Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
4/9/2009
›
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree-- Alex said to me, "I don't know everything, Dad, but I know a lot."
1 comment:
4/8/2009
›
Although the Pulp song "Common People" is one of my favorites, Jarvis Cocker's premise has been refuted: there's plenty o...
4/7/2009
›
The Spiderwick Chronicles is pretty good as far as those kind of movies go, better than Harry Potter, but it is definitely not for young ki...
4 comments:
4/6/2009
›
I thought I had a lot in common with my nerdy students, but after seeing last Friday's "Collision" Dance Competition I realize...
4/5/2009
›
Long ago, at a wine tasting festival in Virginia, I got a chance to meet Sam Snead-- I ambled into the tent, said, "Hey Sam, can you st...
2 comments:
4/4/2009
›
I was excited that my son Alex (5 years old) was holding his own in a game of chess with an older kid-- it was a new plateau, they were quie...
4/3/2009
›
Some science-fiction reviews: Danny Boyle's Sunshine is pretty good, lots of slow paced space scenes like 2001 and some actual scienc...
4 comments:
Grown Men Should Not Possess Fruit Roll-ups
›
Catastrophe averted: I removed a fruit roll-up from my shirt pocket just BEFORE I threw the shirt into the wash.
6 comments:
4/1/2009
›
Bad news: I'm wrapping it up, I'm packing it in . . . I've got no more to say-- I've run out of ideas and my life isn't...
9 comments:
3/31/2009
›
I left my car at the Grove Friday night, Catherine met me out after the Collision Dance Competition and when it was time to go, I thought it...
5 comments:
3/30/2009
›
The Sentence of Dave now-- at no extra cost to you, the reader-- provides links to the opinion section of both The Wall Street Journal and t...
3/29/2009
›
Senioritis has arrived: several of my seniors were trying to cover their second semester text book by wrapping (not taping) a single sheet ...
2 comments:
3/28/2009
›
My younger son Ian's reaction when Alex went to swim lessons but he did not (his age group was all filled up for this session) was awful...
3 comments:
Warning Warning.
›
The warning for today's sentence may be unnecessarily ironic.
Irony Warning!
›
The meaning of today's sentence may not be what it literally says! Dave might actually be content with his monotonous life! The events...
3/27/2009
›
My life has been so boring and monotonous lately (get up early, practice the guitar, go to work, grade essays, come home, have a snack, play...
4 comments:
3/26/2009
›
In case anyone is concerned, my cyst wound is healing nicely, because I have good "tissue granulation," but maybe this was just th...
4 comments:
3/25/2009
›
In these hard economic times, it is important to remember that there are two ways to look at any political issue, and it is also important t...
3/24/2009
›
The ticket lady cautioned us that the Imax movie Sea Monsters was a bit scary, and I thought she was referring to the acting-- the B movie a...
2 comments:
3/23/2009
›
I am wondering just how angry I am supposed to get at my children when they do not listen to me; I know it's bad for my heart to get an...
3 comments:
3/22/2009
›
It took thirty three years for me to learn that Evelyn Waugh was a man.
1 comment:
3/21/2009
›
A student told me this story yesterday, and it was so bad that I have reproduced it here verbatim: "Last night at work, I met this guy ...
3/20/2009
›
Does anyone know where I put my banjo finger-picks?
3 comments:
3/19/2009
›
If there's one thing I've learned about politics from reading Nixonland: the rise of a president and the fracturing of America , it ...
2 comments:
3/18/2009
›
If you live each day like it is your last, then very soon one of them will be . . . if you live life to the fullest, soon you will be very f...
The Wrestler: This One Hit Me Below the Belt
›
I give The Wrestler nineteen staple-gun wounds out of a possible twenty-- and it's worth seeing on the big screen because the movie is ...
Two Reasons to See Happy
›
I give Mike Leigh's new movie Happy Go Lucky nine trampolines out of a possible ten-- it's very funny and the soundtrack reminds m...
3/15/2009
›
We did a double take and then used the internet to check the facts, but it is sad but true-- the median price of a home sold in Detroit in D...
2 comments:
3/14/2009
›
As my sophomores liked to nebulously state in their essays: Alexander Rodriguez and I are similar and different . . . we are similar becaus...
My Greatest Contribution to Western Culture
›
Edison had his light-bulb, the Wright brothers their aeroplane, and Ben Franklin his eponymous stove . . . but I don't think I will eve...
5 comments:
3/12/2009
›
My five year old son Alex told my wife that his friend Tiko said he "didn't like Jews" so they had an awkward and serious conv...
Kids Say the Darndest Crassest Things
›
I thought the youth of today were crass, but check out this tasteless gem from Rick Perlstein's new weighty book on American politic...
4 comments:
3/10/2009
›
Do other people, when they sample free meats, cheeses, and crackers from the enticing little bubble shaped displays at the grocery store, ch...
4 comments:
3/9/2009
›
I attended the renowned middle school Potato Pancakes and Pierogie Party Friday night, and like the Polack of the joke, I did something very...
3/8/2009
›
They must see some nasty shit at the doctor's office, because the phrase "healing nicely" and the giant open wound on my back ...
3/7/2009
›
If Legally Blonde isn't your cup of tea, perhaps Piece of Cake is your rock of crack-- it's Cupcake Brown's memoir of life as ...
Arboriculture, Dave Style
›
You know you're a real homeowner when you find yourself on your front lawn, armed with a football, duct-taped to a length of thick rope,...
