Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
11/20/2009
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Exciting time at Donaldson Park last night: I walked down there with the boys for a game of game of hide-and-go-seek and we heard the sou...
6 comments:
Stacy Inadvertently Prevents Me From Making a Really Stupid Decision
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My friend Stacy is kicking herself, because during a discussion on back-hair maintenance, I told her that it might be time to resurrect my i...
7 comments:
11/18/2009
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Sometimes I get so angry because we'll never know what colors dinosaurs were.
5 comments:
I Am a Libertarian Paternalist
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Sorry for all the book reviews, but I read a lot when I was in Florida: Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth, and Happiness is ...
6 comments:
Fresh Tech . . . Ahhhhh
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If this sentence seems especially shiny and wonderful, it is because I typed it on my new iMac, which is utterly beautiful and judging by th...
2 comments:
11/15/2009
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Shakespeare wrote the maxim "brevity is the sole of wit" but he had that blowhard Polonius deliver the line, so I don't think ...
Bee in a Cup
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Perhaps it was because of smelling the sandwich stench or maybe, just maybe, it was the voice of God, but while I was building a prop for o...
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11/13/2009
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Jim Haner's book Soccerhead: An Accidental Journey into the American Game further reinforces what I have wholeheartedly come to believe...
2 comments:
11/12/2009
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Greg Grandin's new book Fordlandia recounts Henry Ford's epic attempt to build a model American town and rubber plantation deep in...
3 comments:
11/11/2009
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Yesterday a teacher thought she discovered the source of the foul stench in the English office refrigerator (a moldy wrap in a plastic clam ...
4 comments:
11/10/2009
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The documentary Anvil! The Story of Anvil doesn't just allude to This is Spinal Tap , it is This is Spinal Tap , except that it's ...
11/9/2009
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Ian slept on the floor in our room on our vacation in Florida and when I mistakenly kicked the spring door stopper it made a long lasting wa...
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11/08/2009
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We are back from Florida but our laptop is still broken, so I haven't been following my blog-- but I know you have all been waiting for...
11/7/2009
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It is really hard for a competitive person like myself to "let" my kids win when we play a game, so I have to handicap myself: fo...
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11/6/2009
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I quit James Ellroy's new book four hundred pages in, which made me a bit sad, but I really couldn't give a fuck what happened to an...
3 comments:
11/5/2009
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They need to "fall back" earlier-- because the dark morning were absolutely killing me, and then they need to "winter back&qu...
PAH!!!!!!
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It is odd that adults don't get together and ban Halloween-- I can't even begin to imagine a more annoying holiday and it all hinges...
1 comment:
11/3/2009
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Our lap-top caught a virus from the internet (and no, I wasn't looking at softcore pornography, it was actually my wife who did it, when...
2 comments:
11/2/2009
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I recently read that daydreaming may have important cognitive functions, especially in regards to processing long-term memories and deciding...
1 comment:
11/1/2009
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By this time, my family and I should be in West Palm Beach, and unfortunately, my laptop died and we lost everything (I really SHOULD back t...
1 comment:
10/31/2009
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I should really back-up my files more often, I really should.
I Learn A Lesson (That I Should Have Known)
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Last Sunday I decided to free myself from the traditional constraints of breakfast (we had a dinner party Saturday night, so there were lots...
6 comments:
10/29/2009
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I would like to commend all the people in my life that have made it into a Sentence of Dave-- because I am so self-centered, this only occur...
1 comment:
I Issue A Challenge
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I am a skeptic of all things paranormal, but I'm willing to keep an open mind . . . and so by the powers invested in me as the author ...
1 comment:
A Biblical Allusion Illustrated
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In Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice , Shylock the moneylender explains to his nemesis Antonio that entrepreneurship dates back to B...
5 comments:
10/26/2009
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My wife is a great cook, and I am a great eater of what she cooks . . . this is like the zen koan about the tree falling in the forest, exce...
10/25/2009
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Note to self: the two dollar margaritas at Charlie Brown's on Tuesday nights are worth exactly that.
