Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Knoebels > Disneyworld
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Another ringing endorsement for Knoebels Amusement Park , and that's impressive-- considering that I hate amusement parks -- but a d...
7 comments:
A Man Must Negotiate
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Perhaps part of the reason cars are so over-priced at the dealer is because the dealers know that people come in expecting to negotiate and ...
It's Not Like I'm Letting My Seven Year Old Smoke Cigarettes
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Last week, while I was biking with my dog , a woman in jogging attire, with a poorly behaved poodle, yelled to me, "You know, that'...
2 comments:
Voracious Packing
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Now that I own a minivan, packing for the beach is an episode in gluttony, nothing is too big or useless to bring . . . it's like eating...
2 comments:
Yet Another Miraculous Coincidence (With Noodles)
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I mentioned Noodle Gourmet-- the hole-in-the-wall Hong Kong style noodle joint on Easton Avenue in New Brunswick that I often frequent for l...
6 comments:
They Blew Up the Chicken Man in Albuquerque Last Season
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My wife and I finally finished Season 4 of Breaking Bad, and the parting shot of the poisonous Lily of the Valley plant in Walt's ya...
2 comments:
Instead of Web- Surfing, They Should Call It Web-Driving
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Ask someone if they are an above-average driver and they will almost definitely say yes-- and that's why it's difficult to ride shot...
4 comments:
A Circuitous Journey
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A few weeks ago, I picked up the new Geoff Dyer book at my local library-- and because I really like Dyer's writing, I wasn't disc...
4 comments:
I Come To The End of Two Significant Nineteen Year Relationships on the Same Day
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My mother-in-law passed away last night after a long battle with cancer-- and while it was very sad, she went on her own terms, peacefully, ...
6 comments:
A Fan's Notes on A Fan's Notes
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Frederick Exley's fictional memoir A Fan's Notes is The Catcher in the Rye for sporting types . . . Exley is a grown-up Holden ...
7 comments:
Camping Is More Fun If You Stay In a Hotel With Air-Conditioning
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There is a feeling of triumph for a father when he brings his children back from a camping trip, alive and uninjured (but, ironically, despi...
2 comments:
Hey Lolailo! Do You Really Need To Be That Specific?
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The Lolailo Sangria label provides some concise and definitive instructions on when to use their "refreshing wine product with natur...
2 comments:
Little Black Rubber Pellets Must Multiply Like Tribbles
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If everyone that plays on the artificial turf field brings home as many black little rubber pellets in their shoes as I bring home, then how...
4 comments:
Winter is NOT Coming
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It hasn't snowed around here since Halloween.
Pink Floyd Should Have Robbed Banks
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While I can bring to mind the countenance of any member of The Beatles or The Who or The Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin, when a friend chall...
3 comments:
Better To Get It All Over On The Same Night
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My wife and I are lucky that our children are fantastic sleepers, rarely waking up in the night-- and though this occasionally results in a ...
It's Not Just Me
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Before this year's graduation ceremony, while I was milling around with the other educators, I posed this Final Jeopardy! question and ...
More Danger!
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The cougars are coming . . . but what happened to the killer bees?
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Danger!
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Never, ever ever eat home-made sausage, because once you do, you will never be able to go back to the store bought stuff . . . and so now I ...
Six Pounds of You Isn't You
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Researchers have recently mapped 99 percent of the approximately 10,000 types of microbes that populate our bodies . . . 100 trillion bact...
5 comments:
Bonus Post For Dog Lovers At G:TB!
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If you dig dogs, then head over to Gheorghe: The Blog for a special "Summer Dave" pet post that also includes original photograp...
I am 60% Through the Ripliad . . . How Far Are You?
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I just finished the third novel in Patricia Highsmith's Tom Ripley series . . . Ripley's Game is more of the same as far as the...
1 comment:
Physics Exclusive at G:TB!
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Science buffs are probably aware that physicists at CERN glimpsed the elusive Higgs Boson yesterday, but you might not know that I scored an...
Will This Happen Someday Soon?
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At the end of a day at the pool, not only do I not want to have to tell my kids to take a shower, but once I get them in there, doing what t...
Iberian Unity
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Catherine and I made another soccer pilgrimage to The Madrid and Lisbon Bar and Restaurant , and we learned a few things that I'd l...
Is This Really Better Than Dead Air?
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I wouldn't want to be a soccer announcer because there is a lot of space to fill . . . check out The Simpsons take on this in the ab...
Plumbing The Depths of Irony
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So if you find yourself at the Plumbing Supply Store (because Home Depot doesn't carry any parts for one piece toilets) and you ask for ...
2 comments:
Miracles On Top of More Miracles
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All week, I had the nagging feeling that I was missing something-- but I couldn't put my finger on what it was-- and then Thursday morni...
2 comments:
Yet Another Miracle
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In preparation for summer, Catherine depilated my back and shoulder hair with Veet hair removal cream and then I used my beard trimmer to ta...
Bomp Chukka Bomp . . . A Bicycle?
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The music in the Canadian documentary series How It's Made is decidedly pornographic sounding, and-- oddly-- this fits the content ...
