Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Easter Sunday Tennis Resurrection
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This afternoon, my brother, Alex, Ian and I played some doubles at Mercer County Park before Easter dinner-- Alex hadn't played since th...
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Wind . . . What is it Good For?
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The wind is the most annoying element in sports (except when it becomes a tornado-- then it's one of the most deadly elements) and while...
History . . . What is It Good For?
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New episode of We Defy Augury up . . . I read a couple of history books and learned a few things-- but probably not as much as I should h...
John Mulaney Stole My Bit!
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I was texting with my friend Whitney today and I recommended he listen to the album "10000 gecs"-- but I also recommended the c...
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Tennis Canceled (Self Reflective Stretch Day)
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No tennis match today-- the weather is truly ugly-- and we could probably use a bit more practice so this might be a good thing, so this af...
This Doesn't Bode Well . . .
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Today at tennis practice, our third singles player and I beat Ian and Ethan -- first and second singles-- in a set . . . Ian has the yips wi...
Horror with Panache (or Should I Say Flair?)
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Last Night in Soho , which on first glance might seem like some other kind of film-- perhaps a feminine/Anglophile version of Woody Allen...
Remember When Harry Potter Fought Jesus?
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I've just started listening to The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling and it seems Rowling is a useful and fascinating lens with which to ob...
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Horror and Lunch Buffet
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Last night, Catherine and I watched the horror movie Barbarian and while I will admit that every decision every single regular person made ...
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Spring Break! Spring Break?
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Long last day of school-- I covered a class so I worked every minute, plus the kids are wild animals the day before break . . . this poor gi...
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Dave Learns Too Much Today
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I took over a new class today (because Cunningham got knocked up) and my co-teacher was out, so I had to learn a lot on my own (sort of, I c...
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Long Fucking Afternoon
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My son Ian, a senior, and Ethan-- an athletic and skilled sophomore, played their challenge match today for the first singles position and i...
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Almost Fucking There
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The Rutgers Expos team is slogging its way toward Spring Break but there's a bunch of essays, an Excel Spreadsheet, numerous college cre...
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March Showers Are Fucking Cold
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The weather apps did not concur-- my students, with their newfangled iPhones, said their Apple weather app predicted 90% rain, but my much d...
Life is Scarier Than Death
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It's easier to fight a deranged possessed puppet than it is to be an executrix . . . or at least that's my argument in this week'...
One-on-one Doubles
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My high school tennis team is going to play one-on-one doubles every day at practice-- they can't do it well yet, but they have improv...
gecs!
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I am still obsessed with the album 10000 gecs . . . I'm sure I'll get sick of it, but I'm listening to this album the way I lis...
Chat GPT is a Prude
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I haven't played with Chat GPT in a while, but it rained today-- resulting in no tennis practice-- so I got to screwing around and I ask...
So Many gecs
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If you liked this song , then you might like 100 gecs . . . if you need some context, listen to the new Switched on Pop . . . or go all t...
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Longest Week of the Year
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The long angry week: half days with no lunch, four fucking days of spring parent conferences-- unheard of anywhere except East Brunswick-- t...
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El Orfanato plus Being John Malkovich Equals?
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If you're looking for a horror novel with serious puppetry, Being John Malkovich level marionette skills, then check out the new Grady ...
Wild Times
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I was going to run over to T.J. Maxx today and buy some athletic socks, but instead I ordered them on Amazon.
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Thus Endeth the Streak
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I played pickle ball today and tennis Thursday and Friday, and I did not fall down on any of those days . . . good times.
NCAA Weirdness Has Selected New Jersey
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Rutgers doesn't make March Madness but Princeton and FDU move on . . . a New Jersey minor miracle (after a St. Peters major miracle last...
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Tennis: First Day!
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Whirlwind day: reverse schedule because of testing; Cunningham had a mental breakdown because of the positioning of her horizontal oblique f...
What The Kids Are Up To . . .
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On our ride home from the Catskills, my son Alex gave me the lowdown on college-- apparently fraternity hazing still happens, as does the us...
