting one for the end of the year; Kids These Days: Human Capital and t...
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The Looming Time
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The end of winter break is rearing its ugly head; to prepare, I woke up early this morning, did some school work, went to the gym, recorded ...
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What I Learned Over Winter Break
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When my schedule is unobstructed by work, sports, and chores-- no matter how late I've slept or how many hours of sleep I had the night ...
Dave's Head: Too Big for our Government
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Apparently, my head is too big for me to the leave the country . . . or that's what the lady at the passport office told me: accordi...
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The Power is a Shocker
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I've frequently opined upon science-fiction up in this house, and my usual point is this: to qualify as real science-fiction, the setti...
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Irony vs. Coincidence: The Definitive (and Miraculous) Explanation
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On Christmas Eve, my wife was preparing some spicy nuts for the big party when the doorbell rang; it was our neighbor Ira with a present for...
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Enjoy the Gifts, Prodigal Sons
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Merry Christmas, to all those participating in the materialist-consumptionist complex.
Abracadabra . . . Dave Will Vanish at the End of this Sentence
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No time to write-- we're having forty people over tonight and I have a chore list to accomplish . . . I wouldn't be so pressed for t...
Comparison is the Thief of Joy?
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My kids and I watched the new Star Wars movie Thursday afternoon, and it's tolerable-- the fight scenes are decent, there's a fun ch...
Get Your Head in the Bardo
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You've probably heard that acclaimed short-story writer George Saunders won the Man Booker prize for his first novel, Lincoln in the Bar...
What is the Opposite of a Diamond in the Rough?
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We got into a discussion the other day somewhere in the comments on Gheorghe:TheBlog about the worst songs on the best albums, and this topi...
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I've Got Other Plans . . . Personal Plans
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I wish I could be as tight-lipped about my business as Tom Doniphon in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance . . . but part of the fun of taking...
You Need Both
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When you pick up the skis, make sure you also pick up the boots.
The Whirligig of Time Brings in His Revenges
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This Monday morning-- the darkest of all Monday mornings, the Monday morning closest to the winter solstice, the Monday morning when yo...
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Gas Tank = Toilet Paper Roll
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So apparently there are two types of people: 1) people who fill their gas tank as soon as it gets a bit low; 2) people who drive around...
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Farewell, Interlocking Plastic Bricks
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Today marked the end of an era, as we packed all the Legos in the basement into two giant green plastic containers and put them in the crawl...
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7 Books For Reading
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I did my work over at Gheorghe: the Blog today: my seven favorite books I read this year.
Smelling Some Smells
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Yesterday, in a free moment before my second period class entered the room, I did some stretching (you should properly loosen up your muscle...
Nice Work Wilkie!
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I just finished The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins and though it was published in 1868 and the story is told by an extensive epistolary spiral...
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Hologram Elvis: Champion of the Impoverished Masses
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The perfunctory nature of this blog limits me from doing any real research or deep thinking about the random crap I post, so while I'm...
A Game of Political Chicken
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The new episode of This American Life, "Our Town," takes an in depth look at a classic political conundrum: which came first . ...
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Voodoo Lady, Doing That Stuff That You Do . . . Knocking Me Out With Your Voodoo
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Today's session at the acupuncturist really concentrated the "puncture" portion of the treatment; I became a pincushion, a hum...
Anti-natalist Chickens
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During the latest episode of Waking Up With Sam Harris , David Benatar discusses his philosophical stance "anti-natalism," an...
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Passive Aggressive Punning
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Once again, Stacey was repeatedly spritzing her lunch with her bright yellow bottle of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter brand spray b...
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Putting It On Wax (Museum)
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Over the course of my life, I have purchased, with sincerity, three audio formats: vinyl records, cassettes, and CDs-- in fact, in 1989 I w...
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The Treachery of Dave
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This sentence is not a pipe (nor is it a spoon . . . because there is no spoon).
Dog Lovers Should (Not) Read This
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After some intense discussion in Philosophy class, we decided that it would probably be more utilitarian if dog owners decided at the outset...
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Note to Self: Buy Granola
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Basmati rice in a brown zip-lock style bag has a similar heft as a bag of granola, and it also has a simlar feel and sound when it is poured...
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Spreading Some News About NYC
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Yesterday, for my wife's birthday, we went on a West Village food tour that transmogrified into a West Village bar crawl; here is the it...
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That's a Nice Paper You've Got There . . .
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This year at East Brunswick, I am teaching three sections of the notorious Rutgers Expos class to high school seniors; last summer, we ...
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This One is No Fun
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So I found out yesterday that an old student of mine (Emily Fredricks, graduated in 2011) was riding her bike to work in Philly and got hit ...
The Best Gifts Don't Even Come in a Package
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The kids and I decided to go cheap and painful this year with my wife's birthday gift: next week, we are going to do all the cooking...
