Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Unpacking VERY Slowly (A Follow Up To Yesterday's Stupid Question)
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After a vacation, instead of unpacking one's luggage, is it acceptable to leave the piece of luggage on the bedroom floor and simply tak...
Probably Not As Long As I Left It Up There
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How many days after you return from vacation are you allowed to leave the big sack full of beach stuff attached to the roof of the car?
Breaking Meta-News!
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The New York Times claims that 1/3 of all "consumer" reviews of books and other products found on the Internet are fabricated, whe...
1 comment:
Glad That's Over With
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I finished the fourth George R.R. Martin book in his epic A Song of Ice and Fire series, and all I can say about A Feast For Crows is t...
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I'm Actually Black And I'm Proud
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Hustle and Flow is the ghetto version of The Commitments .
Cow or Cat?
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As we were walking home from The Dish Cafe, my son Ian spied a strange creature posing on a stoop-- and so he asked, "Is that a cow ...
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OBFT XIX
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The 19th Annual Outer Banks Fishing Trip went off without a hitch, and a big thanks to Whitney for putting us up and putting up with us for ...
A Man With A Beard Is More Of A Man Than Me (But That's Not Saying Much)
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I don't know how men with beards got over the IT ITCHES! hump.
Alfred Hitchcock Was Right!
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A presumptuous seagull swooped down and yanked a Blueberry Belvita Breakfast Biscuit right out of Lynn's hand while she was chatting wit...
LeCompt Plays Best Set Ever!
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Every trip to Sea Isle City includes a night listening to LeCompt -- the hardest working bar band in the world-- and they outdid themselves ...
We Don't Need No Stinking Bags
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As I was walking off the beach, my wife yelled to me to bring back her "bag from the house" and the only bag I could find back at ...
Some Decisions Make Themselves
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So when the dim sum cart comes to your table at the new China Bowl, and your choices are fried chicken feet, tripe buns, or shrimp dumpli...
An Evil Mountain by Any Other Name
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One of the excellent things about having children is that you have an excuse to revisit great movies . . . our family has just started th...
Ask Not What You Can Do For Your Country, Ask When You Can Take A Nap
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I guess it's okay for a President to be a tee-totaller-- although I know I would need a beer or seven after a long day of diplomacy at t...
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Pros and Cons of My New Minivan
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The pro: you can carpool with another family that has a minivan and all the kids can travel in one vehicle; the con: you can carpool with an...
Does It Suck For Louie If He Doesn't Know It Sucks?
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The end of season two of Louis CK's brilliant and eponymous show Louie is the most painful illustration of dramatic irony ( Wave to me!...
You'll Sleep When You're Dead (Or After You Put Your Dog Down)
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On the mornings that our children sleep until eight, our dog wakes us up at six.
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Can Anyone Recommend Some Light Reading?
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I finished Ioan Grillo's book El Narco, which is a portrait of the Mexican drug cartels and the damage they have wrought in both their h...
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There Was A Kangaroo In My Living Room
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Much of what we think about global warming is anecdotal-- it's been hotter than ever this summer . . . it never snows anymore . . ....
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The American Dream Is Just That
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It turns out that Arthur Miller and F. Scott Fitzgerald were right, there is no "American Dream" . . . if you want your children ...
Dog Days Of Dopiness
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I'm into the stage of summer where I probably need to go back to work again; I've lost focus and become a bit lazy . . . I had troub...
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Porkocrite
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For a guy that claims he doesn't eat pork, I eat a lot of pork (in fact, I may eat a fair amount of pork as compared to a person who act...
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Barely A Splurge
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One of the many horrible things I've learned from Ioan Grillo's book El Narco: Inside Mexico's Criminal Insurgency is that the g...
What Would You Think Of This Guy?
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I stepped into my time machine on Tuesday and found my old roller-blades . . . and luckily I've got still got it ( it being '90...
6 comments:
You Are What You Run
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I went out and did some sprints instead of taking a jog, because Olympic sprinters look much more bad-ass than Olympic distance runners (the...
The Weird Stuff
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My son Ian asked me: "What is the weirdest thing you've ever seen?" and I should have said "you" but, alas . . . esp...
