Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
I Am So Smart! Or At Least I Was For One Brief Shining Moment . . .
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During our inspirational start-of-the-school-year workshop, which took place in a dark, damp, sweltering room stuffed with English teachers,...
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This Snake IS a Plane
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Saturday morning we snaked our way along the Northeast Corridor and under the Hudson River and then North and West on the Blue Line in or...
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Cop? Cop. Cop? Cop? Can? Can. Can? Can.
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The boys and I were fishing at the river, and we saw a guy with an impressive rig setting up along the bank, and I asked him what he was fis...
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Bonus Post at G:TB: Yes, Even You Can Attain the New Cool
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If you've got some time to kill and feel like "reading" a visual essay (it's a bunch of YouTube clips and pictures flimsil...
What Have the Romans Done For Us?
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Cultural Amnesia: Necessary Memories from History and the Arts , by Australian critic Clive James, is a comprehensive guide to art, politi...
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Feeling Happy? Watch This.
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Robert Greenwald's documentary Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price is depressing in such a globally mind-blowing way that it almost evo...
Late Start
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I wish Sentence of Dave covered my entire life because it's gotten to the point where if I can't search and find an incident on the...
Beach Reading?
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I ambitiously packed two weighty tomes for our week long trip to the beach: The Recognitions by William Gaddis, which-- though I've re...
First Things First
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The last night of our beach vacation, we took the kids on a ghost crab hunt, and before we went I told them a spooky tale to set the mood . ...
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Just When I Thought It Was Safe . . .
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Just when I thought it was safe to go to the beach . . . safe to sit down and read my book or chat with other adults or skim-board a bit or ...
A Hard Habit to Break
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One of the purposes of this blog is to foster and promote human rights across the globe, and so I must implore any of my readers that are wi...
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I Do Not Heed My Own Advice
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Recently, I advised my readers that it is easier to invite everyone , but then, while on vacation at the beach, I neglected to follow this ...
Am I Liable? Or Just Unreliable?
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I've just walked out of the ocean with my son Ian, and I'm looking up the beach to where my other son Alex is sitting, wrapped in a...
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Modern Life: An Aphorism
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There is magnificent irony in searching for the best parking spot at the gym.
That Was Easy
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I locked myself out last week because I reminded my mother-in-law to be more vigilant about locking the side door that leads to her apartmen...
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You're Telling ME to Wear Sneakers?
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So I walk into LA Fitness and the mousy girl working the desk-- if she had handles I could have dead-lifted her-- tells me I can't wo...
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A Short Review for a Long Movie
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Avatar is a Disney movie for adults: thematically simple, visually stunning, full of melodramatic cheesy music which nearly ruins the entir...
Live From Sea Isle City . . . Another Embarrassing Moment in a Long Line of Them
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Sunday night we went to see LeCompt, the best bar band in the universe, at the Springfield Inn, the best dive bar in the universe (cash onl...
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Alex: 1 Dad: 0
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While I was in the midst of one of my typical anti-Halloween diatribes, my wife sided with the boys and reminded me that I liked trick-or-tr...
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A Prison Film More Thought Provoking Than The Longest Yard
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Jacques Audiard's movie A Prophet makes you work as hard as the Malik-- the Arab the protagonist-- who is thrown in jail at the start o...
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Feeling Happy? Here's The Cure.
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If you're feeling really happy . . . too happy for your own good, then you might want to read the graphic novel Waltz with Bashir: A Leb...
Summer Can't Last Forever . . . Or Not In My House
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I must remember to wake up early . . . I must remember to wake up early . . . because if I don't . . . if I get up when everyone else ge...
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Communication: Második rész
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Now that there are so many myriad ways to communicate with fellow humans, you need to know which method each person prefers-- some people on...
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Communications Shakedown
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Several members of my family have a long history of calling and leaving messages on our answering machine that contain no specific informati...
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I Review a New Apple Product: The iGod Touched
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My metamorphosis is complete, I am an Apple convert . . . read my product review of the new iGod Touched over at Gheorghe: The Blog . . . ...
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Jeff from Curb is Funny
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During a round of golf, Larry's agent Jeff Greene angrily counsels Larry's dopey cousin on how much information you should divulge ...
