Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
When You Leave the Doll's House You Become . . . Overwhelmed
›
I finished Henrik Ibsen's play A Doll's House this morning-- if you haven't read it (and I hadn't until now, though many of...
Dick Gibson Puts on Quite a Show
›
Stanley Elkin's novel The Dick Gibson Show-- published in 1970-- is the story of an itinerant radioman on an infinite apprenticeship wit...
Do Radical Islamic Terrorists Desire Red Mercury?
›
According to urban legend, "red mercury" is a incredibly rare substance which is attracted to gold and repelled by garlic, and it ...
4 comments:
The Test 24: Stacey Demands (More) Numbers
›
Stacey demanded another quiz about numbers and I was more than happy to comply; the result is the best episode of The Test yet . . . Cunnin...
2 comments:
Sorry Ian, But It's All Downhill From Here
›
Normally here at Sentence of Dave I like to focus on the life's negatives -- this is where I do my literary grousing and grapple with ex...
2 comments:
Forever Phones
›
I recently went off my parent's cell phone plan, and since I'm cheap and a disciple of Neal Postman -- and I sincerely haven't m...
3 comments:
Forever Stamps . . . Literally
›
Yesterday, on my wife's instructions, I went to the post office and bought a roll of one hundred Forever Stamps and I had one envelope t...
Dave Unironically Attends a Zumba Class
›
After school on Thursday I attended my friend Stacey's renegade zumba class (it's renegade because she's not certified) and I am...
2 comments:
The World 2.0 Gets Dave All Wound Up
›
A perfect confluence of bizarre events nearly brought my brain to its knees recently, but luckily I have this blog where I can mix metaphors...
6 comments:
The End of an Era . . . The End of Madmen
›
I'm very sleepy this morning because we watched the final episode of Mad Men last night, and while I won't reveal any spoilers to t...
3 comments:
I've Only Known Enrico Palazzo For 27 Years
›
Friday night my wife went out with some ladies, and the boys and I were left to our own devices; we decided on take-out burgers and film a...
3 comments:
An Autumn Miracle
›
Last week, I was walking home with the dog, annoyed that when I got back I would have to rake up all the wet leaves on my lawn and bag them-...
2 comments:
The Test 23: Princess Cunningham
›
In this week's episode of The Test , Princess Cunningham quizzes Stacey and I on all things Disney; I do poorly-- which is to be expecte...
The Truth About About Cats & Dogs & Fish & Birds & Pigs
›
Although people love to pontificate about the differences between cats and dogs, in a gastronomical sense they are the same: we don't ea...
Tennis for Men?
›
I always though a two-handed backhand was for kids and women, but apparently most men are hitting it now as well . . . and while I have a s...
2 comments:
This Might Be Farewell
›
In case I don't make it through the next couple of days, I'd like to thank all my readers for their encouragement and support . . . ...
4 comments:
Who Needs Chelsea?
›
While I was certainly impressed by the breadth of hip restaurants in Chelsea, if you don't feel like schlepping all the way to the city,...
4 comments:
More Wild News From Dave's Closet!
›
Not only did all my white socks disintegrate on the same day, but both my belts -- black and brown-- fell apart within a week . . . so I w...
2 comments:
The Test 22: Stacey's Songs (Have Still Got It Going On)
›
This episode of The Test is another musical clip quiz by Stacey: listen to the song snippets, identify the artists, and then see if you can...
Is Winter Coming?
›
Weirdly warm weather continued in New Jersey on Saturday, and to celebrate we played many outdoor sports-- aside from soccer . . . we've...
Reality Break
›
On Thursday my wife and I ditched the kids and the dog and all soccer-related events and essentially took a break from reality-- we went to ...
2 comments:
Instrumental Paradox
›
Why is jazz music so good and jazz singing so unbearable?
4 comments:
At a Loss to Avoid a Gain
›
If anyone knows how to avoid eating Halloween candy-- which now resides in giant bowls in my kitchen and is a very attractive nuisance-- wit...
2 comments:
Allegorical Cacti
›
At work on Monday I was called down to the office-- and teachers feel the same way as students when they are put in this position, as usuall...
9 comments:
Paper Clips, Trombones, Safety Pins, Coat Hangers and Bicycles
›
My son Ian forgot his trombone at school, but he did drag home the innards of an old desktop tower style computer because he thought his bro...
2 comments:
Dave Learns Three Things (and Connects Two of Them)
›
I learned two valuable things while listening to Dan Carlin's newest episode of Common Sense : The Show That Should Not Be . . . 1)...
The Test 21: Poker Face Off
›
This episode of The Test , which focuses on gambling and probability, might have simply been a straightforward display of Stacey and her bro...
Seriously? Halloween on a Saturday? Combined With Daylight Saving Time? Who Let This Happen?
›
I never galvanized the adults in my community to form PAH! (Parents Against Halloween!) and now we're all paying for it, stuck at home ...
Men and Women are a Little Different
›
The head of my department recently progressed from looking a little pregnant to looking very pregnant, and she's getting the usual curio...