The Song List
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As a mental challenge, I am trying to memorize the chords and lyrics to 100 songs on the guitar, and, for easy reference I am going to keep...
5 comments:
Netflix Loves The Olympics
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Using only anecdotal evidence ( my Netflix viewing habits ) I am guessing that Netflix is saving a boatload of money on postage right now, a...
Pros of a Hangover
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I'm not sure if this applies to everyone, but nothing inspires me to tackle mundane tasks more than a hangover-- last Friday, after a la...
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Water Polo is Boring
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There's a good reason the summer Olympics only come round every four years . . . it takes that long to forget how tedious a water polo m...
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My Son Ian Should Go Into Politics
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Unlike my son Alex-- who has an opinion about everything -- my son Ian holds his cards close to his chest, and so it was a rare moment last ...
You Look Sorta Famous
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We had an excellent trip to the city on Tuesday . . . we found some stuff in the Met that I've never seen before (mainly in the abori...
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This Book Will Give You A Stomach Ache (But In A Good Way)
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Chad Harbach's novel The Art of Fielding begins as an inspirational under-dog baseball story-- I was especially entertained by the aphor...
A Musical Mid-Year Resolution
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In order to stave off early onset Alzheimers, I have decided to memorize one hundred songs on the guitar-- more on this over at Gheorghe: Th...
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Knoebels vs. Disney Revisited
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Another nice thing about Knoebels Amusement Resort is that, unlike Disneyworld , the folks that run the place don't try to teach you an...
Tough Triples
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I always thought sorting out sanguine , consanguine , and sanguinary was the toughest task in the English language, but it might be equall...
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Dave Conquers 80% of the Ripliad!
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At the start of Patricia Highsmith's fourth Tom Ripley novel ( The Boy Who Followed Ripley ) our asexual Gatsby of murderers has set...
I Hold My Tongue
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Whenever someone tells me they are going to do some home-brewing, I never say what I'm really thinking-- because I once did some home-br...
My Wife Says Funny Stuff (But I'm Not Sure If She's Trying To Be Funny)
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Another excellent confused verbal permutation by my wife, said when we were discussing the funny-but-don't-get-attached-because-it-w...
Another Summer, Another LeCompt Show at The Springfield
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We are beginning to take the brilliant cheesiness of LeCompt and his fantastic band for granted, because we've heard most of what the...
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Note To Self (About Stand-Up Paddleboarding)
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Do not go stand-up paddleboarding after running several miles barefoot in the sand and then playing a game of beach soccer with young childr...
Knoebels > Disneyworld
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Another ringing endorsement for Knoebels Amusement Park , and that's impressive-- considering that I hate amusement parks -- but a d...
7 comments:
A Man Must Negotiate
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Perhaps part of the reason cars are so over-priced at the dealer is because the dealers know that people come in expecting to negotiate and ...
It's Not Like I'm Letting My Seven Year Old Smoke Cigarettes
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Last week, while I was biking with my dog , a woman in jogging attire, with a poorly behaved poodle, yelled to me, "You know, that'...
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Voracious Packing
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Now that I own a minivan, packing for the beach is an episode in gluttony, nothing is too big or useless to bring . . . it's like eating...
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Yet Another Miraculous Coincidence (With Noodles)
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I mentioned Noodle Gourmet-- the hole-in-the-wall Hong Kong style noodle joint on Easton Avenue in New Brunswick that I often frequent for l...
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They Blew Up the Chicken Man in Albuquerque Last Season
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My wife and I finally finished Season 4 of Breaking Bad, and the parting shot of the poisonous Lily of the Valley plant in Walt's ya...
2 comments:
Instead of Web- Surfing, They Should Call It Web-Driving
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Ask someone if they are an above-average driver and they will almost definitely say yes-- and that's why it's difficult to ride shot...
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A Circuitous Journey
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A few weeks ago, I picked up the new Geoff Dyer book at my local library-- and because I really like Dyer's writing, I wasn't disc...
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I Come To The End of Two Significant Nineteen Year Relationships on the Same Day
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My mother-in-law passed away last night after a long battle with cancer-- and while it was very sad, she went on her own terms, peacefully, ...
