Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
This Happened? In America? Less Than 100 Years Ago? Yikes
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David Grann's book Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI is a tough story in more ways than one; it'...
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Dave is Never Too Old to Learn Stuff (but He'll Never Have a Nice Car)
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I went for a run with the dog this morning on the towpath (the narrow park between the Raritan River and the Delaware and Raritan Canal) ...
3 comments:
The Test 89: Music From the Past (for the Future)
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Another clever thematic music quiz from Stacey this week on The Test . . . so listen to the song clips, identify the artists, contempla...
Barrett vs Tolstoy
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Lisa Feldman Barrett begs to differ with the opening premise of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina : "Happy families are all alike; every unh...
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Ode to Talcum
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I've just finished showering the dirt and grit and sweat and talcum powder off my body, accumulated from hiking twenty plus miles-- the ...
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Old Dog = New Tricks
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Not only did I eat at a pizza place that I had never tried before ( Pasquales . . . delicious, thin chewy crust and they put a bit of pesto...
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Not Quite the Second Coming . . . But Close
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Testify and praise the good lord above, because I prayed and my prayers were answered-- that is correct: I found Jesus last night . . . he a...
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A Very Important Quiz
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I gave my students a final quiz on Shakespeare's comedy "Much Ado About Nothing" this morning; I told them to use all the know...
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I Did It!
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Catherine comes home from San Francisco tonight, and while the house is a bit of a mess, I think she'll be pleased that both her gardens...
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How To Make a New Ultra HDTV Look Shitty (Like It Should)
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We finally got a new TV . . a 55 inch Ultra HD LG; to break it in, we watched Poltergeist and I had an odd complaint: the picture was t...
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Bonus Update: Geeks > Freaks
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All this scene needs is for James Franco to show up.
Like Dungeon Master Like Son
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I've been really proud of my boys the past week-- it seems they've forsaken the behaviors that dominated this school year: fighti...
This Needed to be Said
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The US1 Flea Market , for those of you who have never been, was the living embodiment of Ebay.
Dave Discloses His Personal Business (for the Good of Future Scientists)
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I used my last personal day yesterday, and I'm going to document what I did with it, so anthropologists in the future have an example of...
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Three? Why Not Four?
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There's a cottage industry of journalism that operates by taking the absurd shit that Donald Trump says seriously and then spinning out ...
Put Your Bugs Where Your Mouth Is
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Every spring, our house gets invaded by these tiny little ants, and while this really bugs my wife-- she does her best to eradicate them wit...
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The Test 88: Fear the Reaper
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Despite the proximal whirling scythe of grim-visaged death, we prevail and present you with this podcast full of grim shit; special guest Mi...
The Shawshank Inspiration (for blood-sucking parasites)
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I need to train a bird (like Brooks had in Shawshank) to patrol my body and eat the many ticks that end up residing on me after I run in the...
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Sooner = Meta-cheater
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Perhaps you're a clueless on this topic as I was yesterday, but "Sooners" is a more offensive nickname than "Redskins&quo...
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Someone Should Have Told Me This Two Months Ago
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It's so much easier to shave when you use a new razor.
Never Mind What It's Called . . . Eat This Food!
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This is a bit local, but there's a great authentic Mexican restaurant right across Route 18 from East Brunswick High School, and I wa...
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Dave Gets Extra About Extra!
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I'm often amused by the slang words high school kids sprinkle into their lexicon; I enjoy hearing them use "swag" and "li...
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The Singularity vs. Nightfall
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Ian Morris begins his massive history of Eastern and Western social development, Why the West Rules-- for Now: The Patterns of History, and ...
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Is Sloth Contagious?
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Senior-cut-day has infected my brains and robbed me of my initiative . . . hopefully we'll all be back in gear tomorrow.
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Dave Embraces the Future
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In honor of finally finishing Why the West Rules-- for Now: The Patterns of History, and What They Reveal About the Future, a monstrous tome...
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Butt Dial Plus
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Thursday night at the bar, I had to confirm to a friend that I had butt-dialed him, and he sent back a text that said, "I thought I hea...
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Watching the Matrix Inside the Matrix
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We were watching The Matrix last week in my senior composition class, and we had already covered the philosophical implications of the film...
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Ballsy Bootlegger
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When we got home from soccer practice last night, Catherine greeted Ian with the statement: "I found something in your bookbag" an...
