1/17/2009

Just as when Proust's narrator (barely a narrator) eats the madeleine cake in Rembrance of Things Past, and it starts him down memory lane, when I ate a kiwi this morning it made me laugh: I was remembering a friend's story from college: he had just begun his freshman year and he was a member of ROTC, the Sergeant told him to make sure his boots were black for the first meeting, and to use some Kiwi on them . . . and so he went to the store and purchased several kiwis and attempted to polish his boots with them, smashing them into the boots until he made a juicy, citrus mess, which made th boots no blacker; unfortunately his girlfriend had to break the news to him that Kiwi was a brand of shoe polish.

1/16/2009

Alex, Ian and I were rocking out to Neil Young's "Down by the River" in the car, until the lyrics got too disturbing and Alex asked, "Why did he shoot his baby? Would someone shoot a baby? Is he a mean guy?" and then Ian chimed in with "that guy shot a baby, he killed a baby" and I had to explain to them that the term baby didn't have to refer to a very young human, it could also be used to describe a chick or a babe or piece or a slice or a hottie or a foxy mama-- but then I still had no good answer as to why he shot her, because the lyrics are pretty obtuse, but I did some research and his "baby" may have been heroin and so then shooting his baby is a metaphor for breaking his addiction . . . so it's like he shot the monkey on his back . . . but there's no way I'm explaining that to the kids . . . maybe I should stick with Laurie Berkner.

1/15/2009

I'm starting to worry that I'll write about the same thing I've written about in a previous sentence; I've produced more content than I can keep track of-- the theme and possibly even the words, structure and syntax are bound to repeat . . . but can you plagiarize yourself?

1/14/2009

I've been blogging long enough that the content of my sentences have exceeded the span my memory, and I'm worried I might repeat myself-- use an idea that I've already used-- can you plagiarize yourself?

1/13/2009

Although there was much naysaying and the intelligence of my source was doubted, it turned out that my information was good-- when I plugged our house's old aerial antenna wire into our brand new HDTV, I was rewarded with more channels than usual (four NBC channels, etc.) and many in HD with better clarity and less compression than HD through cable.

Adults Say The Darndest Things

I've been playing basketball on Sunday mornings at seven AM (it's the interim between outdoor and indoor soccer) and, while I waited to sub in, I chatted with an Italian looking guy in his forties about sports (very difficult for me now, as I only watch the Giants and can't remember the names of any other players, but I certainly wasn't going to mention what I'm currently reading-- Rapture for the Geeks, a breezy book about the possible coming of the technological singularity-- that's just not appropriate at a pick-up game) and he expressed his confidence that the Giants would beat the Eagles, and I concurred and then he said to me, "Plus, it's so hard to win anything with a black quarterback . . . you know, it's only been done once" so I looked down to see if I had the words Fellow Racist written on my t-shirt, and then, luckily, after a very long and awkward pause, I was able to remember that Doug Williams was the black QB with the Superbowl Ring, so I said his name and ended a very weird moment for me-- but who says that to someone they barely know? . . . and now that the Giants are out, I'm kind of rooting for the Eagles just so I can hear how this guy explains it-- maybe he'll tell me Donovan McNabb is an octoroon or something.

1/11/2009

Joseph Campbell said, "Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy," which I found to be true when I actually bought some music on the computer (a download of the new Franco retrospective, Francophonic, which is awesome) and Rhapsody charged my credit card but the music didn't download, but now we find mercy when we call Heaven, which happens to be Bangalore, where merciful folks man the phones and forgive our technological sins (my temporary internet files were full of cookies and other data, thus blocking the download.)

1/10/2009

Next Alumni Day, I'm going to remember to wear a William and Mary shirt; this year I was walking punch-line, as I forgot to wear college apparel and was wearing a fleece that has OLD NAVY emblazoned across the chest-- every wannabee wag said, "What? Did you go to 'Old Navy'?"

1/9/2008

Sometimes, when I'm looking stuff up on the Internet (names of actors, how to bend warped lumber, DLP vs. plasma vs. LCD vs. 1080p vs. 1080i vs. 720 p, facts about Newark politicians, movie reviews) I get the feeling that I'm no smarter than the Internet, and that the Internet isn't very smart.

