New Shit Has Come to Light

We were watching Goliath and someone used the phrase "crock of shit" and my older son Alex said, "what of shit?" and my wife and I said "crock" and Ian asked, "like a crock pot or like a Croc shoe?" and my wife and I said, "crock pot" but then we agreed that a Croc style clog full of shit was also an excellent thing to be full of shit, especially if you stuck your foot inside it.

The Ticks are Back in Town

The kids work outside all day on Saturdays, Catherine works on both her own garden and the community garden, and the dog and I spend plenty of time outdoors as well . . . so who knows exactly who is bringing the ticks into our house, but we are finding them-- on pants and skin and hair, and Ian-- with his especially good eyes-- spotted a minuscule one on the dog . . . the thing was so tiny it leads me to believe that resistance is futile (although I've been trying to convince the boys to shave their shaggy locks because I never have to worry about ticks on my head).

In My House, The Apple Falls Right Next to the Tree

Yesterday afternoon, I yelled up the stairs to my older son Alex, who is eighteen now, and asked him what kind of roll he wanted for his burger and he yelled back "Dad, I'm trying to take a nap!" which made perfect sense since he had worked all day for the County Parks, doing trail maintenance, and when I came back into the kitchen my wife said, "Who does that sound like?" and she laughed and laughed.

Spring is in the Air (Among Other Odors)

Lovely spring day: excellent for reading on the back deck, listening to the wind rustling through the bamboo, watching the birds alight amongst the budding trees, and smelling-- occasionally amidst the fresh scents of newly bloomed flowers-- the decaying scent of sweaty feet from the many sneakers airing out on the railing.

Thus Endeth the Streak

We finally dropped a White Division match-- after seven wins-- but I couldn't be more proud of my team; we traveled to the super-fancy private school Wardlaw Hartridge, a team that we edged out last match 3-2 because Ian beat their superb first singles player, but Wardlaw have been hot of late and they were confident at the start of the match and all of our players except second doubles went down a set and I thought we would have an early exit and a quick and painless loss-- but we had some fight in us; I was especially proud of Ian, who battled back and won the second set in a tiebreaker; then first doubles won the second set and third singles followed and we were in a match-- it was tied 1-1 with the other three matches in the third set; Ian and his kid played an amazing match to the death, really fantastic tennis-- they were whipping two-handed backhands back and forth and getting to everything, and though Ian lost there was no shame in it; then our doubles team lost, ending the streak, but Ethan came through at third singles to make the score a respectable 3-2 loss . . . and so we reload for next week, which will be wacky because of stupid AP tests, and we'll see if we can start a new winning streak (and, though we are the smallest school in the White by far, we are still atop the division).

Gametime Decision

After our marathon tennis match in the freezing wind and cold yesterday . . . and after driving a couple kids home, trying to get some food at Coco-- which was closed-- we ended up getting burritos at Crazy Burrito in Edison, a little authentic Mexican place, and I got a chorizo burrito and the kids got barbacoa-- and when we got home, at 8 PM-- so five hours from when we left the high school parking lot-- Alex and I noticed that Ian's styrofoam burrito contained had the word "goat" written on it, but rather than tell him he was eating goat (and facing the possibility that he wouldn't want to eat it, though he was cold and hungry) we kept the information to ourselves, and he wolfed down the goat without pause (I told him today and he didn't seem concerned and then we checked the menu and apparently Alex ate goat as well).

A Close One

Away match today at JFK High School in Iselin and things did not start well--our line-up was something of a mess, with a couple kids at a math competition and a couple kids just in from Georgia (DECA trip) and then our van driver took a wrong turn . . . onto the Garden State Parkway and we took a detour over the Driscoll Bridge-- but we made it on time and it was cold and very very windy and we had to get started right away and-- aside from second doubles-- we went down in all our matches; soon enough, second doubles won handily and first doubles looked to be doing well (but Boyang was very tired from the trip) but our singles players were struggling; Ethan was down a set, Ian was playing great but faced the best player in the White Division-- he was 12 - 0-- and Alex was nursing a strained hamstring and struggling; he ended up losing the first set, but then winning the second set in a tiebreaker; the same thing happened to Ethan the freshman at third singles-- then our first doubles team collapsed and lost, and there seemed to be some cheating from the opposition so the coaches had to watch-- and Alex gutted it out-- once again-- and he clobbered his kid in the third set (he basically got the kid to give up) and the match was tied 2-2 and it all came down to Ethan in a third set tiebreaker and it went back and forth back and forth in the gusty wind, past the seven point mark, to 8 - 8 and then Ethan won apoint, and-- ahead by one and pumped up beyond belief, instead of hitting his usual dinky spin serve, he tossed the ball ahead of him with a long left arm and clobbered it, and his opponent was able to get a bit of racket on it but no strings and it whipped by him into the fence . . . and there was much rejoicing (and we are 7 - 0 in our division and only have one loss on the books, to a superteam that we though we were scrimmaging but apparently the match does count, but we've got another brutal match on Friday and Alex will most likely be out with a strained hamstring).

