Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Football, Soccer, and the Cinema
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Sunday's Seattle/Green Bay game was the first time all season that I watched an entire NFL game-- start to finish-- and while the finish...
46th Proverb of Dave
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Corn muffins are simply an excuse to eat lots of butter.
The 846th Proverb of Dave
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When you are old, you will accumulate too many extension cords.
The 77th Proverb of Dave
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When you sweep the kitchen, save some dust for next time.
2 comments:
More Ice
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Yesterday, my son Alex and his buddy Gary walked down near the river to play on the ice (not on the frozen river itself, which is forbidden ...
Chem for Dogs
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I'm not very strong in my comprehension of chemistry (in fact, I'm downright stupid when it comes to chemistry, as anyone who has ta...
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When Someone Makes Soup, You Eat It
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When your wife slaves all day over a batch of home-made chicken soup, then come dinner, you eat the soup (I made the mistake of making a few...
This is My Best Effort
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My son Alex passed his stomach virus to Ian and me, and while the really gross part is over, my body is so sore and worn-out that all I can ...
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You Can Pick You Nose But You Can't Pick Your Kids
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While my son Alex still habitually picks his nose and eats it-- which disgusts me to no end-- I am also proud to say that he can now execute...
2 comments:
January > Teetotaling
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I think all of us living in the Northern Hemisphere will agree that January is a terrible time for resolutions-- especially ones that involv...
5 comments:
The Wild Fern: Seventeen Stars Out of Five
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Fans of The Dave know that I tend to be fairly binary with my reviews-- things are either "the best in the world" or "the wor...
3 comments:
Meaner Girls
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If you're a fan of Mean Girls (and if you're not a fan of Mean Girls , then you'd better become one) then you'll love Liane ...
2 comments:
Those Clever Teenagers and Their Electronic Devices
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Not sure if this goes into the category of "something I should have known . . . but didn't because I'm old and/or stupid" ...
5 comments:
At Least I'm Being Reasonable
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I wrote a fairly lame post the other day for Gheorghe:The Blog in which I listed and discussed some of the "logic" I use when ins...
Candy For Men
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Black licorice is slightly more badass than a bag full of Gummi bears.
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Did Ajim Suck Out Michael Rockefeller's Brains?
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This is the essential question at the heart of Carl Hoffman's book Savage Harvest: A Tale of Cannibals, Colonialism, and Michael Rock...
There's Something Perfect About This (Unlike Driving a Motorcycle on the Turnpike)
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There's something beautiful and appropriate about this progression: Highroads Harley Davidson in Highland Park closed down a few years ...
Mnemosyne Demands a Sacrifice
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My wife has to remember a wealth of information on a daily basis-- she has a lot of responsibility at her job and in our community, and she&...
5 comments:
You CAN Tune a Fish!
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For those of you who need one more miracle to make it through the holiday season, this will do it for you: this event is described in The Ac...
Vacations With Kids Are Not Really Vacations
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Another phenomenal Vermont vacation, full of snowboarding, skiing, great local food/beer, and plenty of anxiety (not only anxiety from supe...
Read My Lips: No New Resolutions
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I'm going to be honest here: the only New Year's Resolution I ever followed through on was in 2011, when I resolved to eat more tac...
4 comments:
Dave Has a Miraculous Post-Christmas Vision!
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When your mind strays outside the established box-walls, then you will certainly suffer disdain and criticism, even from those who profess t...
9 comments:
A Book For People Who Thought "The Road" Was Too Depressing
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Station Eleven , by Emily St. John Mandel, adds nothing new to the apocalypse trope-- in fact, I think she keeps it simple on purpose: a kil...
3 comments:
Some of the Best Sentences Ever Written (By Me . . . This Year)
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Once again, it's time for me to arbitrarily choose my favorite posts of the year ; I hope you enjoy them and perhaps 2015 will provide m...
Unwarranted Death Stare
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So I'm walking down the hall, minding my own business, trying to get to my period 10/11 Creative Writing class on time and in front of m...
If You Have a Cool Jazz Voice, Then You Don't Need Transitions
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If you've got a cool jazz DJ voice, like Venus Flytrap or Gary Walker (from WBGO out of Newark) then you don't need to use transit...
A First World Conundrum
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Does anyone else have trouble napping when the cleaning woman is doing her thing?
New Rack vs. New Knobs
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My wife is wonderful and amazing just as she is, but that doesn't mean she can't occasionally improve things . . . so this year, for...
4 comments:
Seriously, Sirius?
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So I'm walking my dog and it starts to rain and it's cold and damp and I'm hurrying home and he pulls me to a complete stop so h...