10/24/2009
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So it seems silly to write my typical run on sentence about James Ellroy's new novel, Blood's A Rover , since his sentences run five...
10/23/2009
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It's gotten cold and one of my favorite things to do when it's cold is put on baggy fleece pants and eat a shitload of food, but luc...
5 comments:
10/22/2009
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So here's my idea for a great party: it's called a "YouTube Party" and everyone who comes is allowed to play one YouTube ...
11 comments:
10/21/2009
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Although I regard cable television as an evil time squandering monopolistic specter, I may have to get it for social reasons-- we were all h...
10 comments:
10/20/2009
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So I've been using my the patch of poison ivy on my forearm as a teaching aid (if you get the answer wrong, the threat is that I make yo...
2 comments:
10/19/2009
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My Asus Gigabyte motherboard has some compatibility issues with my NVidia GE Force 9500 video-card, possibly because the video-card shares a...
2 comments:
10/18/2009
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If you're looking for a drama about a high school teacher that's a little more intense than Welcome Back Kotter (even more intense t...
10/17/2009
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The past two days my sentences have been egregious, and so to reconcile with you, my loyal audience, I will provide a sexy picture of Farrah...
Meta Failure
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This is hardly a sentence.
5 comments:
10/14/2009
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My five year old son Alex let me in on the plan that he and his two friends concocted at school-- they are going to build robot replicas of ...
2 comments:
10/13/2009
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So it was a lucky day in the ISS (in school suspension) room-- no students-- so I had an empty room to myself in which to grade papers and o...
10/12/2009
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At bedtime, I've been reading my kids a children's version of Moby Dick (which, honestly, is hardly a bedtime story-- people die ev...
Bonus Sports Conundrum
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Can a coach receive a taunting penalty?
10/11/2009
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Does everyone cut their cornbread into tiny little cubes so there's more surface area to coat with butter, or is it just me?
3 comments:
10/10/2009
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In the office the other day, all the English teachers were lamenting the fact that progress reports were already due, and it felt like schoo...
9 comments:
Adventureland: A Review and Other Thematically Related Stuff
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Days after visiting the funky, vintage Knoebels Amusement Park in central Pennsylvania, I watched a movie that looked as if it had been fi...
5 comments:
Girl Stuff
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There has been discussion in the office of what appears manly and macho and what doesn't, perhaps we dwell on this because we're En...
7 comments:
10/7/2009
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My son Alex's kindergarten teacher sent a note home informing us of some inappropriate behavior; apparently, Alex filled his mouth with ...
3 comments:
10/6/2009
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While I was running in the school orchard last week, I nearly ran into a red fox on the trail-- I was close enough to see the white splotch ...
6 comments:
10/5/2009
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I would offer a review of Len Fisher's new book Rock, Paper, Scissors: Game Theory in Everyday Life, an engaging overview of game theory...
Is a Sloth Spooky?
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My favorite ride at Knoebels Amusement Park is the Haunted House, as I'm not much for roller coasters (even the kiddie coaster made me g...
10/3/2009
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I'm embarrassed to say that my wrist still hurts from an incident this summer-- and if there is such a thing as divine retribution for d...
4 comments:
10/2/2009
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Petting a baby alligator at Clyde Peeling's Reptiland made me think: "That's surprisingly smooth . . . maybe I would like a p...
10/1/2009
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Sometimes the best antidote for a mediocre pulled pork sandwich (provided by some church in Watsontown) is a really good pulled pork sandwic...
5 comments:
This Is How They Roll In Watsonville
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Apparently, on town-wide garage sale day in Watsonville, PA, it's not only time to sell your old clothes, toys, and furniture, but it...
3 comments:
To Spit or Not to Spit
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The New Jersey Shakespeare Theater's presentation of Hamlet is fantastic, but it's also a vector for H1N1-- the theater is quite s...
9/28/2009
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It doesn't look like I'm going to be mentally capable of helping Catherine and her co-coach Lauren with Alex and Ian's soccer te...
1 comment:
9/27/2009
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My Achilles tendon doesn't feel like it's connected to my foot anymore.