Surviving Tuesday

Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week-- no fresh Monday energy and no end to the week in sight-- but I survived today's Tuesday without major mishap: while I did slightly screw up my Richard III/War of the Roses chart that I drew on the board (I mistakenly put a line indicating betrothal from Anne Neville, Warwick's daughter, to Henry VI instead of his son Edward . . . shame on me!) this was balanced out by the fact that my van healed itself, and the three check engine lights that were on magically turned themselves off this morning.

Billy Bob = Law?

Goliath is the weirdest, most surreal legal drama I've ever seen-- the first season seemed like it was going to be in the vicinity of Better Call Saul but each season gets more and more obtuse, philosophical, and abstract . . . my whole family loves it, for no good reason other than it's weird and Billy Bob is a lot of fun to watch, but I wonder what an actual lawyer would make of it.

Reversal!

Yesterday, I went biking and rollerblading while my wife went to the gym, then we strolled around Duke Farms and stopped at Flounder Brewing for some beer-- meanwhile, both boys were working for the county, some kind of youth trail-maintenance job-- then today I went to the gym, strolled around with the dog, etc. while Ian worked for a lady in town, smoothing out a stone driveway, and then both boys put on their zebra-stripes and went to referee flag football . . . it's a little disconcerting, it almost feels like early retirement.

Keeping On Keeping On

I worked a full day today, and I mean a full day-- not one minute off-- I covered a class and had a duty and finished Henry IV and started Hamlet . . . and then I raced home to prepare for what I believed was going to be a disastrous tennis match-- we were playing Edison, a huge school with a decent tennis program, and we were missing three starters-- Boyang and Jakob were on the DECA trip and Sapir was still in Italy-- but, as we know from Henry V: 

"The fewer men, the greater share of honor" 

and so our very depleted team took to the courts at Johnson Park and quickly fell behind; Ian was playing an athletic pusher at first singles and he couldn't figure him out; Alex was playing a hard-hitting second singles player who was nailing every shot; Ethan the freshman was playing an experienced senior at third singles; then our first doubles lost the first set in a tie-breaker, Alex got slaughtered in the first set; Ian was having a terrible time; Ethan was down but our wacky second doubles team came through and won a set; Alex decided he could run his kid to death-- not a fun way to play but a possibility-- Ethan battled back, and our first doubles won the second set . . . and then pretty much everything went our way (although it wasn't Ian's day, he couldn't figure out how to beat his kid) but everyone else battled back and won, so we managed a 4-1 victory in a match I thought was a throwaway loss, and it was all gutsy pressure-filled come-from-behind wins . . . really awesome, and after Alex won the second set in a tiebreaker and then-- with a strained hamstring-- basically ran his kid until he couldn't run any more-- he finished up, victorious, and his girlfriend Izzy did a little proposal poster with tennis puns on it (and some cupcakes that looked liked tennis balls) and it was an epic and excellent Friday afternoon, and-- in David vs. Goliath fashion-- a great win over a Group IV school . . . so we're now 6 - 0 and hanging on for dear life until everyone gets back from their various trips. 

AITA?

There's a fun thread on Reddit called "Am I the Asshole?" and if I get motivated, I'll put this situation on there:

this morning a teacher came into my room and said, "Did you cover my class yesterday?" 

I confirmed this and he said, "Did you take them for a walk?"

I also confirmed this and he got quite upset and said that now the kids had an excuse for not finishing their work and told me "not to do that again" and I kind of laughed him off, told him we went for a five-minute walk to get some fresh air (during an 82 minute period) and that the kids weren't doing the packet he left for them anyway-- I knew some of the kids in the class and they told me that the teacher was putting up the answer key at 3 PM and the stuff was just for them to study (or not, and they were choosing not) and he said that a kid emailed and said that they went for a walk and didn't have time to finish and I advised the teacher to tell that kid to screw off, as the five minute walk certainly didn't impede anyone from finishing their work but none of this seemed to make sense to him (and I believe we're encouraged to give the kids a short break in the block schedule because classes are insanely long) and while I did not take this teacher or his concerns and demands seriously, perhaps I am the asshole.