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8/16/10 It's Easier to Invite Everyone . . .
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Larry David did an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" about the awkwardness of the invitation: Larry can't mention that he...
8/15/10 Some Movies Are 3-D!
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I took the kids to the 11:05 matinee the other day and it cost twenty seven dollars, which I thought was outrageous, until they handed me a ...
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Bonus Post at Gheorghe: The Blog
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I found an excellent essay about world class athletes at kottke.org and I wrote a response over at G:TB . . . if you have time to read se...
Sadly, The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree
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We went camping with old friends in Vermont last weekend and it was like driving to Fall . . . it was COLD at night (low forties) so we ...
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8/13/10 An Invention Just for You . . . You're Welcome!
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I don't do charity work for the homeless or volunteer at the local food pantry, but I do consider this blog and the ideas that I give th...
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8/12/10 A Comedic Epiphany
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This sounds impossible, but my son Ian figured out how to "fart with his neck," as he so eloquently phrased it . . . he raises his...
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A Fishy Meal
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A few weeks ago, we were eating cod from Costco-- each fillet is frozen in its own plastic pouch-- when Catherine discovered a long pink wor...
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8/10/10 A Horticultural Surprise
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It's rare that something actually lives up to its expectations, but my wife's butterfly bush almost always has a butterfly on it.
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8/9/10 Nap Etiquette
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I waited until the air-conditioning repair guys went to lunch before I took a nap on the couch; it's embarrassing to sleep in the daytim...
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Huey, Willie, and Bill
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The classic novel All the King's Men , by Robert Penn Warren, is ostensibly the fictionalized story of Huey Long , the amoral populi...
8/7/10 Are You Average?
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The average Facebook user has 130 friends . . . but how many of these people would you lend money to . . . or invite to a party at your hous...
8/6/10 Larry David is Funny
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Two throwaway bits from the first episode of Season 7 of Curb Your Enthusiasm that I loved: 1) Larry calls the apricot a "low percenta...
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8/5/10 A Political Thought Experiment
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If we could divide our nation into two, and all the Red State Conservatives lived on one side and the Blue State Liberals lived on the other...
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Just Say Your Sorry!
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Another tip from social scientist Dan Ariely: saying "sorry" really does have a beneficial effect . . . Ariely proved this by s...
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Bonus at Gheorghe:The Blog . . . The Internet is for Corn-Hole
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If you want to learn more about corn-hole performance during Outer Banks Fishing Trip XXVII, check this post out . . . you will also learn ...
OBFT XVII
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Highlights (and lowlights) of the Outer Banks Fishing Trip XXVII . . . worst water ever, cold and full of sea lice and jellyfish, which led...
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Bonus : A Pertinent SNL Skit
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Here is a related SNL skit (thanks to Greg) that is almost as funny as the last sentence: "How Much Ya Bench."
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8/2/10 This Won't Help What People Think Of New Jersey
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My friend Bruce runs Kittyhawk Kites down on the Outer Banks, and he often teaches hang-gliding lessons at Jockey's Ridge, and this was ...
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8/1/10 Family Life: A Portrait
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A snapshot of our family life: my lovely wife agreed to sugar-wax the disgusting patches of hair off my back, which really hurt, so my youn...
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7/31/10 A Metaphor for a Large Dead Jellyfish
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I followed a link about a " large dead jellyfish " that my friend sent out on Twitter-- I am a sucker for that sort of thing-- an...
7/30/10 A Musical Analogy
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Brent Mason's instrumental "Hotwired" is the country analogue to Eddie Van Halen's "Eruption."
Ouch!
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Last week I used the gift certificate my brother gave me for a massage-- it wasn't at the usual Asian place I go to, instead I went to a...
Spandex: Pros and Cons
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These are the pros of wearing spandex under your shorts during a run on the beach: 1) no chafing 2) when you're finished running, you ca...
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Bonus at Gheorghe: The Blog!
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I've just created a new Oscar category over at Gheorghe: The Blog . . . if you've got the time, check it out.
7/27/10 An Antagonistic Encounter with a NAVY Seal . . . or maybe not.
