Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Butt Dial Plus
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Thursday night at the bar, I had to confirm to a friend that I had butt-dialed him, and he sent back a text that said, "I thought I hea...
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Watching the Matrix Inside the Matrix
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We were watching The Matrix last week in my senior composition class, and we had already covered the philosophical implications of the film...
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Ballsy Bootlegger
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When we got home from soccer practice last night, Catherine greeted Ian with the statement: "I found something in your bookbag" an...
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Manchesters Fictitious and Real
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Although it is well-acted, impeccably structured, and beautifully filmed, watching Manchester by the Sea is about as much fun as following ...
Did I Finish This Book?
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If you're a fan of big data, breezy writing, fun facts and sex and sex and sex and sex, then you'll certainly enjoy Seth Stephens-Da...
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Decisions in Basketball Have No Bearing on Decisions in Life
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Pick-up basketball night is all about making quick decisions with the ball, and my son Alex is certainly getting better at that-- he made a ...
The Test 87: Brothers From Another Mother
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Another brilliant and creative test idea from Stacey this week, and she thought of it all by herself . . . without the help of a man . . ...
Applying the Bard to the Beautiful Game
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We had a low turnout for this morning's travel soccer game in Flemington; we were missing several key players and had only one substitut...
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It's Saturday and It's Raining . . . Again
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Last week one of my students said, "It rains every weekend" and I pedantically pointed out how irrational her logic was-- how the ...
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R.I.P Grunge
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I am usually unmoved by celebrity deaths but Chris Cornell's death is more symbolic . . . grunge is now truly dead: Cornell joins Kurt C...
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The Sixth Grade Scoop
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I'll warn you at the start, this is hot stuff, salacious even, so put on your oven mitts and handle it with care: last night my son Ian ...
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That's Recycling!
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I haven't put together a will and last testament yet, so this sentence is going to have to suffice: when I die, I want to have a sky bur...
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Thucydides Saw It Coming . . .
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The South China Sea may end up being a battle between the submarines and the "slum encampments on stilts," between China and the r...
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Rationalize This
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The home mortgage income deduction: a ridiculous subsidy to upper middle class and rich folks that will probably never go away because uppe...
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The Test 86: Movies in Five (That's Three Sir)
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This week on The Test , Stacey presents a brilliant set of cinematic puzzles, but despite the high quality of the quiz, a peeing dog, l...
Dave Uses the Scientific Method
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Thursday night, I was offensively flatulent, and I blamed this-- by process of elimination-- on something in the taco meat; Friday, my wife ...
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Adrian McKinty Does It Again
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Mercury tilt bombs, Castle Carrickfergus, Jimmy Savile, the Troubles, Belfast, Coronation Road, atrocious scandals, a locked room murder, co...
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Robert Kaplan: More Analogies!
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When my wife and I lived in Syria, it made sense for me to read a lot of Robert Kaplan: Balkan Ghosts, An Empire in Wilderness, The Coming A...
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Deer Beer Diary . . .
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The lady at the beer store in Ludlow said I should start a beer diary so I could better remember what I like . . . but Gary Taubes told me b...
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The Enemy is Delicious
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Fat is fine, but that's the only good news: the enemy is everywhere, and the enemy is addictive and the enemy is sugar . . . if you wan...
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The Miracle of the Missing ID
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Friday when I got home from work, I unloaded the car-- beer and ice for our Cinco de Mayo party-- and then I took off my windbreaker and not...
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The Gastro-Inevitable
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I thought this batch of jalapeno infused tequila I whipped up for Cinco de Mayo was fairly mild (and it was certainly milder than this first...
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Drones: Miniature Paranoia
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1990s paranoia was all about unmarked helicopters-- they loomed, they surveilled, they indicated the presence of a mysterious authority-- bu...
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Thank You, Stupid Meat Brain
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I can't find a specific name for this logical fallacy, but I'm sure you'll understand what I'm talking about: sometimes peop...
Let's Get Ready to (Logically) Bumble!
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In honor of logical fallacy week here at SoD , I oversimplified things yesterday and I'm going to make an unfounded, imprecise analogy ...
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The Internet (in a nutshell)
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When we have access to everything, we don't know anything.
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Operation . . . for Realsies
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I hope you are enjoying vintage commercial/logical fallacy week here at Sentence of Dave, and I will begin this episode with an example...
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The Straw Ham Argument
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In my composition class we're reviewing common logical fallacies, which helped me finally put my finger on the exact reason this co...
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The Test 85: Going with the Flow
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Please join us this week for a very special episode of The Test . . . I promise you mysteries and surprises, the revelation of a new super...
Quest for Pizza . . . The Best Tomato Pie?
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Alex had a game out in West Windsor today, so we got pizza from DeLorenzo's in Robbinsville . . . it is supposed to be the best "t...
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Am I Dave?