Some Real Hard Sci-fi

Tochi Onyebuchi's sci-fi novel Goliath is dense, myriad, multidimensional, Biblical, and socially relevant; it is written as a sequence of vignettes, interspersed with articles and journals and first person accounts-- it's not easy reading and I wish the font was bigger but it tackles a dystopian ecologically devastated earth from the perspective of minorities in a way I've never read before, so while it certainly wasn't as fun as The Expanse novels, it's a more profound look at what's going to happen to those left behind.

Is It Spring Yet?

Chilly match this morning in South Plainfield but I had the bright idea of moving the start time from 9 AM to 10 AM-- which didn't help a bit-- but we managed another 3-2 win . . . I don't think there are going to be any easy matches this season in the White Division; Alex struggled with my racket (he cracked his last week) but Ian had a nice win at first singles, though his leg started bothering him at the very end of the match; they only had four courts and we won three of the four so second doubles played tiebreaker sets (10 points) and though our guys lost, I think in a real match they would have won, so that bodes well for next time . . . anyway, we remain undefeated, though we have a pending loss when we finish the Metuchen match where Ian was hurt, but DECA is looming.

TV is Good When You are Sore

My core is still sore from the yoga class yesterday-- so I'm doing lots of TV . . . as it is the last days of my Spring Break; Cat and I are binging Mare of Easttown-- I shouldn't complain about a sore core after watching that show, so many tragedies and Kate Winslet is so good at portraying them; we are watching the trippy third season of Goliath as a family; I am watching old Atlanta episodes with Ian, and I watched the new Atlanta episode with Alex.

Dogs Are Smart (People Too)

This morning, when Lola and I arrived home from our morning constitutional, I had forgotten that we left through the back and so the front door was still locked; normally I don't realize this error until I've undone her leash and I say "backyard!" and she runs around the house to the backyard, but this morning, when she heard me pull the front door and it didn't open, she ran around to the backyard before I even told her to-- pretty clever for someone who can't discern her reflection from another dog-- and I was pretty smart this morning, too-- I went to an hour yoga/pilates class with my wife and I learned that not only do I need to get more flexible but also that my core ain't up to snuff either (and I also learned that when you spend two hours at the gym and then get lost going to the bagel place afterward, that though you think you can eat an everything bagel with cream cheese and a biali and egg sandwich, that's really not possible).

Oof

Overserved myself last night-- we began pub night at the Beamsdorfer, looking at some oil paintings of the Raritan done by Sleepy Dan's friend when she stayed at his house for a month-- and there were drinks and wine and appetizers, and there was a free keg for all the friends of Erik P. at Pino's but, unfortunately, the beer was some kind of delicious super-strong Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale (8.2%) and it did me in (but not before we did a bunch of one-legged balancing tricks, to the chagrin of the bartenders-- old people shouldn't get that wound up.

The First Rule About First Singles . . .

My son Ian had the match of his life Tuesday, got hurt Wednesday, and got to sit out and watch his brother play first singles Thursday . . . and when his brother got slaughtered by a very nice excellent player, Ian got to say: " you see what I have to deal with at first singles?"

A Win and a Loss

Despite a wacky line-up, we cruised to an easy 4-1 victory over Spotswood, and we remain undefeated-- Boyang had to play doubles because of his gimpy leg and Ian had to bow out of a great first singles match because he pulled something behind his calf; he had battled back against an excellent player, using the moonball as a frustrating tactic, and was ahead in the tiebreaker when he pulled the muscle . . . it's a long season and we had the match wrapped up, so he wisely stopped playing-- last season, Ian beat this kid twice, but both were close matches and ended with the Spotswood kid bowing out due to injury-- and we're supposed to have another match tomorrow and we are banged up and missing players-- so I am doing the rain dance and hoping for an Easter resurrection of all my players.

Still Undefeated! But Defeated at Scheduling . . .

Holy cow . . . no one told me about the insane scheduling that's involved with tennis-- tennis players are involved with EVERYTHING . . . DECA trips and concert choir and robotics and orchestra and Environmental Club and internships-- we're piecing a team together each and every match (until after this weird separated Spring Breaks . . . when all the schools have different Spring Breaks, then no one has a Spring Break) but we salvaged a big win today over rival Wardlaw-Hartridge (who beat us twice last year) and both our doubles teams won (and Sapir and Michael won quickly enough that Sapir could make his orthodontist appointment! a great moment in sports) and Boyang cramped up again but I used this fact to motivate our second doubles team-- I told them they had to win quickly because that would cement our victory and we could pull Boyang off the court-- and they did it!-- and Ian played the match of his life at first singles and beat an excellent player 6-3, 6-4 . . . the highest rated player he's ever beaten and so now we are 2-0 but we've got a long couple weeks ahead of us and we're never going to be at full strength (and I think Boyang is going to have to play doubles tomorrow because of his leg).