2 comments:
Fell On Black Days
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Sunday was the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, and thus the shortest day and longest night of the year-- if you care to know how...
3 comments:
The Significance of #47
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Having this blog has made it easy to keep track of the important things in my life, such as the number of tacos I ate in 2011 (200!) and th...
2 comments:
Ostrich Philosophy
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My son Alex came home Tuesday with a nasty scrape on his arm, an injury he suffered in what he named "the arena"-- a free-form fig...
Enough About Serial Already
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Here is a piece of graffito I read on a condom machine in a bar bathroom: "this gum tastes funny."
Now That Serial Is Over, What Will My Brain Do?
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The podcast Serial has finally reached its conclusion-- and while the ending might not satisfy the binge-listeners, anyone who listened t...
4 comments:
Of Course We Do (Not)
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My son Alex explained to us that he was making a movie at school and then he asked: "Do we have any snow leopard costumes?"
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Like Spider Like Son
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Although I am a competent basketball player now, this wasn't the case in college-- in fact, the only basketball skill I possessed back...
2 comments:
Surprise!
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Fans of my idiotic ramblings know that I hate surprise parties-- I think people should be allowed to prepare in advance for social events (a...
5 comments:
The Way We Were
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For the past two weeks, my children have been starring in an epic saga of forgetfulness; they forgot their homework and the materials they n...
3 comments:
How to Write the Comment of the Year
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There are only sixteen days left in 2014, so if you're looking to win the prestigious Sentence of Dave Comment of the Year you'd bet...
4 comments:
Physics Equation with Dark Matter
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Black fleece pants + black jacket + black rainy night + black Nike sneakers + black dog = almost getting hit by a car while walking the dog.
5 comments:
I Finally Understand Madmen
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It took me a while to get it, but I have a good excuse-- I was distracted by all the outfits: Meghan's beautiful outfits and Peggy's...
3 comments:
Six Ways to Annoy Your Friends (Now!)
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If you read the new Steven Johnson book How We Got to Now: Six Innovations That Made the Modern World then you will learn lots of annoy...
4 comments:
In the Old Days, If You Didn't Go to Church, You Got Whipped (Cream?)
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I haven't been very zealous about my children's religious attendance (let's be frank here, I haven't even been mildly intere...
1 comment:
Tony Luke's is Better Than Jim's (and Other Notes for Future Trips to Philly)
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Catherine and I spent the weekend in Philly (sans kids) and I'd like to note some highs and lows for both my readers and my future self:...
2 comments:
Sarah Koenig, Laura and the Dude Profanely Grapple in the In-Between Place (Philosophical Shit Part 2)
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If you go 38 minutes and 40 seconds into Episode 8 of Serial , then you get to hear Sarah Koenig set up what she calls "her favorite ...
Philosophical Shit
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I think teachers often forget Aristotle's idea that "the roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet" because they a...
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Can Anyone Peel an Egg?
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I've got decent fine motor skills-- I can shoot a dart, play lead guitar, and tweeze an ear-hair with unerring accuracy-- so why can'...
3 comments:
What the Kids Are Saying . . .
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Here is some of the slang I've picked up from the teenagers this school year: apparently, if you are over forty and some young person ...
Fermi's Paradox and The Great Filter Wish You a Happy Holiday Season
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This year I'm not going to get so upset over the rampant materialism and consumerism (and the resulting environmental disaster) caused b...
2 comments:
Real vs. "Real"
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Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) is a film with many layers-- but the layers are shallow . . . we never leave the epidermis-...
It Works For Me
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I've found that in the winter, if I take my dog for a bike ride or a hike through the park, I get far less muddy if I tuck my sweat pant...
3 comments:
Enough of That . . . Or Is It?
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I finished Dana Goldstein's book The Teacher Wars: A History of America's Most Embattled Profession and while there's certainly...
Miraculous Ironic Juxtaposition with Exceptional Significance
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As I got in my 2001 green and tan Subaru Outback (this will be important later in the sentence) at the local Quikcheck, I noticed that a...
3 comments:
Ring Out the Bells!
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Let it be known that on the morning of 26th of November, in the year 2014, at approximately 6:55 AM, that Dave parked his minivan perfectly ...
Reading for Pleasure is Fun, But What About Reading For Anger?
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I am bashing my way through Dana Goldstein's comprehensive history of public school teaching in America, and while I'm not exactly e...
This Is the Closest My Dog Will Get to Downhill Skiing (and the Closest I Will Get To Being a Chairlift)
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I've already discussed the pros and cons of the Walky Dog Hands Free Bicycle Leash but here is a practical use for this wonderful contr...