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Mark Leyner vs. The Internet
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Take a trip back to the '90s in my new episode of We Defy Augury . . . the internet didn't quite work yet, but the movies were a...
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Back to Belleayre (But Better)
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Last spring, Alex and I took a trip to Belleayre Mountain to do some snowboarding in celebration of his acceptance to the Rutgers Engineerin...
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Socks Suck
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Enough said.
My Boss is the Best
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Yesterday, I had leftover tilapia for lunch and I needed some gum before I went back to class and breathed on the students and even though m...
Cold Times in Laramie
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If you're looking for a grim, bloody, disturbing podcast that investigates the unreliability of memory and the possibility that all firs...
A Podcast is Worth 10,000 Words
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I converted one of my podcasts to text (using Otter.ai) and then cleaned it up and made it into a blog post and it turns out that a podcast ...
Adulting 201
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Lynn Steger Strong's novel Flight is a reminder of how difficult it is to be an adult-- to deal with money, finances, children, death, ...
Delayed Reaction Dave
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So I was going up for a rebound Saturday and some kid continued to box me out, even though I was in the air, and I took a hard horizontal fa...
Anyone Seen This Guy Lately?
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A couple of pictures of me circa 1993 (courtesy of my buddy Neil) when we went out to meet our buddy in Tahoe-- apparently thirty years ago ...
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Yikes
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I went up for a rebound today while playing four-on-four basketball with my son and somehow got my legs swept out from under me and hit the ...
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Sports: The Great and the Terrible
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I got one sporting birthday gift for my birthday, and one sporting slap in the face: 1) Alex and Ian played together in a volleyball tournam...
Dave and The Good Doctor Celebrate Yet Another Birthday With Some Doggerel Rhymes
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The day has arrived, the day of my birth-- The day Seuss and I debuted on the Earth; And while the good doctor has passed from this place, I...
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Various Kinds of Door Decorating
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My older son Alex turned nineteen today (WTF!) and my wife slipped out of work at lunch and went to his dorm and decorated his dorm room d...
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Contingency Waist Plan
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If I acquire a big beer belly, I'm wearing my friend Cunningham's pregnancy jeans!
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Comparing Apples and Fungi
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Which was scarier: watching last night's Rutgers basketball game or the new "spooky mall" episode of The Last of Us?
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Here It Comes . . . The Long Haul
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This is it: the long haul of school that precedes Spring Break-- five-day week after five-day week, tedium and repetition and no breaks in s...
That's a Lot of Words . . .
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I ran my new episode of We Defy Augury through an online transcript generator (Otter.ai) because I wanted to edit it and make it a blog po...
Sometimes High School Kids Teach You Shit You Didn't Know
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Today I learned three things from my students: 1) Chronophoto is an awesome online game; 2) InspiroBot is more fun than ChatGPT; 3) a girl...
Sometimes High School Kids Are Actually Charming and Entertaining
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This morning the students in my first period Public Speaking class crushed their Demonstrations speeches-- I always get nervous before we do...
Holy Mother of Peanut Butter and Chocolate Miracle!
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The College Writing Crew was embroiled in another meeting about the state of the Rutgers Expository Writing Course . . . which will now b...
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Satisfying Slime?
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One of the benefits of teaching high school is that it helps me keep up with what the young people are into; yesterday in Public Speaking ...
A Couple of Crucial Creative Concepts
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Episode 30 of We Defy Augury reviews a couple of critically crucial creative concepts to help you captivate, compel, and command the crow...
Hail to the Chief!
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A perfect President's Day-- it was 60 degrees and sunny in February, so Catherine and I played some pickle-ball-- the whole crew was out...
White Lotus Season Three?
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If you've finished both seasons of White Lotus and you need a lampooning-the-uber-rich fix, then you might enjoy Triangle of Sadness . ....
Impressive Nap
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I had a long, fun, and busy Friday into Saturday -- I played early morning basketball at 6:30 AM and got a very good run in, as I was part o...