5 comments:
You Get The Ads You Deserve
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The final lesson in Michael J. Sandel's book What Money Can't Buy: The Moral Limits of Markets is that although a "fire hydran...
4 comments:
Spearguns Aren't As Dangerous As You Think!
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If you were wondering if it's okay to allow your children to play with spearguns, the answer is: go for it! . . . because even if you...
Costa Chica!
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In contrast to the all-encompassing logic of yesterday's post, today I will give some exceedingly specific and local advice: if you l...
All Encompassing Logic
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Some people believe Everything Happens For A Reason , but other people are annoyed by this philosophy-- so if you'd like, you can buy a...
4 comments:
Into The Wild With Condoms
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Cheryl Strayed's new memoir Wild: From Lost To Found On the Pacific Coast Trail is the female version of Into the Wild , John Kraka...
If You're Rich, You Can Shoot A Walrus
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Michael Sandel examines the inevitable corruption of ethics in a society where market mentality is pervasive in his new book What Money C...
2 comments:
Commencement Anxiety
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The high school where I teach holds their graduation ceremony down in Trenton, at the Sun National Bank Center, and every year I forget how ...
The Best Present of All: Gluttony
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I ate three chocolate croissants for dessert on Father's Day.
5 comments:
It's Not Like I'm Trying To Be A Gymnast
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So for those of you anxiously awaiting my decision regarding the Trilemma of Dave , I actually rested my injured knee, and I have been wea...
3 comments:
I Neglect My Family for the Good of the Blog
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My wife had the audacity to suggest that I ought to have gone grocery shopping yesterday afternoon, instead of taking my paddleboard out...
8 comments:
Bonus Update: Urban Paddleboarding Emergency! (A Ridiculous Riparian Adventure in Real Time)
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I took my stand-up paddleboard out on the Raritan this afternoon-- it's a dirty river, but the boat launch is only a couple hundred y...
8 comments:
There Is More Than One Female Singer Hailing From Canada
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A few days ago the Final Jeopardy! answer was "THE BESTSELLING ALBUM OF ALL TIME BY A FEMALE IS A 20 MILLION SELLER BY THIS WOMAN WHO S...
5 comments:
Motivation
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Running before work is risky, because if you get tired or injured miles from home, you've still got to get back in time to teach first p...
I Am A Coward When It Comes To Loud Noises
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Blowing up a balloon is kind of scary . . . there's no pressure meter to tell you when to stop.
The Times They Are a-Chargin
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I carry cash, and associate this with being a man-- a man should have some green in his wallet, so he can pay quickly and fluidly, without a...
My Dog Gets Treats But My Children Do Not
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My dog bolted one time and learned his lesson . . . so last weekend when he popped loose from his collar, next to a busy road, and I told h...
Someone Needs To Calibrate This Stuff!
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While the "super" setting on my window fan is hardly that , the "medium spicy" setting at our local Thai restaurant is a...
2 comments:
How To Use The Self-Checkout Kiosk At the Library
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They have a new self-checkout kiosk at the library, so you can borrow a book without having to undergo the scrutiny of the librarian . . . n...
3 comments:
Get Real, Duracraft
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I think the "low" and "high" settings on my Duracraft window fan are accurate, but I'm not sure if the "sup...
1 comment:
Anyone Feel Like Drawing This?
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Here's a cartoon idea that is too difficult for me to draw: Samuel Jackson is waiting in line at the airport security check, and ther...
2 comments:
Don't They Have Levitating Magnetic Bullet Trains in Japan?
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You'd think the recent explosion in digital technology would have rubbed off on public transport, but train conductors are still punchin...
4 comments:
A Drink Hooper Would Enjoy
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During my trip to see the collegiate sevens rugby tournament, we impressed a school bus driver into our service and tried to get her to t...
It's Hard To Look Menacing On A Scooter
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I was walking through the park and I saw a couple of teenagers that looked like trouble-- black ski hats pulled low-- despite the warm we...
5 comments:
Unfortunately, The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
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Of my two sons, Alex reminds me more of myself -- impulsive, talkative, and just shy of smart . . . in college, my friends called me "t...
2 comments:
The Beach Is A Good Idea
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One of man's greatest inventions-- and I'm not being sexist here, as I am pretty sure that it was a man that designed the bikini...
9 comments:
My Dog Is Like A Dog But I Am Like A Cat
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Let me preface this by saying that my dog Sirius is a good dog , but sometimes good dogs do bad things . . . especially if there is a bunny...
6 comments:
Loss of Essence
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Trying to teach with laryngitis is like being a super-hero with no super-powers.
3 comments:
Sometimes It's Best Not to Know
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We had an "energy assessment" done on our house, and apparently it's a big sieve with an ancient leaking furnace underneath it...
It's Not Like I Know What A Hoosier Is
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I wish I liked hockey, but I just can't muster up any interest in the Stanley Cup Finals . . . but I am interested in how many people th...
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Redefining the Terms
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According to Paul Krugman, in his book The Conscience of a Liberal , I should define myself as a "conservative"-- because liberals...