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I am nearly finished with Dan Chaon's novel Await Your Reply -- which Jonathan Franzen calls "the essential identify-theft novel&qu...
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Happy BYCTWD! Sort of . . .
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Happy Bring Your Child to Work Day . . . or, as we like to call it, Happy Bring Your Child to Work Day Because He Got Suspended From School ...
2 comments:
False Advertising or Just Desserts?
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When I pulled onto Woodbridge Avenue on my way home from work today, I noticed that the Honda CRV in front of me sported a vanity plate that...
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Extra Life
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I finished Tom Bissell's book Extra Lives today and the last chapter-- a meditation on a short period of his life when he was addicted ...
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Cromulent?
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I'm halfway through Tom Bissell's critical analysis of the aesthetics, rhetoric, and narrative structure of modern epic video games,...
The Test 84: The Six Degrees of Canine Flatulence
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This week on The Test , we explore the limits of human cognition, i.e. if it's possible for three people asphyxiating from dog farts ...
A Snake to Bring on a Plane
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Apparently, there are twenty-two species of snake found in New Jersey . . . and if you grab most of these critters, they'll probably...
4 comments:
Get Off the Internet and Read This Book!
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If you're looking to read something completely different, totally memorable, compelling, funny, and downright awesome (I really love ...
Rough Road Ahead
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It was with great sadness yesterday that I wrote my eleven year old son Ian an IOU for "one pound of high quality Birnn chocolate,"...
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Second Hand Tech
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The young lady behind me on Route 18 this morning was completely distracted by her phone, texting at every stop light, glancing at the scree...
Spiders and Snakes Oh My
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My son Ian came home from the woods yesterday sporting two garter snake bites-- one on his hand and one on his finger, both fairly imp...
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At Least It Was Bob (and not a Bot)
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My friend Bob showed me a demonstration video for the Electro Harmonix Synth 9 Synthesizer Machine Pedal (a guitar pedal that makes your ...
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This Game Needs a Name . . .
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Alec and I collaborated on a fantastic new party game last night and we even persuaded a few people to participate . . . the rules are a bit...
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A Bit More Serenity Than Yesterday . . .
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Last day of the ski/snowboard season was a memorable one-- Okemo kept the Jackson-Gore Peak closed all week and opened it yesterday, so whil...
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Serenity Almost
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The scene: early morning in the ski lodge, snowy mountains stretched across the front windows, clusters of people quietly chatting, sipping ...
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The Test 83: Going Viral
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This week on The Test , Cunningham proudly presents "the dumbest thing she's ever made," and while she doesn't know wha...
Family + Isolation = Here's Johnny!
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Catherine keeps interrupting me while I write this sentence, but I'm trying to keep my cool . . . I'm trying to avoid bashing her br...
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Interesting Coleopteran Information
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Love Me Do! The Beatles Progress is regarded by many credible sources as the best book about the Beatles and while I'm not the one to ...
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Spring Break Vermont: Hot as Daytona, But No Wet T-Shirt Contest
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Some highlights from this bizarrely warm snowboarding trip: 1) fun this morning at Okemo, but got extremely slushy and thus exhausting . ....
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Spring Break Vermont!
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Weird winter wonderland up here in Southern Vermont: we are staying at our favorite rental property, it lies in a pocket of deep snow betwee...
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What the High School Kids Think Is Funny
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A student told me this joke, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker: How did the turtle cross the freeway? Hint: take the "f"...
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Spoilers, Ancient and Modern
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If you haven't listened to S-Town yet, you should . . . and if you haven't read (or watched) Hamlet yet, then you probably never w...
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Memories . . . Light the Corners of My Mind?
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Dan Chaon's new thriller Ill Will will make you question everything you think you know about your past, and while elements of the novel ...
I Am Valuable
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Although I'm certainly not the head chef in our kitchen, there are certain things at which I excel during dinner preparation:: I am a go...
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Jimmy Gluestick Fingers
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Our family just watched the 1990 Tim Burton classic Edward Scissorhands , and while we enjoyed the visuals: the brightly colored antise...
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To Distribute or Not to Distribute
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My two favorite wonky podcasts have recently done episodes on healthcare ( The Weeds , Common Sense ) and the takeaway is this: 1) America...
The Test 82: Fill in the Trump
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The bigliest, most beautiful, classiest Test ever, inspired by this Car Seat Headrest song . . . a great great test, I'm certain you...
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The Problem is You, Dave
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More often than I'd like, I jack my phone into a charging cord that is not plugged into any sort of electrical outlet, and then at some ...
No Spoilers (No Shit)
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I finished S-Town this afternoon, and I won't spoil anything-- other than the fact that my previous prediction (Bitcoin!) was idiotic ....
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Spoiler? Only If Dave is as Smart as John B. McLemore
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I am just starting episode five of S-Town , the fantastic new podcast from the producers of This American Life and Serial , and I have a bo...
