At Least I'm Being Reasonable

I wrote a fairly lame post the other day for Gheorghe:The Blog in which I listed and discussed some of the "logic" I use when instructing my children how to behave-- and since writing the post, I have meditated deeply on the issue (and plagiarized a few ideas from the comments) and now I've produced a more comprehensive list . . . if you've got any other good ones, leave them in the comments and I will do the honor of stealing them from you:

1) because I said so;

2) because kids are starving in Bangladesh/China/India/Cleveland;

3) because that's disgusting;

4) because if you don't get it done, mom will go nuts on you;

5) because that's incredibly stupid and if you're going to do that, you need to wear a helmet;

6) because we love you;

7) because you're spoiled and need to suffer;

8) because our family is a team and we need to cooperate;

9) because you never see your mother and me behave like that;

10) because you're damaging our family's reputation;

11) because you don't know good music;

12) because in the Old West, if you cheated at cards, they shot you;

13) because stress kills, and you're killing me;

14) because people who know how to do math actually get jobs and move out of the house;

15) because if you don't get enough sleep, you're atrocious;

16) because you don't belong indoors, so get the hell outside;

17) because that's what you need to do if you own a dog;

18) because screens have ambient light that keeps you awake when you need sleep;

19) because I need a nap;

20) because if you don't wash your hands, shower and eat your fish and vegetables then you'll get scurvy/goiter/Lyme's disease and/or Ebola and your gums will bleed and you'll grow a football sized lump on your neck and your blood will be full of parasites and your eyes will explode.