Sentence of Dave

The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)

Happy Birthday Catherine (So Glad You're Not Barking Mad)

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My lovely, charming, beautiful and-- most importantly-- sane and logical wife turns 40 today . . . and, after watching the new Errol Morris...
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Fat Man Laughing (A Bonus Sentence For A Sad Occasion)

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Comic Patrice O'Neal died today at age 41 and I will miss him . . . but at least the memory of this altercation will be preserved forev...

A Perfect Fiction

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Though it is satire, this Onion article is so dead-on it deserves a Pulitzer (thanks Jen for passing it along . . . it certainly captures t...
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Jake Epping = Stephen King

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I finished the new Stephen King novel-- all 849 pages-- in less than a week, and while at the start I thought it was going to be about how ...

Tradition=Work

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One person's tradition is another person's chore (we always string Christmas lights around every tree on the property, it's a t...
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How To Deal With The Grandfather Paradox

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Stephen King dismisses the "grandfather paradox" and other meta-logical nonsense (such as the craziness developed in the great bu...

A Good Trade

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Last Saturday morning-- like clockwork-- the cold weather worked its black magic on the driver-side door of my Jeep , and so once again-- if...

An Ode to Thanksgiving

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There are four major reasons why Thanksgiving is the best holiday: 1) no gift-giving 2) no compulsory decorating 3) cranberry sauce 4) footb...
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Lesson Two: How To Fix Stuff

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My DVD drive was jammed shut at work on Monday, and so I tried to get it open by double clicking "eject" on the computer, but that...

Lesson One: How To Look Cool in Front of The Young Folks

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At LA Fitness, in order to procure a basketball from the front desk, you must provide some collateral-- I usually give them my keys-- but ...
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The Second Greatest Victory In My Life

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While The Greatest Victory in my Life is the fact that I won a Cake Decorating Contest . . . because never in my wildest dreams did I ever ...
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Fun and Self-Flagellation (This Kid Goes To 11)

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My six year old son Ian has recently taken up a new habit-- he does it when he is being chased and needs to accelerate in order to escape ...

Pimples: Then and Now

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When I was a teenager, pimples were the bane of my existence-- high school was already socially taxing enough, without having to face the d...
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Sometimes Life is Soulful and Beautiful Like a Glowing Bluebird

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During season two of Bored to Death , when Jonathan gets involved in an "open relationship" with Stella and her old boyfriend, W...

The Moon is Missing But I Can See Uranus

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My son Alex's homework Monday night was to look at the moon and then both describe and sketch what he saw, but we couldn't see the m...
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When Push Comes To Shove

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The ostensible setting of Aravind Adiga's new novel Last Man in Tower is Mumbai, but the real setting is the ensemble cast of characte...
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Two Things That Are Good To Know

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We returned home from Disney on Saturday to find that something was wrong with our furnace (or to be precise, I should say our boiler . . ....
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The Two Scariest Rides at Disney (If You Are Claustrophobic)

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I went on all the rides at Disney last week, and this is a big deal for me, as even a merry-go-round can give me motion sickness, but I surv...

Krystina's Best Idea Ever

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Once in a while, regular people come up with fantastic ideas -- ideas as brilliant and world-changing as Einstein's Theory of Special Re...

Carousel of Torture

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Although I highly recommend The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World -- for the maps and the descriptions of rides, attractions, food, a...
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