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You Just Keep On Pushing My Love Over the Borderline
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Apparently, there are dozens of inland immigration checkpoints well within the U.S. border and many U.S. citizens are fighting mad about the...
1 comment:
Wet Dreams?
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It's easy to fall asleep to the patter of a steady rain, but the erratic drops from a leaky faucet will keep you up all night.
The Tritium Age of Podcasts
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For the past few years, I've grown more and more enthusiastic about podcasts . . . and I wasn't sure why this happened, as the techn...
Serial Hyperbole
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For nine weeks, I've been touting the podcast Serial , and people are finally starting to listen to me-- in fact, there's even a Sla...
Stuff I'll Never Write
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Since I'm never going to write this brilliant treatise, I'm offering it up to the internet: the trial of Hermione in Shakespeare'...
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One Two Three . . . Four?
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Sometimes, early in the morning, when I'm counting scoops of ground coffee as I dump them into the coffee-maker, I realize that I haven&...
2 comments:
Phones Have Little Screens
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Here are two e-mails from my friend Connell, after I asked him to check out a place on Airbnb: 1) This one looks really tiny to me . . . I...
2 comments:
Meta-Collisions
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We all know that texting and driving is a deadly combination , but what about all the crashes caused by seeing someone texting and driving,...
How to Be a Lousy Neighbor (in the Fall)
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I did some research, and-- if you like your lawn-- then you have to rake up the leaves in your backyard, otherwise they will smother the gra...
Savages Lives Up to Its Title
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Even for Don Winslow , Savages is especially brutal: two hydroponic marijuana growers take on the Baja Cartel, there is an abduction, and m...
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Sometimes a Tie Isn't Like Kissing Your Sister (Sometimes a Tie is Awesome)
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Friday Night, Liz and Eric hosted the 5th Annual Scary Story Contest (the prompt was "The Hive" and there were eight stories in a...
The Only Good Thing About Umbrellas . . .
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I am admittedly an umbrellist-- I hate those things -- but I have found one good use for them: the I'm going to a picnic and I'm bri...
I Wear Ugly Shoes Because Sitting is the New Smoking
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So if you haven't heard, sitting is the new smoking (even if you exercise) and chairs are the unassuming enemies that live among us (fo...
Holy Cow! Or Should I Say Holy Owl?
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If you haven't seen the documentary series The Staircase then I pity you . . . but if you have seen it, then you need to listen to the...
If You're Near Phoenicia . . .
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If you're anywhere near Phoenicia, New York, make sure to stop at the Phoenicia Diner . . . the turkey chili is the best I've ever ...
Aphorism of Ian
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My son accused my wife of sitting on his stuffed monkey and she said, "No I didn't!" and then -- much to her surprise-- Ian pu...
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Just Because You Live in Woodstock, Doesn't Mean You Know About Woodstock
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For the November long weekend, we rented a fantastic house (Airbnb!) in the scenic little fly-fishing town of Phoenicia up in the Catskills-...
3 comments:
What's Wrong With My Head?
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When I wear a rain-jacket, the hood always covers my eyes-- I don't know if my neck is too short or my eyes are too high on my head or m...
5 comments:
Even Bruce Loves a Reading List
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Even though Bruce Springsteen and I only have three books in common on our favorite books list ( Moby Dick, Blood Meridian, The Brothers Ka...
3 comments:
Dave Receives a Compliment Meant For His Wife
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My wife has been multitasking like a madwoman lately-- work craziness, packing for our son's school camping trip, making lunches for eve...
Trick and Treat
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Despite being exhausted from non-stop soccer events, I decided to so something fun and ambitious at my son Ian's Thursday night soccer p...
Dave Makes His List
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My buddy Rob over at Gheorghe: The Blog assigned his staff an impossible task: make a list of your ten all-time favorite songs; though I...
Too Much Perspective
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A few weeks ago, I got an outside perspective on my personality (and it wasn't particularly flattering) and while I've processed it...
2 comments:
Ironic Kid Holiday Collision
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My son Alex lost his tooth at school on Halloween, but the Tooth Fairy must have been working overtime because she forgot to take it and lea...
Dave is Headed for a Book Binge
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I read Don Winslow's tour-de-force drug cartel novel The Power of the Dog over the summer, and I just finished his surfing/crime thrill...
Best Halloween Treat Ever
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My dog Sirius provided me with a delectable Halloween treat-- two engorged ticks-- each the size, color and consistency of a plump blueberry...
2 comments:
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