Everything is More Difficult Than It Looks on YouTube

I got a pair of GoSports Bamboo cornhole boards for Father's Day. Regulation size. But, apparently, if you want them to hold up, you have to finish them yourself.

I got some help from my artistic son Ian, but this still proved harder than it looks. There are many, many YouTube videos on the subject. The guys in them are enthusiastic and competent. Like this guy:

Since I do things half-assed, we didn't follow all those instructions. Instead of using rollers, we found some gray and black cans of spray paint and primer in the shed. We decided to use those colors. I didn't want to go out and buy a bunch of paint and rollers and stuff. We primed it gray, taped off some triangles, masked the rest, sprayed the triangles black, and then Ian tried to paint a fish on the board. That didn't work out so well.

We found some yellow spray paint, so we reset and repainted and then made a stencil of a sun. A sun seemed perfect because if you screw up a bit and the paint bleeds then it still looks like a sun, just with some extra photons racing away from the gigantic explosive ball of hydrogen and helium. The sun should also prove to be a good target for the bean bag. Hit it and the bag will slide at the hole.

The last step is ridiculous. You need to seal the board with either polyurethane or polyacrylic. I chose polyurethane because though it is uglier and gives the board a weird amber sheen, it makes it impervious to water.

Folks recommend five to ten coats of the stuff. It takes about two hours to dry in between coats. TEN COATS? Fuck that. I did five. I'm always impressed by the time and patience these DIY folks possess.

You have to sand the board before you apply the last coat. My boards are fairly (but not perfectly) smooth. You use a foam brush and it's hard to apply an even coat. Polyurethane is thick and gooey. The only way to get it off your hands is with vegetable oil. Grossness all around.

I hope I don't have to do this again anytime soon.

Now I'm supposed to wait 72 hours before using the boards. 72 hours! This is insane. I really want to throw a beanbag at my newly finished board, but I'll have to wait until Sunday to do so.