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Manchesters Fictitious and Real
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Although it is well-acted, impeccably structured, and beautifully filmed, watching Manchester by the Sea is about as much fun as following ...
Did I Finish This Book?
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If you're a fan of big data, breezy writing, fun facts and sex and sex and sex and sex, then you'll certainly enjoy Seth Stephens-Da...
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Decisions in Basketball Have No Bearing on Decisions in Life
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Pick-up basketball night is all about making quick decisions with the ball, and my son Alex is certainly getting better at that-- he made a ...
The Test 87: Brothers From Another Mother
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Another brilliant and creative test idea from Stacey this week, and she thought of it all by herself . . . without the help of a man . . ...
Applying the Bard to the Beautiful Game
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We had a low turnout for this morning's travel soccer game in Flemington; we were missing several key players and had only one substitut...
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It's Saturday and It's Raining . . . Again
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Last week one of my students said, "It rains every weekend" and I pedantically pointed out how irrational her logic was-- how the ...
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R.I.P Grunge
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I am usually unmoved by celebrity deaths but Chris Cornell's death is more symbolic . . . grunge is now truly dead: Cornell joins Kurt C...
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The Sixth Grade Scoop
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I'll warn you at the start, this is hot stuff, salacious even, so put on your oven mitts and handle it with care: last night my son Ian ...
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That's Recycling!
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I haven't put together a will and last testament yet, so this sentence is going to have to suffice: when I die, I want to have a sky bur...
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Thucydides Saw It Coming . . .
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The South China Sea may end up being a battle between the submarines and the "slum encampments on stilts," between China and the r...
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Rationalize This
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The home mortgage income deduction: a ridiculous subsidy to upper middle class and rich folks that will probably never go away because uppe...
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The Test 86: Movies in Five (That's Three Sir)
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This week on The Test , Stacey presents a brilliant set of cinematic puzzles, but despite the high quality of the quiz, a peeing dog, l...
Dave Uses the Scientific Method
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Thursday night, I was offensively flatulent, and I blamed this-- by process of elimination-- on something in the taco meat; Friday, my wife ...
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Adrian McKinty Does It Again
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Mercury tilt bombs, Castle Carrickfergus, Jimmy Savile, the Troubles, Belfast, Coronation Road, atrocious scandals, a locked room murder, co...
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Robert Kaplan: More Analogies!
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When my wife and I lived in Syria, it made sense for me to read a lot of Robert Kaplan: Balkan Ghosts, An Empire in Wilderness, The Coming A...
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Deer Beer Diary . . .
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The lady at the beer store in Ludlow said I should start a beer diary so I could better remember what I like . . . but Gary Taubes told me b...
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The Enemy is Delicious
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Fat is fine, but that's the only good news: the enemy is everywhere, and the enemy is addictive and the enemy is sugar . . . if you wan...
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The Miracle of the Missing ID
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Friday when I got home from work, I unloaded the car-- beer and ice for our Cinco de Mayo party-- and then I took off my windbreaker and not...
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The Gastro-Inevitable
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I thought this batch of jalapeno infused tequila I whipped up for Cinco de Mayo was fairly mild (and it was certainly milder than this first...
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Drones: Miniature Paranoia
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1990s paranoia was all about unmarked helicopters-- they loomed, they surveilled, they indicated the presence of a mysterious authority-- bu...
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Thank You, Stupid Meat Brain
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I can't find a specific name for this logical fallacy, but I'm sure you'll understand what I'm talking about: sometimes peop...
Let's Get Ready to (Logically) Bumble!
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In honor of logical fallacy week here at SoD , I oversimplified things yesterday and I'm going to make an unfounded, imprecise analogy ...
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The Internet (in a nutshell)
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When we have access to everything, we don't know anything.
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Operation . . . for Realsies
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I hope you are enjoying vintage commercial/logical fallacy week here at Sentence of Dave, and I will begin this episode with an example...
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The Straw Ham Argument
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In my composition class we're reviewing common logical fallacies, which helped me finally put my finger on the exact reason this co...
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The Test 85: Going with the Flow
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Please join us this week for a very special episode of The Test . . . I promise you mysteries and surprises, the revelation of a new super...
Quest for Pizza . . . The Best Tomato Pie?
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Alex had a game out in West Windsor today, so we got pizza from DeLorenzo's in Robbinsville . . . it is supposed to be the best "t...
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Am I Dave?
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I am nearly finished with Dan Chaon's novel Await Your Reply -- which Jonathan Franzen calls "the essential identify-theft novel&qu...