It's That Most Wonderful Time of the Year . . . Again
›
Like the sands of the hourglass, so are the Sentences by Dave . . . and if you visit here daily, then you know to expect run-ons, awkwardnes...
2 comments:
Obama Almost Makes Dave Happy! But Ultimately Disappoints Him . . .
›
President Obama recently spoke out against the amount of "unnecessary" standardized testing in public schools, and proposed a cap ...
Dave Remarks on the World Series!
›
Let's go . . . meh.
2 comments:
Only In America
›
My friend Connell brought a special guest to the pub Thursday night-- a geo-political science professor on sabbatical from Israel for a year...
The Test 20: Stars, Caves . . . Whatever
›
This is my favorite episode of our podcast so far-- it's a festive mix of knowledge, judgement, ignorance, humor, tantrums, epistemolog...
The End is Nigh
›
Yesterday morning, I tried on two different jackets and BOTH of the zippers were broken . . . but my wife tells me there is some seamstress ...
I Quit, Franzen . . . and I Quit Franzen
›
Dear Jonathan Franzen, Regarding your new big book, Purity . . . not only was I NOT fooled by your clever ruse , but I'm also NOT foo...
3 comments:
The Slippery Slope to Dorkville
›
My son Alex checked out the Monster Manual , The Player's Handbook , and The Dungeon Master's Guide from the library this weekend, ...
This Beer Tastes Good
›
Once again, I've found a beer that tastes really good ( Sixpoint Sensi Harvest ) and once again, I neither have the discriminating pala...
2 comments:
I Don't Appreciate Your Ruse, Franzen
›
I found Jonathan Franzen's 2010 novel Freedom bloated and disagreeable (but I still enjoyed his hyper-realistic style) and I am feel...
The Test 19: Dating Stacey
›
In this episode of The Test you'll find out what information you would need to impress Stacey on a hypothetical first date-- it's a...
Could This Be a Game Show?
›
I do a lesson with my Composition class on removing the "clutter" from their writing-- I like to teach the lesson just after a st...
5 comments:
What the Teens are Talking About
›
As a high school teacher, I'm privy to the exciting social lives of teenagers . . . here's a snippet of conversation I overheard bet...
TV is Bad For Kids
›
Don't be fooled, even if your kid is watching something educational-- like a documentary about philately-- you still have to worry, as n...
Dogs Will be Dogs
›
It was yesterday morning, 6 AM, dark and chilly, and I was walking the dog . . . but I was in the home stretch, nearing my driveway-- the do...
3 comments:
The Test 18: Plants and Things
›
This episode of The Test is probably as close to educational as we'll ever come . . . we all performed so well that we didn't even ...
Garage Sale Day!
›
There is nothing quite like the mania to which my children and their gang of friends succumb during our town's "Garage Sale Day&quo...
Rock 'n' Roll Mathematics #1
›
There's a mathematical paradox in The Fabulous Thunderbird's song "Tuff Enuff" . . . if you work "twenty-four hou...
3 comments:
Words for Beyond Words
›
I finally finished Carl Safina's book Beyond Words: What Animals Think and Feel and it's one of the most powerful and moving things ...
2 comments:
Read This in the Voice of Stephen Wright
›
I finally sprung for a vanity license plate, but I don't want people to know how vain I am, so I got 58T * CA3 .
2 comments:
Open Letter to Tyreese
›
It's the zombie apocalypse and you're trudging through Georgia and the anti-theft tags at Kohls aren't going to trigger any a...
4 comments:
Dogs and (Sleeping) Kids . . . You've Gotta Love'em
›
Each morning, just before I leave for work, I go upstairs and give each of my children a kiss on the forehead-- they're always sound asl...
2 comments:
Keep On Chewing
›
Every season, The Walking Dead ramps up the gore a little more, but my wife and I are unfazed: sixty -plus episodes of zombie apocalypse h...
The Test 17: Financial Literacy (and Idiocy)
›
This week's episode of The Test is quick and painless (unlike last week's epic) and special guest Scott and I perform admirably on ...
Woe For the Modern Man
›
In 2012, Anne-Mare Slaughter explained "Why Women Still Can't Have It All" and though she took some flak for her hypothesis--...
2 comments:
Would Gandhi Curb Stomp a Bully?
›
On Friday, during the morning announcements, the principal reminded us that it is National Bullying Prevention Month-- and this is certainly...
3 comments:
Sitcoms and Everything Else: Now and Then
›
The difference between watching a sitcom in the 1980's and watching a sitcom in 2015 is this: back then, you were never quite sure what ...
Pathetic Fallacy
›
According to weather.com, the Northeast is in "the cone of uncertainty" as far as Hurricane Joaquin is concerned . . . but rea...
3 comments:
The Ultimate Wish: Combine These
›
I wish I were European, so I could wear a Speedo to my pool without irony . . . and not for the comfort (no chafing!) or the speed I'd g...
4 comments:
Hooray for Child Labor!
›
The boys and I were in a rush to get to a barbeque on Saturday (mainly because we were held up at the Rutgers/Kansas game, which was intoler...