3 comments:
The Avengers Are Not As Super As My Wife
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The Avengers is certainly action-packed, but the heroes are too super for me . . . when the characters are invincible, there's not m...
2 comments:
The Great Political Paradox
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The great mystery in politics is why anyone poor or lower middle class would vote against their own interests-- against social services and ...
6 comments:
My Sixth Grade Teacher Was Passive Agressive AF
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I found my sixth grade "yearbook" and this is what my teacher-- who will remain nameless for her own protection-- wrote to me . . ...
Sometimes Technology Doesn't Improve Things
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Art History in Two Pictures I've got a scanner and I am determined to use it . . . sorry . . . maybe it's just a phase th...
1 comment:
Rimshot
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I had pizza last night, but I'm not going to tell you anything about it . . . it was personal.
Confessions of a Lazy Man
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I've finally gotten my new printer/scanner hooked up (check out my six year old son Ian's abstract art-- he could give Marla Olm...
4 comments:
A Fun and Easy Way To Spice Up Your Diction
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I learned a technique from a student last week that might be Generation Y's greatest contribution to our culture-- it's not age excl...
7 comments:
Next Time I Will Hire Someone
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I'll build a bike shed under the deck , I thought, all I need to do is level out the dirt under there . . . just go under the deck and ...
5 comments:
Old School
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There is no question that the world has changed drastically since I was a kid, but some things never change: last week, my son Alex got i...
My Son Ian Says The Right Thing (But Probably For the Wrong Reasons)
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Last week, my two sons and I were walking on the Asbury Park boardwalk, in search of a video arcade, and my son Alex said, "I would do ...
Exciting Technological Times
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I am excited to announce that we have a new printer/scanner (but I am loath to admit that it is still inside the box it was delivered in . ...
3 comments:
City of Bohane
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Even though it meets my definition of true science-fiction , I gave up on Irishman Kevin Barry's new novel City of Bohane , but I did li...
3 comments:
Canine Economic Boost
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Now that we have a dog, our consumption of duct tape has gone way up.
3 comments:
Don't Monkey With the Monkey
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Sometimes you've got to shock the monkey . . . unless you actually are a monkey . . . then you are far less likely to shock a fellow...
I Am a Man (and so Is Connell)
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My wife and I went out with our friends in Asbury Park last weekend, and if you haven't been there recently, you are in for a surprise--...
4 comments:
Children of the Carp
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I was walking the dog last weekend through Donaldson Park, and it was foggy and drizzling slightly, and as we passed the little pond next to...
Diamonds Are a Girl's Worst Nightmare
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My friend Stacy showed up to work last Friday with a big cut on her forehead, and I asked her how this happened and she said she scratched h...
6 comments:
Tick Streak!
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Business as usual around here, as far as minor miracles -- this time it's a Tick Streak, and while I'm not closing in on Dimaggio...
2 comments:
Oops . . .
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My wife was fishing for a compliment about her use of proper English-- at my behest, she's been instructing our dog to "lie down&qu...
The Waitresses Might Know What Boys Like, But I Know What Teachers and Coaches Like . . .
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I have been a coach and a teacher for many years and this is the deal: on the playing field, we want girls to act more like boys . . . while...
5 comments:
How To Get A Beautiful Young Stranger Into Your Kitchen
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So last weekend there was a beautiful twenty-five year old girl in my kitchen-- she was blonde, blue-eyed, taller than me, wearing next to n...
3 comments:
Question of Culpability
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Once again, I've got a legal question for all the litigators out there: if someone working for Jan's Boutique places a glossy P...
4 comments:
Trilemma of Dave
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I read to encounter new stories, new ideas, and new words, and I found all of these in Paul Krugman's The Return of Depression Econom...
Three Reasons Dave Will Be Remembered For Eternity
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In no particular order, here are my three greatest contributions to society: 1) The "Don't Eat It" Psychological Mind Trick ...
7 comments:
Take Shelter is a Movie, Not A Rolling Stones Song!
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Take Shelter-- an excellent film which I will sadly admit that I referred to as "Gimme Shelter" on several occasions-- is wel...
3 comments:
No Country For Old Sissies
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I was discussing my mother-in-law's various medical problems with one of her friends, and she offered me this aphoristic gem, which she ...
Jersey's Finest
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New Jersey has the best pizza in the world, the fattest governor in the world, and the best surrealist-post-modern hyperkinetic meta-fic...
9 comments:
The Scream is so 90's . . . 1890's
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Some lunatic paid 119.9 million dollars for Edward Munch's "The Scream" last night, and I don't think that's a very...
6 comments:
Michael Chiklis and Andrew Strong are the Same Person
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The proof is in the pudding: Andrew Strong never made a guest appearance on The Shield , and Vic Mackey never breaks into song after h...
1 comment:
Some Good Movies and TV You May Not Have Seen #6
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Watching video of something extinct is poignant, nostalgic, and sad . . . but the knowledge of the subject's impending demise imbues t...
5 comments:
Cryptonomicon
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I finally finished Neal Stephenson's 915 page tour de force of a novel Cryptonomicon, and a number of superlatives are appropriate: ...
3 comments:
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