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Tuition Wars
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So here is my idea for a reality TV show . . . and I wish I had the gumption to actually do it: I tell my two children we are going to pay f...
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Compare/Contra$t
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It's doubly annoying: not only do I have to take a day off of school so I can accompany my son Ian on his Initial Orthodontic Workup...
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Biathlon Lovers Beware
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Our friends Rob and Tammy (who moved from central Jersey to Vermont many many years ago) stopped by on Saturday and they reminded us that ba...
All Hail Professor Truck
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Finally got this song to sound the way I imagined it in my head.
That Prop is a Hero!
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I learned a new term during the latest 99% Invisible : a "hero prop" is an item in a film that has a life of its own and serves mo...
I AM the Internet
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Let's all take a moment and celebrate ten years of Sentence of Dave (ten years man! ten years! ten years . . . TEN . . . ten YEARS...
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Smile . . . It's Thanksgiving (and, hopefully, you weren't molested by the head brother)
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I felt slightly betrayed at the end of Roddy Doyle's new novel Smile . . . the narrator and the narration unravel into a metafictional ...
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Dave Accessorizes!
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It makes me extremely jealous that women have so many fabulous choices on how to accessorize their outfits-- scarves and brooches, feather b...
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Machine vs. Anti-Machine
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Yikes . . . I wrote a lot of words about Highland Park soccer over on Gheorghe:TheBlog . . . my post is called Machine vs. Anti-Machine , ...
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It Might Be the Pants?
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I got on the scale this morning and the number seemed a little heavy-- normally I step on just wearing underwear but this morning I also had...
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Cheers + The Replacements/2 = Professor Truck
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I finished up a new song: "Lost Souls" . . . it's what you get if you add "Here Come a Regular" and the Cheers ...
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Can You Hear Me Never?
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So that's all she wrote . . . after twenty-five years of monogamous bliss with my lovely spouse, we're calling it quits . . . not wi...
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Is Holding Your Breath Exercise?
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Enduring the stench in the men's locker room at the North Brunswick LA Fitness is a workout in itself.
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Where to Go & What to Get
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Here's a million dollar idea for all the ambitious web entrepreneurs out there: there should be some kind of bot (or industrious group o...
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My Son Ian Is Smart Like Kramer
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Last night, I banged on the bathroom door and told my son Ian to brush his teeth and get out of the bathroom, because I wanted to shower--...
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The Test 102: Superstitious Spray Butter Intervention
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This week on our podcast The Test , things get real . . . grievances are aired, alliances are formed, and amidst the chaos, I manage to adm...
If It's Not Spanish, It's CRAP!
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On my car ride to work this morning, in order to lexically prepare for our big family trip to Costa Rica, I listened to several episodes ...
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Carry the Little Cup Proudly
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This one goes out to all the folks who aren't afraid to ask for a gratis tap water cup when they're eating fast casual . . . it'...
Poopy's Law (with Apologies to Adrian McKinty)
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So here's the big follow-up to the first post ever commented on by an acclaimed author on Sentence of Dave . . . I've noticed that ...
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Adrian McKinty + Willie Nelson = Literature
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Adrian McKinty has produced another solid mystery set amidst the Troubles in Northern Ireland-- Police at the Station and They Don't Lo...
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NYC: Yin, Yang, and a Lot of Grime
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We went to the city today and it was a study in contrasts: after a brief brisk walk from our tree-lined, bosky town, we boarded a grimy Jers...
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There's Always a Tradeoff
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Acupuncture alleviated my plantar fasciitis (but now my calf is really sore, which makes sense since my acupuncturist stuck a bunch of needl...
Good Walkers, Spoiled
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There are few things I enjoy more than taking a brisk walk with my dog on a fall day; I usually listen to a podcast or some jazz (lately I...
More Proof That Dreams Are Meaningless
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Just before I went to bed on Thursday, my son Alex showed me the piece of his saxophone which needed fixing, and then I had a very vivid dre...
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The Test 101: YouTube, Me Tube, We All Tube
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This week on The Test , Cunningham takes us on an inspirationally aspirational (aspirational inspirational?) journey into the wild world o...
The Good Life: Ages 16 to Adult
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I played some pick-up basketball today at LA Fitness today and the age range in the first game had to be pushing the Guinness book for a com...
Early Resolve
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We should remember that the Gregorian calendar is a human construct and not get too hung up on it; in this spirit, I'm going to start m...
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13 - 0
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The Athletic Director and I tried our best to find a team to beat my middle school soccer crew, but despite our best efforts they went undef...
5 comments:
Larry David = Monticello
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Larry David is a national treasure and the highest authorities in the land should compel him to make "Curb Your Enthusiasm" until ...
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