The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Diamonds Are a Girl's Worst Nightmare
My friend Stacy showed up to work last Friday with a big cut on her forehead, and I asked her how this happened and she said she scratched herself while she was sleeping, but after further interrogation I discovered that she scratched herself with her diamond engagement ring, and that she wears the ring while she sleeps . . . and this practice is shocking to me-- to go to bed with a sharp object made of the hardest stuff on the planet attached to your finger-- but apparently a lot of women do this (but not my wife, so this sentence is truly altruistic) and so once again I am giving a free idea to whatever entrepreneur happens upon this desolate corner of the internet . . . these compulsive ring-wearing women need "ring covers" . . . soft little Velcro wrappers that can attach to a ring, kind of like a grill cover, and thus prevent them ring doing any damage to the wearer during sleep (better yet would be to abandon this crazy practice of strip-mining stones from the ground and presenting to women as a symbol of love, a symbol loaded with financial implications-- but I doubt that's going to happen any time soon).
I abandoned this crazy practice.
ReplyDeleteyou don't wear a diamond ring to bed?
ReplyDeleteNo, and neither does zwoman because she doesn't have one.
ReplyDeleteyou are my hero.
ReplyDeletedid you ever know that you're my hero?
ReplyDeleteI did not. I always assumed that the wind beneath your wings was generated from sausage and peppers.
ReplyDelete