6 comments:
A Fan's Notes on A Fan's Notes
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Frederick Exley's fictional memoir A Fan's Notes is The Catcher in the Rye for sporting types . . . Exley is a grown-up Holden ...
7 comments:
Camping Is More Fun If You Stay In a Hotel With Air-Conditioning
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There is a feeling of triumph for a father when he brings his children back from a camping trip, alive and uninjured (but, ironically, despi...
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Hey Lolailo! Do You Really Need To Be That Specific?
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The Lolailo Sangria label provides some concise and definitive instructions on when to use their "refreshing wine product with natur...
2 comments:
Little Black Rubber Pellets Must Multiply Like Tribbles
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If everyone that plays on the artificial turf field brings home as many black little rubber pellets in their shoes as I bring home, then how...
4 comments:
Winter is NOT Coming
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It hasn't snowed around here since Halloween.
Pink Floyd Should Have Robbed Banks
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While I can bring to mind the countenance of any member of The Beatles or The Who or The Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin, when a friend chall...
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Better To Get It All Over On The Same Night
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My wife and I are lucky that our children are fantastic sleepers, rarely waking up in the night-- and though this occasionally results in a ...
It's Not Just Me
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Before this year's graduation ceremony, while I was milling around with the other educators, I posed this Final Jeopardy! question and ...
More Danger!
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The cougars are coming . . . but what happened to the killer bees?
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Danger!
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Never, ever ever eat home-made sausage, because once you do, you will never be able to go back to the store bought stuff . . . and so now I ...
Six Pounds of You Isn't You
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Researchers have recently mapped 99 percent of the approximately 10,000 types of microbes that populate our bodies . . . 100 trillion bact...
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Bonus Post For Dog Lovers At G:TB!
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If you dig dogs, then head over to Gheorghe: The Blog for a special "Summer Dave" pet post that also includes original photograp...
I am 60% Through the Ripliad . . . How Far Are You?
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I just finished the third novel in Patricia Highsmith's Tom Ripley series . . . Ripley's Game is more of the same as far as the...
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Physics Exclusive at G:TB!
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Science buffs are probably aware that physicists at CERN glimpsed the elusive Higgs Boson yesterday, but you might not know that I scored an...
Will This Happen Someday Soon?
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At the end of a day at the pool, not only do I not want to have to tell my kids to take a shower, but once I get them in there, doing what t...
Iberian Unity
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Catherine and I made another soccer pilgrimage to The Madrid and Lisbon Bar and Restaurant , and we learned a few things that I'd l...
Is This Really Better Than Dead Air?
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I wouldn't want to be a soccer announcer because there is a lot of space to fill . . . check out The Simpsons take on this in the ab...
Plumbing The Depths of Irony
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So if you find yourself at the Plumbing Supply Store (because Home Depot doesn't carry any parts for one piece toilets) and you ask for ...
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Miracles On Top of More Miracles
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All week, I had the nagging feeling that I was missing something-- but I couldn't put my finger on what it was-- and then Thursday morni...
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Yet Another Miracle
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In preparation for summer, Catherine depilated my back and shoulder hair with Veet hair removal cream and then I used my beard trimmer to ta...
Bomp Chukka Bomp . . . A Bicycle?
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The music in the Canadian documentary series How It's Made is decidedly pornographic sounding, and-- oddly-- this fits the content ...
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You Get The Ads You Deserve
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The final lesson in Michael J. Sandel's book What Money Can't Buy: The Moral Limits of Markets is that although a "fire hydran...
4 comments:
Spearguns Aren't As Dangerous As You Think!
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If you were wondering if it's okay to allow your children to play with spearguns, the answer is: go for it! . . . because even if you...
Costa Chica!
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In contrast to the all-encompassing logic of yesterday's post, today I will give some exceedingly specific and local advice: if you l...
All Encompassing Logic
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Some people believe Everything Happens For A Reason , but other people are annoyed by this philosophy-- so if you'd like, you can buy a...
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Into The Wild With Condoms
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Cheryl Strayed's new memoir Wild: From Lost To Found On the Pacific Coast Trail is the female version of Into the Wild , John Kraka...