1/8/2009

We entered a new realm last night, a realm where me, my wife, and my three year old son can consume an entire large pizza (Alex didn't want any)-- but far scarier is that my child has become my rival, as I was shutting the pizza box, Ian spied that there was one piece left and he "called" it-- he said, "Don't eat that last piece, I want it," which is my role in the family, to finish off all the extra food, but obviously those days are gone so if I'm looking skinny, you'll know why.

1/7/2009

I highly recommend Hurry Down Sunshine, a memoir by Michael Greenberg: he recounts when his fifteen year old daughter Sally suddenly became completely insane (manic depressive and bipolar)-- it is gripping, scary, and disturbing, but also has a large cast of New York characters to lighten it up, plus he adds some historical parallels (I never knew James Joyce's daughter Lucia was insane) but I'm not sure if I can recommend the highly lauded posthumous novel 2666 by the Chilean Robert Bolano: I'm only a quarter of the way through the thousand pages, and it is Pynchonesque in size and form, and Borgesian in theme . . . Hurry Down Sunshine is a compelling portrait of insanity, 2666 is actually making me insane.

1/6/2009

Yesterday was certainly the Monday to end all Mondays, but here's a fact to get you through: by the end of the month, the sun will be rising thirteen minutes earlier than it did yesterday (7:08 instead of 7:21) and it will be setting twenty nine minutes later-- 5:15 instead of 4:46 . . . so there are bright times in all of our futures.

1/5/2009

If it wasn't for playing Rock Band on the Wii, I would have never known that Mick Jagger sings "war children" during "Give Me Shelter"-- I thought he said "whooooah."

1/4/2009

It's worth reading The Northern Clemency just to hear the British slang term "hairy bucket" used in context (the picture has no relevance, it popped up when I Googled the phrase).

1/3/2009

During our trip to Vermont, Ian (three years old) slept in the same room as Catherine and I; one night he woke us with the exclamation My Monkey is Dead! . . . and after he said it he immediately fell back to sleep, but it took me longer, I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

1/2/2009

A friend got an iTouch for Christmas, and now, like Marion Barry was on crack, she is on the internet-- you can't say two words to her before she's Google-ing something you said-- so my 2009 prediction is that this information super-highway will turn humanity down a bad road; it will be used for pornography, gambling, identity theft, mindless frivolity (such as a video of a dude playing Europe's "The Final Countdown" on a kaz00keylele-- you've got to check it out) and worse, far far worse.

How Big Is Your Set?

My New Year's Resolution is 1080p, yes my set is bigger than Notorious B.I.G-- I'll plagiarize his rap because his words don't miss . . . "when I was dead broke, man, I couldn't picture this/ 50 inch screen, money green leather sofa/ got two rides, limousine with a chauffeur/ phone bill's about two G's flat/ no need to worry, my accountant handles that"-- so thanks to DLP technology and the miracle of deflationary tech-pricing, I'm living like a dead rap star.

So True

In the middle of the night, nothing tastes better than a glass of cold tap water.

The Top Two Movie Lines of 2008!

I know you've all been waiting with bated breath, and it's finally finished . . . Dave's Top Two Movie Lines of 2008 (one of the movies isn't even from 2008, but I saw it in 2008 and that's what is important) and so, here they are, in no particular order:

1) I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!  (from There Will Be Blood, delivered by Daniel Day Lewis)
  
2) Isn't it beautiful? Even though it's where everyone died (from Battle Royale, said by the girl that survived a three day organized slaughter-fest on a deserted island, she delivered it as they drove away on a speedboat-- it's one of those movies you have to see to believe: totally compelling, though the premise is ridiculous, and it's directed by a really famous Japanese director, Kinji Fukasaka, who you'd think is too old for that sort of thing-- he's 71-- but he's good at seamlessly and effortlessly mixing genres, like Bong Joon-ho does in that South Korean movie The Host, which I also really liked).

Double Parallel Movie Madness

Two recommendations with parallels: Slumdog Millionaire is like City of God, but in Mumbai instead of Rio de Janeiro-- I give it sixteen million blinded child beggars out of a possible eighteen million; and Philip Hensher's The Northern Clemency is like a Richard Russo novel-- omnipotent, sprawling, and generous-- set in the suburbs of England-- I give it nine moors out of a possible ten.