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Happy BYCTWD! Sort of . . .
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Happy Bring Your Child to Work Day . . . or, as we like to call it, Happy Bring Your Child to Work Day Because He Got Suspended From School ...
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False Advertising or Just Desserts?
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When I pulled onto Woodbridge Avenue on my way home from work today, I noticed that the Honda CRV in front of me sported a vanity plate that...
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Extra Life
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I finished Tom Bissell's book Extra Lives today and the last chapter-- a meditation on a short period of his life when he was addicted ...
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Cromulent?
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I'm halfway through Tom Bissell's critical analysis of the aesthetics, rhetoric, and narrative structure of modern epic video games,...
The Test 84: The Six Degrees of Canine Flatulence
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This week on The Test , we explore the limits of human cognition, i.e. if it's possible for three people asphyxiating from dog farts ...
A Snake to Bring on a Plane
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Apparently, there are twenty-two species of snake found in New Jersey . . . and if you grab most of these critters, they'll probably...
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Get Off the Internet and Read This Book!
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If you're looking to read something completely different, totally memorable, compelling, funny, and downright awesome (I really love ...
Rough Road Ahead
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It was with great sadness yesterday that I wrote my eleven year old son Ian an IOU for "one pound of high quality Birnn chocolate,"...
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Second Hand Tech
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The young lady behind me on Route 18 this morning was completely distracted by her phone, texting at every stop light, glancing at the scree...
Spiders and Snakes Oh My
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My son Ian came home from the woods yesterday sporting two garter snake bites-- one on his hand and one on his finger, both fairly imp...
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At Least It Was Bob (and not a Bot)
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My friend Bob showed me a demonstration video for the Electro Harmonix Synth 9 Synthesizer Machine Pedal (a guitar pedal that makes your ...
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This Game Needs a Name . . .
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Alec and I collaborated on a fantastic new party game last night and we even persuaded a few people to participate . . . the rules are a bit...
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A Bit More Serenity Than Yesterday . . .
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Last day of the ski/snowboard season was a memorable one-- Okemo kept the Jackson-Gore Peak closed all week and opened it yesterday, so whil...
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Serenity Almost
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The scene: early morning in the ski lodge, snowy mountains stretched across the front windows, clusters of people quietly chatting, sipping ...
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The Test 83: Going Viral
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This week on The Test , Cunningham proudly presents "the dumbest thing she's ever made," and while she doesn't know wha...
Family + Isolation = Here's Johnny!
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Catherine keeps interrupting me while I write this sentence, but I'm trying to keep my cool . . . I'm trying to avoid bashing her br...
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Interesting Coleopteran Information
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Love Me Do! The Beatles Progress is regarded by many credible sources as the best book about the Beatles and while I'm not the one to ...
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Spring Break Vermont: Hot as Daytona, But No Wet T-Shirt Contest
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Some highlights from this bizarrely warm snowboarding trip: 1) fun this morning at Okemo, but got extremely slushy and thus exhausting . ....
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Spring Break Vermont!
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Weird winter wonderland up here in Southern Vermont: we are staying at our favorite rental property, it lies in a pocket of deep snow betwee...
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What the High School Kids Think Is Funny
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A student told me this joke, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker: How did the turtle cross the freeway? Hint: take the "f"...
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Spoilers, Ancient and Modern
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If you haven't listened to S-Town yet, you should . . . and if you haven't read (or watched) Hamlet yet, then you probably never w...
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Memories . . . Light the Corners of My Mind?
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Dan Chaon's new thriller Ill Will will make you question everything you think you know about your past, and while elements of the novel ...
I Am Valuable
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Although I'm certainly not the head chef in our kitchen, there are certain things at which I excel during dinner preparation:: I am a go...
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Jimmy Gluestick Fingers
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Our family just watched the 1990 Tim Burton classic Edward Scissorhands , and while we enjoyed the visuals: the brightly colored antise...
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To Distribute or Not to Distribute
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My two favorite wonky podcasts have recently done episodes on healthcare ( The Weeds , Common Sense ) and the takeaway is this: 1) America...
The Test 82: Fill in the Trump
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The bigliest, most beautiful, classiest Test ever, inspired by this Car Seat Headrest song . . . a great great test, I'm certain you...
6 comments:
The Problem is You, Dave
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More often than I'd like, I jack my phone into a charging cord that is not plugged into any sort of electrical outlet, and then at some ...
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