If You're Rich, You Can Shoot A Walrus
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Michael Sandel examines the inevitable corruption of ethics in a society where market mentality is pervasive in his new book What Money C...
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Commencement Anxiety
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The high school where I teach holds their graduation ceremony down in Trenton, at the Sun National Bank Center, and every year I forget how ...
The Best Present of All: Gluttony
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I ate three chocolate croissants for dessert on Father's Day.
5 comments:
It's Not Like I'm Trying To Be A Gymnast
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So for those of you anxiously awaiting my decision regarding the Trilemma of Dave , I actually rested my injured knee, and I have been wea...
3 comments:
I Neglect My Family for the Good of the Blog
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My wife had the audacity to suggest that I ought to have gone grocery shopping yesterday afternoon, instead of taking my paddleboard out...
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Bonus Update: Urban Paddleboarding Emergency! (A Ridiculous Riparian Adventure in Real Time)
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I took my stand-up paddleboard out on the Raritan this afternoon-- it's a dirty river, but the boat launch is only a couple hundred y...
8 comments:
There Is More Than One Female Singer Hailing From Canada
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A few days ago the Final Jeopardy! answer was "THE BESTSELLING ALBUM OF ALL TIME BY A FEMALE IS A 20 MILLION SELLER BY THIS WOMAN WHO S...
5 comments:
Motivation
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Running before work is risky, because if you get tired or injured miles from home, you've still got to get back in time to teach first p...
I Am A Coward When It Comes To Loud Noises
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Blowing up a balloon is kind of scary . . . there's no pressure meter to tell you when to stop.
The Times They Are a-Chargin
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I carry cash, and associate this with being a man-- a man should have some green in his wallet, so he can pay quickly and fluidly, without a...
My Dog Gets Treats But My Children Do Not
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My dog bolted one time and learned his lesson . . . so last weekend when he popped loose from his collar, next to a busy road, and I told h...
Someone Needs To Calibrate This Stuff!
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While the "super" setting on my window fan is hardly that , the "medium spicy" setting at our local Thai restaurant is a...
2 comments:
How To Use The Self-Checkout Kiosk At the Library
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They have a new self-checkout kiosk at the library, so you can borrow a book without having to undergo the scrutiny of the librarian . . . n...
3 comments:
Get Real, Duracraft
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I think the "low" and "high" settings on my Duracraft window fan are accurate, but I'm not sure if the "sup...
1 comment:
Anyone Feel Like Drawing This?
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Here's a cartoon idea that is too difficult for me to draw: Samuel Jackson is waiting in line at the airport security check, and ther...
2 comments:
Don't They Have Levitating Magnetic Bullet Trains in Japan?
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You'd think the recent explosion in digital technology would have rubbed off on public transport, but train conductors are still punchin...
4 comments:
A Drink Hooper Would Enjoy
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During my trip to see the collegiate sevens rugby tournament, we impressed a school bus driver into our service and tried to get her to t...
It's Hard To Look Menacing On A Scooter
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I was walking through the park and I saw a couple of teenagers that looked like trouble-- black ski hats pulled low-- despite the warm we...
5 comments:
Unfortunately, The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
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Of my two sons, Alex reminds me more of myself -- impulsive, talkative, and just shy of smart . . . in college, my friends called me "t...
2 comments:
The Beach Is A Good Idea
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One of man's greatest inventions-- and I'm not being sexist here, as I am pretty sure that it was a man that designed the bikini...
9 comments:
My Dog Is Like A Dog But I Am Like A Cat
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Let me preface this by saying that my dog Sirius is a good dog , but sometimes good dogs do bad things . . . especially if there is a bunny...
6 comments:
Loss of Essence
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Trying to teach with laryngitis is like being a super-hero with no super-powers.
3 comments:
Sometimes It's Best Not to Know
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We had an "energy assessment" done on our house, and apparently it's a big sieve with an ancient leaking furnace underneath it...
It's Not Like I Know What A Hoosier Is
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I wish I liked hockey, but I just can't muster up any interest in the Stanley Cup Finals . . . but I am interested in how many people th...
4 comments:
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