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Why Do We Walk So Far For Ice Cream?
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The Median Voter Theorem-- an idea based on Harold Hoteling's theory of spatial competition, which Anthony Downs linked to the U.S. ...
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Dave Returns! With the Usual Drivel . . .
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My wife and I escaped from the children this weekend and enjoyed some unscheduled time in the City of Brotherly Love . . . and while we ...
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Questions of Dave Part IV
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Did the lobbyists who perpetuate our flawed and byzantine healthcare system conspire with the lobbyists who block tax reform ?-- because th...
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Questions of Dave Part III
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Now that music is essentially free (Spotify, YouTube, etc.) and streamable, will creditors grant amnesty to those who are still delinquent o...
Questions of Dave Part II
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At what rate must you consume a 48 ounce plastic jug of garden fresh Costco salsa in order to finish it before it goes sour?
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Questions of Dave Part I
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Cat and I are leaving the kids with my parents and heading to the City of Brotherly Love for the weekend, so I'll provide you some...
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Dave's Brain = Random Band Name Generator
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From the man who provided this phenomenal (but inappropriate) band name, gratis, here's another . . . it's a bit more intellectual...
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Dave Has No Need For Telepathy
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It turns out that my new mind-reading machine is fairly useless-- I thought it might be interesting to read Donald Trump's mind, but his...
Telepathy of Dave
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Just got my new mind-reader operating, so I pointed it at Paul Ryan's brain and found this gem: people will enjoy their own subpar healt...
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Dave + March = Mirror Madness
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I was tired today, despite a good night's sleep and I just realized why . . . I'm exhausted from watching all that NCAA basketball--...
The Test 81: Of What It Is Made
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This week on The Test , Dave and Stacey learn that a lot of stuff is made of other kinds of stuff . . . and Cunningham knows what that stu...
King Guam
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Kong: Skull Island is an entertaining mash-up of Apocalypse Now and every archetypal monster-movie trope; while it certainly has it's s...
Breaking News!
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Occasionally, the master becomes the student, and a good teacher will accept this turning of the tables and try to glean as much wisdom as p...
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Missing Ari Shaffir
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Last week, I nearly descended into madness , and this week, my podcasting partner Stacey flirted with her own lunatic demons; over the w...
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DST Is Easier to Deal With When You Don't Have to Go to Work
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Where It Hurts , a noir crime thriller set on Long Island-- but nowhere near the Hamptons-- is about as dark and violent as the genre gets, ...
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Pun of the Century?
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My friend Terry would not shut up yesterday about the imminent blizzard-- he kept abreast of the weather forecast on a minute-to-minute basi...
The Test 80 . . . Dave Descends into Darkness
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If you thought you were going to escape my semi-annual DST rant, you've got another thing coming-- and while I understand great for...
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Your Opinion About Dave Is Not Your Own
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Perhaps the easiest way to happily plunge into the surveillance state is to embrace the comforting notion that your mind is not your own, be...
Some Smart Sci-Fi
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Two recommendations for sci-fi lovers: 1) if you're overly worried about the surveillance state we live in . . . or if you're not ...
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Send Lawyers, Guns, and Actors
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The Supreme Court unanimously decided that an unloaded gun is still considered a "dangerous weapon" and possession of such during...
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Poop and Food: Always Funny
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We have a bizarre half-day extended-period schedule this week due to parent/teacher conferences (otherwise known as an insane waste of preci...
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More Troubles with Detective Sean Duffy
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Though Sean Duffy is as cool as they come (especially his eclectic musical taste) he isn't is as particular as James Bond about his alc...
Would You Like Us to Assign Someone to Butter Your Muffin? Or Will You Go Shave Your Back Hair?
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A corn muffin is just an excuse to eat some butter.
Birthday Cards! Not To Be Confused With Christmas Pants . . .
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My wife and kids gave me several lovely cards for my birthday, but they paled in comparison to the cards I drew on Saturday night at Stacey&...
The Test 79: Time After Time (Travel)
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This week's episode of The Test has got it all: Knight Rider, Quantum Leap, a Spanish lesson, and plenty of time travel . . . Stac...
Little Miss Sunshine - Jokes = Logan
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I will give credit where credit is due: New Yorker film reviewer Anthony Lane came up with the Logan/Little Miss Sunshine parallel-- ...
Drama: Dave Style
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It's always been a real struggle for me to memorize anything verbatim, and so when I watch any dramatic performance, I'm always impr...
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Seuss + Dave = Birthdays
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Seuss was a man who created a cat, with a number of tricks, and a fancy top hat-- I am the man who created this blog, but I don't ...
5 comments:
The Paradox of the Socks
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Our household is now in the proud possession a teenager: Alex turned thirteen today . . . it's bizarre to have a child this old-- especi...
4 comments:
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