College Writing is a Changin'
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Yesterday the current EBHS Rutgers Expository Writing team (so Stacey, Cunningham, Soder, Brady, and me) and my boss took a meeting with two...
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Miracle at the Wawa
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Yet another sentence set at the Wawa -- and NOT at the Starbucks, I might add . . . there are ZERO sentences on this blog set at Starbucks ...
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Nothing Romantic
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Catherine, Ian, and I had a fun (but not very romantic) Valentine's Day-- we watched episode five of The Last of Us , which was gripping...
William Carlos Williams vs. Wallace Stevens: Adjective Smackdown!
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New episode of We Defy Augury up and it's a good one-- as close to being in my Creative Writing class as it gets . . . "William ...
Nice Work, Kids
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It's official-- both my kids can properly shoot a basketball (and they learned to do it sooner than I did . . . I think it took me until...
Why Roger Goodell . . . Why?
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It's Sunday night, I'm wiped out and want to pack it in and get ready for school tomorrow, but we're off to a SuperBowl party-- ...
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Things I Learned Recently (For the Next Time)
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I've now hit the age where I can have three alcoholic drinks and feel okay the next morning, but if I have four alcoholic drinks then I&...
Game, Set, Dave is Old
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When my son Ian was a sophomore I could still occasionally win a set when I played him in tennis; last year, his junior season, I could stil...
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Pet Paradox
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My vet still requires masking . . . for people-- but pets don't have to wear masks and they are the patients!
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Tomorrow, I Just Might Start Playing Video Games . . . Tomorrow
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New episode of We Defy Augury up-- I read Gabrielle Zevin's novel about creativity, collaboration, and video-game design Tomorrow an...
Salad Days of Dave
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Making a salad in the morning to bring for lunch seems like a great idea in the AM-- healthy, nutritious, delicious and fibrous-- but then w...
That Was Only Monday?
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Full on Monday today . . . as a model narrative, I told a story in Public Speaking I haven't recounted in a while-- the time Catherine a...
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Good (Dog Defecation) Deed
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Today at the dog park, when this older guy's dog Max pooped in the far corner, I went and picked it up and disposed of it-- and I didn...
Uh . . . Wow . . . TV?
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The third episode of The Last of Us -- the HBO show based on the video game with the same name-- is some very ambitious, very emotional, ver...
How to Get a Seat at Salt
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After many fruitless attempts, my wife and I finally got a seat at Salt during happy hour; Salt is an upscale seafood joint in New Brunswick...
Dave Educates the Youth?
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We had our first "Show and Tell" session with the new Creative Writing kids today-- they read something from the world that they f...
Groundhog Day (on Groundhog Day)
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It's mid-year . . . mid-terms are over and it's back to the repetitive grind; I did "first day of school stuff" in my thre...
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It's February!
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Get busy, pack it in and compress yourself-- it's February, you sons of bitches, and you've only got 28 days to get it done this mon...
Less Cheese Please
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We stopped buying bags of pre-grate cheese (mainly because they have weird chemical additives to prevent clumping) and this had two good out...
Riley Sager, You Give Genre Fiction a Bad Name
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Wow . . . this new Riley Sager book The House Across the Lake is a hot mess . . . but it certainly inspired me to think about the rules...
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Highs and Lows
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I was quite pleased with myself (for a few minutes) at indoor soccer this morning-- the first two games were zero-zero ties (no wonder Ameri...
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Sarcastic Tone Implied
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I'm not very good at sarcasm-- I don't have the voice for it-- so I've got to broadcast it . . . here it comes: you know what...
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AM Record
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An EB AM record . . . nineteen people at Friday morning basketball today-- pretty wild, we had an upstairs game and a sub-gym game-- and the...
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Two Profound Questions
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Here they are: 1. Why is it so hard for me to get a pair of socks on without ripping them? 2. Why have I gotten so into listening to The Bri...
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Dave is Not a Doctor
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I'm not a medical doctor (though I often play one in my home, when I'm diagnosing my children and telling them various remedies: try...
