A Fun and Easy Way To Spice Up Your Diction

I learned a technique from a student last week that might be Generation Y's greatest contribution to our culture-- it's not age exclusive, it's more entertaining than Facebook and Lady gaga combined, and it's easy to learn but difficult to master . . . so here it is: you add the acronym "AF" to any statement that would benefit from the additional modifying phrase "as fuck," but by using the acronym, you avoid the profanity and still get your point across . . . and make yourself feel better to boot (although I'm not sure if it has the same effect on pain as actually swearing) because nothing relieves stress like an expletive . . . here are a few examples to get you started:

1) it's humid AF in here . . . I used this one yesterday in class yesterday when my knees started sweating and my pants reflected this . . . really gross . . .

2) it's hot AF in here . . . complementary to #1 and a set-up for #5

2) you're late AF . . . also wonderful to use in class . . .

3) that was rude AF . . . useful in class and all of New Jersey . . .

4) I am hot AF . . . use this immediately after #1 and #2, especially if your pants have knee-sweat stains, and you're sure to get a laugh from teenagers.
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7 comments:

  1. zmanMay 24, 2012 at 9:05 AM

    Knee sweat? Really? I am one of the sweatiest bastards I know but I don't recall my knees ever generating sufficient sweat to bleed through my pants.

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  2. SqueakyMay 24, 2012 at 9:06 AM

    That's a long AF sentence.

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  3. ClarenceMay 24, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    Our gay friend said that he and his friends do the same, but AF means "Ass Fuck". I am kind of hoping for a scenario where Dave uses it in front of the wrong guy and then thanks his lucky stars that his knees sweat so much because otherwise the rug burns would be brutal.

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  4. DaveMay 24, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    you can't just add the phrase "ass fuck" to any statement. not that there's anythign wrong with that. i think this "gay friend" of yours might be fictitious . . .

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  5. zmanMay 24, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    Sentence #4 above could lead to an interesting situation given AF's duality.

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  6. zmanMay 24, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    It's about the duality of man, sir.

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  7. ClarenceMay 24, 2012 at 6:53 PM

    You can't add as fuck to any statement, either. There's no mayonnaise on my sandwich as fuck makes no sense. Dave has a part in the play as fuck is confusing. I went to church today as fuck is ridiculous and blasphemous.

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