Showing posts sorted by date for query christmas rant. Sort by relevance Show all posts
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The Scarlet Sweater

I try to keep my Xmas Ranting at a minimum (except in Philosophy class, where we always read my favorite Dave-Xmas-Rant themed short story "The Ones That Walk Away From Omelas" and discuss child labor laws and pathological First World consumption and Third World environmental devastation in a utilitarian framework).

But Friday something I heard in the English Office set me off. It was officially "ugly Christmas sweater day" and lots of folks were participating in this administratively sanctioned event (it might have been called "ugly Holiday sweater day" to preserve the separation of Church and State . . . I'm not sure).

Anyway, at first my attitude was "whatever." If people like this kind of thing, who am I to criticize? I haven't worn a sweater since the 90s because they're itchy and hot and the sleeves are stupid. But maybe some people like being itchy and hot and dipping their sleeves covered into their lunch while they're eating it.

Then I saw something that piqued my interest. A couple of people were wearing ugly Xmas hoodies, and this was something new. Kristyna, a fellow English teacher, was wearing an incredibly ugly hoody. Just hideous. It was covered in very detailed, photographic quality Xmas ornaments. It was busy and loud and had that plastic sheen of a new hoodie made of some fabric that was more fossil-fuel than cotton.

I asked her how she acquired it and she said her dad had bought it, possibly as a joke, but it didn't fit him. We chatted about sizes and the ugliness of the hoody and then it struck me:

He bought it as a joke?

All of these ugly sweaters were bought as jokes. To be worn once. Yuck.

Yikes.

In America, we're so rich and entitled and wasteful and profligate and materialistic that we buy things as jokes. Instead of making jokes, with words-- and by the way, words don't consume any fossil fuels-- we buy jokes. Silly mugs and tchotchkes and ugly sweaters. It's bad enough that we buy all the stuff that we "need." But we also buy stuff that we don't need. And then-- in a final spasm of determination to consume every resource on this planet-- we buy jokes.

I had just watched this episode of Patriot Act, so I was a bit wound up about American clothing consumption.



We buy so so many clothes in America it's actually disgusting. They're made in Asia, and it's an environmental nightmare. Clothes take a lot of water to make. They pollute the water. They release toxic fumes in the air. The dyes are damaging to the environment. The workers toil in windowless rooms full of these fumes. They are often young and underpaid. But we're addicted to fast fashion and cheap clothes. So be it. I understand the motivation, to look good, and to look various. I'm always appreciative when my wife or the ladies in the English office are well-dressed. I wear the same clothes over and over again and it's boring. I get it. Not everyone wants to be boring. For some people, fashion is a hobby, an expression of who they are. Fine.

But do we need to buy clothing as a joke?

I think that "ugly sweater day" is a place to draw the line in the sand. If your workplace has one, rant a bit, indignantly. Tell people to watch Patriot Act "The Ugly Truth of Fast Fashion." And tell them to start wearing that scarlet sweater-- that shameful symbol of First World materialism run rampant-- more than one day a year. Own it and appreciate it for exactly what it is.

Giving the Gift of Omelas

I've been pretty good this year about controlling my Xmas Ranting . . . maybe it's because my children have moved beyond The Age of Getting Loads of Plastic Toys to less overt consumption, but I've still had a couple of Grinch-like moments: in Philosophy class, we read the classic Ursula Leguin utilitarian-parable-turned-nightmare "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas" . . . if you haven't read it, then you must-- and after sharing some fairly typical Dave-like opinions on the evils of wrapping paper and the vacuous environmental disaster of mindless gift giving, I told my class that I had a brilliant idea: the only gift I would give my children for Christmas would be a gift-wrapped copy of the story (on recycled paper) and they told me I was an awful person, and I told them as much as I wished I could do that, my wife wouldn't allow it, and then I even offered them a different, more hopeful view on the story . . . an inspirational and fascinating TED Talk by Leslie T. Chang about how Chinese factory workers aren't oppressed slaves of the first world, and actually choose working in cities over awful rural conditions, and how these workers-- many of them women-- have far more autonomy and choice and upward mobility than Leguin's boy-thing in the closet . . . I recommend you consume both the story and the TED Talk, and then make your own decision as to how much you should rant about the holiday season.

Christmas Rant #1,032,293

Something to consider when over-consuming during the holiday season, Costco and Trader Joe's pay their employees a living wage, while Wal-Mart does not.

Christmas Rant #2,894,987

Some of my students were appalled the other day when I revealed my Grinch-like attitude towards Christmas; I don't remember what set me off, but it always happens, the littlest reminder can send me on a long rant about wrapping paper and Christmas trees and the environment, about how Santa Claus has defeated Jesus and how awful music has defeated them both, about consumption, materialism, and the pressure to buy everyone some sort of unnecessary object, etcetera . . . and I'm not allowed to mention these feelings anywhere else-- I try to keep them from my kids and my wife will punch me in the face if I mention them to her and no one in the English office needs to hear these opinion again so I end up preaching to a captive audience . . . but my students have convinced me to have a better attitude and I even promised to help Catherine with the lights and I'm going to try to buy non-material gifts, although I did have a great idea for a personalized gift that doesn't waste any resources or cause any extra pollution: I present all of my loved ones with a personalized list of Dewey Decimal numbers that refer to books I think they would like to read . . . e.g. I might give myself Dewey Decimal number 813.54 21.
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