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Why I Don't Own a Gun
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When I play pickleball, I get great joy from hitting my opponent square in the chest with the ball-- if they pop up a "dink," this...
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Let's Play Duck Duck Oil Sands
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Kate Beaton's graphic memoir Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands is heavy viscous stuff . . . I get into it in my new episode of We Def...
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Where Art Thou, Snow Day? Wherefore, No Snow?
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Another gray, kind-of-mild winter day . . . where is the snow?
Moral: Eat at La Casita!
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Yesterday at early morning basketball, we had sixteen players so we had to run a pair of four-on-four games across the gym-- while this was ...
Real Night Court Takes Longer Than 22 Minutes
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I hope my son learned his lesson yesterday at night court-- my lawyer buddy Jay got his violations knocked down to two points (and a stern l...
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The Joys of Fatherhood
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It would be a perfect Thursday afternoon to relax, take a nap, perhaps have a beer or two and avoid the ugly weather, but instead, I'll ...
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I'll Always Have "Tupperawareness"
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I made a playlist on Spotify called "psychedelicious" but -- once again-- I haven't coined anything new . . . dammit.
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Beware the Candy House
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Jennifer Egan's new novel The Candy House , ostensibly a "sequel" to her tour-de-force A Visit From the Goon Squad , reminds...
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Let There Be Sweat
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The Sporting Gods did shine their benevolent (and sweaty) light on New Jersey yesterday-- for five glorious hours, as Rutgers defeated Ohio ...
May the Sporting Gods Shine Their Light on New Jersey Today?
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This could be-- if the sporting gods will it-- a great sporting day for New Jersey-- Rutgers vs. Ohio State basketball game is about to star...
Picture This: You Are a Woman Working the Oil Camps of Alberta
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Kate Beaton's autobiographical graphic novel Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands is heavy, viscous stuff; Beaton heads from Nova Scotia t...
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Catching Up
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This is the week COVID finally caught Catherine and Ian-- but not me! . . . or not yet-- and earlier in the week the principal caught Ian go...
Word Word Words
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Catherine and I couldn't agree on the difference in meaning between "pocket change" and "pocket money"-- the argumen...
Next Level
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This afternoon, Ian and I played basketball with a big man who could really pass-- it was like he had eyes in the back of his head-- and whe...
Stars, Caves, and Everything in Between
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New episode of We Defy Augury up and streaming . . . "Stars, Caves, and Everything" is loosely inspired on the new Neil deGras...
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When Pigs Fly
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I never listened to Pink Floyd's Animals enough-- perhaps because of the weird song lengths . . . 3 songs that are over ten minutes and...
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I Sat in a Teacup Chair on a Little Island
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Entertaining day in the city yesterday-- we took an 11:30 AM train in, along with lots of hockey fans going to the Devils/Rangers game (and ...
We Walked on a Little Island
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Colin Quinn has still got it-- more to come tomorrow, but a full day in the city (but MVD . . . Most Valuable Driver . . . to Ian, who drove...
Weird Movie
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The Banshees of Inisherin is evocative, beautiful, bucolic, awkward, insular, funny and weird-- it will make you evaluate your friends, you...
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Weird Weather
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Foggy and unseasonable warm this week, which is annoying as far as snowboarding conditions go but a great week for our hot water heater (and...
The Futility of Chasing the Shuttlecock
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I was playing badminton yesterday morning-- singles-- and I was heading to the right but the shuttlecock came back more to the left and I un...
Livin' La Vida Lapvona
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A weird episode about a weird book: in "Livin' La Vida Lapvona" , I try to make sense of Ottessa Moshfegh's repugnant f...
School Returns with a Vengeance
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My wife and I had to teach today, despite the fact that it was a federal holiday, while Ian got to sleep in; Alex didn't get in until tw...
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Feral Hogs + Atlanta = Awesome
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We just finished one of my favorite TV shows ever: Atlanta . . . my son Alex finished ahead of Ian and me, but Alex watched the last few ...
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