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After dinner, I was waiting outside a sushi place with a friend when an SUV whipped around the corner of the parking lot and nearly hit a mi...
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Bonus Explanation!
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I was out late last night and very hungover when I wrote this morning's sentence, so it doesn't make much sense but I've tried t...
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A Rock and Roll Coincidence
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I won't wax poetically about the inimitable LeCompt , as I've already given them enough praise (I believe I've called them t...
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7/25/10 Everyone is Hot!
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Dan Ariely used data from the website Hot or Not to see if people who were "aesthetically challenged" actually had different stan...
This is Scary
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One more idea from The Upside of Irrationality (sorry) that I can't stop thinking about-- this is an explanation of emotions and their ...
A Psychological Tactic
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This tactic is from Dan Ariely's new book The Upside of Irrationality : The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic at Work and at Home an...
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7/22/10 Ask the Oil Spill
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Head over to Gheorghe: The Blog to hear what the BP oil spill has to say for itself . . . you won't regret it.
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7/21/10 A Poll About Coffee
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My wife wants me to poll ten people and see if they know that Taster's Choice is instant coffee . . . I did NOT know this and the other...
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7/20/10 The David Blaine
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In their hit "Crank Dat," Soulja Boy introduced me to the "superman," a sexual technique you might like to try with yo...
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What The $%#$ Is The Matter With Kansas?
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In his book What's the Matter With Kansas: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America, Thomas Frank explains the nifty trick conserva...
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Malleable Friends
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Adam Elliott's charming but dark (both in color and theme) claymation masterpiece Mary and Max will definitely make you laugh and may...
7/17/10 The New (and Improved) Sherlock Holmes?
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Guy Ritchie's new Sherlock Holmes is entertaining as an action movie, and it also works as a super-hero buddy flick (complete with homo...
7/16/10 Mapplethorpe meets Reagonomics
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Sometimes Adam Smith's "invisible" hand forms a fist and shoves itself where the sun of capitalism never shines.
Wrong Book For The Setting
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You probably don't want to be reading Jon Jeter's book Flat Broke in the Free Market: How Globalization Fleeced the Working People ...
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7/14/10 A Warning
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It is scary to think you might end up like your parents, but it is even scarier to think that you already are like your parents-- you just ...
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7/13/10 A Literary Analogy
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I Read Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night while I was on vacation and I liked it much better than The Great Gatsby , and the best way to ...
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I'm Back! And Dumber Than Ever!
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I inadvertently made my wife quit caffeine cold turkey on our vacation last week, although she did not know she was quitting . . . here is h...
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7/11/10
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My brother found it extremely amusing that my father, slightly overwhelmed by the expansive menu at Aroma (a delicious Thai restaurant) ask...
7/10/10
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Fooled you again . . . I'm sure I didn't step foot inside the Chatham Library all vacation . . . I'm probably collecting shells ...
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7/9/10
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Just kidding about yesterday's sentence . . . I wrote it at the Chatham Library, a lovely red brick pile set back from main street and f...
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7/8/10
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I am on vacation in Cape Cod right now, and I have no access to a computer . . . so I am writing this sentence with my mind-- I am letting m...
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A Sentence Where The Title of the Sentence is Longer than the Sentence Itself (But Not as Long a Title as a "Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening")
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Last night, I dreamed I came face to face with a mountain lion.
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7/6/10
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It's sad when you try to take your children to your childhood bait and tackle shop, and in its place you find a new business called NJ B...
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7/5/10 The World Cup Causes Me Trouble: A One Sentence Memoir
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Though I had an extremely long day of World Cup Imbibing (10 AM to Midnight) the day before Ian's kiddie birthday party, I thought I rec...
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7/4/10
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So we put our digital camera on a tripod the other day and made a stop motion Lego movie . . . the plot was very simple: two cars drove a...
7/3/10
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It is 8:30 AM and the boys and I are returning from the park, and Alex is talking a mile a minute about his remote controlled car, and Ian i...
7/2/10
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Freedom is when your wife tells you exactly what to do.
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A Really LONG Sentence About a Really BIG SHORT
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I just finished the new Michael Lewis book, The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine , and I've probably got a three day window to e...
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