9/26/2009
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My wife calls me "retarded" an awful lot, considering that she's a Special Education teacher.
3 comments:
9/25/2009
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Although it makes me look very silly, the Breathe Right nose strip is actually making me sleep better during ragweed season . . . and the al...
1 comment:
Nothing Says Welcome Home Like Giant Wasps
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I used to consider turning on the porch light after dark a polite gesture, especially if Catherine was still out, as the porch light illumin...
9/23/2009
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After a discussion about food in general (including Michael Pollan and Big Corn) and oranges in particular-- my grandmother told us that bac...
3 comments:
9/22/2009
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You will meet an old friend, who is now involved in international espionage, and you will become entangled in a byzantine plot with this old...
2 comments:
Don Draper Needs To Use His Words
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A combination of allergies, teaching a full week of school, and soccer try-outs made me lose my voice, so Saturday morning I felt like Dona...
3 comments:
9/20/2009
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Though Katherine Howe's novel The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane is about witchcraft, it is the opposite of a Harry Potter tale, as ...
9/19/2009
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The other morning, while I was filling my water bottle at the water fountain, a little sophomore boy walked past, but then I saw his head tu...
1 comment:
It's Hard to Say Go-Gurt With A Straight Face
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It's hard to look like a bad ass when you're eating a frozen Go-Gurt, especially because it means you took the time to think ahead-...
9/17/2009
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Finally watched Quentin Tarantino's B Movie parody/homage Deathproof : I can't say that I loved it, although Kurt Russell is entert...
New Song! Dear Ozzy . . .
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For several years, my friend Whitney and I have been pursuing the great white whale of novelty songs, an epic entirely composed of lyrics f...
Energizer Dave
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So yesterday I ran a few miles before soccer practice started, and then I ran quite a bit at practice-- I do all the sprints and running to ...
4 comments:
9/15/2009
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The vocabulary of the recession is creeping into the students' lexicon: last week in my senior writing class, a girl complained that she...
2 comments:
9/14/2009
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In this rather surreal picture Alex drew of our family (sans himself) he portrayed his younger brother Ian as a many armed cyclops, which ma...
9/13/2009
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Never underestimate the Super Powers that your children attribute to you: I was describing my abortive trip to the East Brunswick Library to...
9/12/2009
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Some members of my family have remarked that my policy on allowable television viewing is similar to that of a communist dictator's stin...
9/11/2009
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Absence does make the heart grow fonder: you'd never suspect, seeing our happy family eat Chinese food, that just days before we were cl...
2 comments:
One Pill Makes You Larger . . . and One Pill Makes You Italian
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One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small-- and according to Steve Silberman in his article in this month's Wired magazi...
9/9/2009
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Something overheard in New Brunswick the other night: "we were so shit-housed, I can't believe we built the entire gazebo . . . an...
2 comments:
Amish Market Etiquette
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I was sternly reprimanded by a customer at the Amish Market last Saturday, and I probably deserved it . . . but you would have done the sam...
9/7/2009
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Neill Blomkamp's new movie District 9 should be a TV show: like the new Battlestar Galactica , the movie uses sci-fi to explore politi...
9/6/2009
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Another reason not to pay 100 bucks for a Broadway show: these performers are so polished it's not really live , there's little to ...
This Land is My Land, This Land is Methland
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So I started this great book by Nick Reding, Methland: the Death and Life of an American Small Town , right? and it was so gripping that I w...
2 comments:
9/4/2009
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Alex transmogrified the Sister Sledge chorus "We are family" into a ditty about the long-pig . . . "Eat your family."
Methland
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If the Tom Arnold story isn't for you, then perhaps you'd prefer his sister Lori's rise and fall . . . I just learned about her ...
9/2/2009
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For two weeks at Sea Isle City, we watched the same odd scene enacted over and over in front of the life guard stand: the same burly blond ...
2 comments:
9/1/2009
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After a long day of running, skim-boarding, and beach soccer, I made the mistake of complaining about my bad ankle in front of my wife; she...
2 comments:
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