1 comment:
She's Back and Less Fun Than Ever . . .
›
Our most popular episode of The Test is "Dating Cunningham" -- in it she reveals the secret topics and knowledge that will make ...
Dave Has a Revelation!
›
For the past ten years, I have used the same system to hang my clothes in my rather small closet in the corner of our bedroom-- I pile the c...
Small Town Life and Trampolines
›
I was walking the dog last week and I saw two guys rolling a giant trampoline down my street-- and this was something I had never seen befor...
5 comments:
Sitcoms of Dave
›
I know we're a bit behind the times in my family (my Shakespeare students were astounded that I didn't know that Anne Hathaway is...
1 comment:
The People Are All the Same?
›
I am rewatching Cheers on Netflix . . . I started with the pilot and I've made it to episode ten, " Endless Slumper "; the on...
6 comments:
It's Delicious . . . Enough Said
›
Stone Delicious IPA lives up to its name-- it's tasty, but not overwhelmingly hoppy, and at 7.7 percent alcohol, it packs quite a punch;...
4 comments:
If You're Going to Be Impressed, It Should Be By Captain Dacres
›
I am still plowing through Walter R. Borneman's 1812: The War That Forged a Nation , and while I'm not digesting all the names and d...
Slow Carb Diet Nearly Gets Me Fired
›
I've lost a few pounds in the past month, mainly due to to a "slow carb" diet-- instead of rice and tortillas and bread, I'...
2 comments:
Methinks We Know Our Shakespeare
›
On this new episode of The Test , special (but recurring) guest Alec challenges us with a Shakespeare quiz that even our British friends dee...
Breaking News from Dave's Sock Drawer!
›
Yesterday, I noticed that all my white athletic socks were torn through at the heel . . . is this a weird coincidence or an insidious plot o...
You Can't Forget What You Don't Remember
›
The de facto motto for 9/11 this year was "Never Forget" and while I don't think we are yet in jeopardy of nationwide amnesia ...
Mrs. X Finds X
›
My wife (otherwise known as Mrs. X) didn't fare particularly well on this recent Test about numbers, but that didn't stop her from ...
5 comments:
Time For a Life Change
›
After reading Carl Safina's description of elephant behavior in Ambolesi Park in Kenya-- the concerned mothers, the lost children, the p...
2 comments:
The Test 14: Number of the Dave
›
I thought this episode of The Test would be fun and easy-- an innocuous number association quiz-- but the ladies though differently . . . ...
Monday Mornings, You are a Giant Crayfish
›
If you're feeling extraordinary, proud and special, because you're a human and have such an advanced consciousness, read Carl Safina...
Diamond in the Instructions
›
I was channelling Ron Swanson the other night, drinking a scotch on the rocks while assembling a pub table and set of stools for the new and...
It's Raining Metaphors!
›
New Jersey recently had a long period of extremely hot and dry weather-- no rain for weeks-- and then massive downpours for a couple of days...
2 comments:
Edgar Allan Poe on Steroids
›
Kevin P. Keating's novel The Captive Condition is described on the inside cover as the story of "an idyllic Midwestern college t...
6 comments:
Irony Defined
›
I was telling a crowd of teachers in the English Office this story about how my younger son locked my older son out of the house-- and it w...
2 comments:
Moonrise Kingdom > The Life Aquatic
›
I thought I would hate this movie . . . but I loved it, and I thought it would be cheesy, but it's actually clever and zany and visua...
The Test 13: Stacey's Songs (Have Got It Goin' On)
›
This is my favorite episode of The Test so far . . . Stacey devised a musical clip quiz, and to pass, you must identify the songs and artis...
Attention NBC: Free Sitcom Idea!
›
This sitcom idea is inspired by a comment written by Clarence about my rave review of our new Shark NV500 Rotator vacuum . . . he speculate...
5 comments:
Some Kids Need a Visual Aid
›
I've decided I'm really going to crack down on cell-phone use in my classes this year, and so I read the kids the riot act on the fi...
2 comments:
The Test Episode 12: Acting!
›
Episode 12 of The Test has it all-- except Cunningham, who couldn't make it; some of the highlights include: 1) not one, but two spec...
Warning: Very Mundane Stuff
›
My wife bought a new vacuum, and it works exponentially better than our old vacuum; in fact, when we saw what the new vacuum sucked into the...
3 comments:
Ronald Reagan Needed Barry Goldwater . . . and American Politics Needs Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump
›
I was having trouble finishing Before the Storm , Rick Perlstein's book about the 1964 Lyndon Johnson/Barry Goldwater election, but Do...
7 comments:
Kids Trick You Into Thinking They Are Civilized
›
After a productive morning of podcasting, Stacey, Cunningham, my wife, Alex, Ian and I went out for Mexican food-- and Stacey treated the bo...
3 comments:
There Are Good Dogs and There are Bad Dogs
›
The Hand That Feeds You opens with a scene so grisly and disturbing that the rest of the book hangs under its shadow . . . and the fact...
3 comments:
‹
›
Home
View web version