The EBHS end-of-they-year party is fast approaching and Kristyn and I have to defend our hard-won cornhole tournament title . . . the bag-tossing competition is fierce but the competition for clever team names is lame-- people usually go with cliche monikers like "The Cornholios"-- but I wanted our team to have a more creative and unique title . . . so I asked Bard AI for some cornhole team names and, sadly, I got a bunch of bullshit . . . stuff like this:
--Corn on the Cobb--The Kernels of Truth
--The Maize-ing Masters
--The Cornhole Ninjas
--The Bean Bag Bandits
so I told Bard I needed even funnier names and the AI gave me:
--The Cornhole Whisperers--The Cornhole Crüe
--The Cornhole Mafia
--The Cornhole Jedi
-- The Cornhole Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
so then I tried to think of some clever names all by myself, but everything that I thought of was filthy and this is a school-sanctioned event and you have to put the team name on a Google Sheet, so I didn't want to incriminate myself . . . I was thinking of genital-themed stuff along the lines of "One Bag, One Hole," because Kristyn takes a lot of shit from the men (making our victory all the more sweet) and also basic and filthy names like "Jam it in the Hole" but then I got the other English teachers working on the project-- Stacey, Terry, Denise, Eric-- and we spent a good 45 minutes brainstorming every possible pun . . . first Stacey and I worked out the actual math for "One Sack, One Hole" and we determined that between the two of us, the proper name should be "One Sack, Fifteen Holes" . . . don't ask how we figured it out . . . and here are some of the other names that surfaced during this session:
--Sack-religious
--Sack-a-jawea
--The Holy Shots
-- Stuff it in the Hole, Shoot it in the Hole, Put it in the Hole, etcetera
--The English Tossers, The Underhanded Tossers
--Lick My Cornhole, The Money Shots, Flaming Ring of Cornhole, Fire in the Cornhole
--Bilbo Baggins
--Sack Up
--The EB Sack Exchange
and in the end, Terry went the Onanistic route and chose "The English Tossers" and I went the very obtuse, very annoying route and chose a name only the history teachers will appreciate: "The Visigoths" . . . the Visigoths are the barbarians who sacked Rome for three days in 410 AD . . . I think "Three Day Sack" is also a good name, but not as irritating as "The Visigoths" . . . and the English department definitely defeats AI in clever cornhole team naming . . . for now.
2 comments:
Nobody did Board of Education? Hmmm.
ooh . . . i like that!
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