13 comments:
3/5/2009
›
This sentence is rated PG-13 for brief nudity (nothing too provocative, just my bare back, but I do have some hair growing there, so I thoug...
3/4/2009
›
The one benefit I can see about getting old is-- simply through trial and error, time, and word of mouth-- we now know an honest contractor ...
2 comments:
3/3/2009
›
Some days you think of something brilliant to write-- such as The Dog Hollerer -- and sometimes you've got to steal someone else's s...
3 comments:
A Gross Present
›
I share my birthday with a Cat named Seuss-- who, like all writers, liked his juice as I like mine, fermented and sweet . . . especially...
3 comments:
Very Specific Audience
›
If you're looking for a novel where the protagonist is a doctor in the witness protection plan because he was once a hit-man for the mo...
2/28/2009
›
Is every open field in Middlesex County covered with gooseshit?
2 comments:
2/27/2009
›
It must be really hard to be an unbiased and objective news reporter; case in point, how do you NOT inject some sarcasm into this story from...
6 comments:
2/26/2009
›
So why is it that when you go to the doctor's office and they give you antibiotics for a sebaceous cyst (which is essentially a big pimp...
7 comments:
2/25/2009
›
Apparently, Tiger Woods hasn't played golf for a year, but I didn't know this-- my brother actually claimed I was lying to him when ...
5 comments:
2/24/2009
›
I thought raising kids was hard enough, but now what do I say when they bring up the subject of marijuana use . . . you might end up like Mi...
2/23/2009
›
Saturday night Catherine and I went to a "reunion" of the Melody bar; Catherine wanted to see her old roommate, who often played ...
5 comments:
The One Reason to Love February (Unless You Are a Ground Hog)
›
Sorry about yesterday's sentence about nothing-- today's will be about something far more concrete: money; February is my favorite...
2/21/2009 Bonus Video
›
I rarely post YouTube videos on here-- I think Americans watch enough reality TV, and they should do more reading . . . even if it's ...
2/21/2009
›
I'm trying something new, I'm starting this sentence with absolutely no idea, no topic, not a thought in my head, and I'm just g...
2 comments:
Why Whisper When you Can Holler?
›
Last night, our next door neighbors went out for the evening and in the mad rush (they have five kids) they left their dog out and he was b...
7 comments:
2/19/2009
›
My microwave oven was taking so long to melt the cheese on my tortilla chips (like 35 seconds!) that I had a snack while I was waiting for m...
2 comments:
I Think You'll Understand . . . I want to Read Your Sca-aaaan
›
A funny sentence from Daniel Levitin's This is Your Brain on Music -- a book that has as much technical neuroscience as it does music th...
3 comments:
2/17/2009
›
Random recollection from the surreal time before children: Catherine left my alone for the day, but when she came home I was in the same sp...
2/16/2009
›
I gave up reading Netherland , a subtle novel about cricket and divorce in post 9-11 New York-- it was too subtle for me, perhaps someone ca...
2/15/2009
›
I recommend Transiberian if you want to watch a fast-paced thriller set in an exotic locale, plus it has one of those hysterical movie conv...
4 comments:
2/14/2009
›
My son Alex said that his friend's nanny died, and so I asked him if he told his friend he was sorry; Alex looked at me and said, "...
2/13/2009
›
It made me happy that I put the drawer slides upside-down in our new TV stand, because I was forced to reach into the drawer recess and unsc...
4 comments:
I Unwittingly Give A Pregnant Student Anxiety
›
You would think that after yesterday's debacle , I'd have learned my lesson, but today in Creative Writing class I was demonstratin...
2 comments:
There May Be Something Wrong With Me
›
Warning: if your opinion of Dave is already low, this sentence may make it subterranean, so proceed at your own risk . . . yesterday was th...
Dave is Transitioning . . . Slowly
›
After interviewing many friends, students, and co-workers, I have decided to switch to a Mac; I told my students it feels like I'm gett...
6 comments:
2/9/2009
›
Building your own custom bookshelves is easy . . . you just saw the wood, sand it, and then screw it together . . . it's so easy it make...
2/8/2009
›
Whenever it's under fifteen degrees, the driver side door of my 1994 Jeep Cherokee Sport freezes, and everyone in the school parking lot...
3 comments:
We're Number One! (In Middlesex County)
›
Good news for my property values: New Jersey Monthly just came out with it's top one hundred high schools in New Jersey , and Highland...
2 comments:
My Apologies
›
Yesterday, I got some kind of virus on my computer-- it did something weird to the blog and it made it impossible to surf the internet (ever...
5 comments:
2/6/2009
›
One of the benefits of playing soccer is that it keeps you vigilant about your toe-nail maintenance.
Rule #1: Do Not Read War and Peace in Public
›
I defeated the premise of sociologist Dalton Conley's new book Elsewhere USA : how we got from the company man, family dinners, and the...
6 comments:
2/4/2009
›
So I'm at gymnastics, and Alex's class has begun, but Ian's class doesn't start for another ten minutes and so he's play...
3 comments:
2/3/2009
›
Yesterday I wrote a lame sentence, and this is what Eric commented: "I usually wait until they make a movie about the Nobel or Pulitzer...
9 comments:
2/2/2009
›
An irony of illusion and reality: nearly everyone can reel off the movies and actors that collected an Academy Award, but who can recall the...
7 comments:
Anti-social Notworking
›
What Facebook needs (I'm not sure why I am prescribing this, since I don't have an account) is a list of enemies to complement the ...
1 comment:
‹
›
Home
View web version