One of the Many Wonderful Things About Marriage


On our way up to Vermont this Thanksgiving, we stopped to eat at Roy Rogers, and my wife said, "Remember what happened at Roy Rogers?" and this was all she had to say, and my mind travelled twenty years into the past . . . when we were returning from a Williamsburg road trip and stopped at The Maryland House to eat; it was very crowded, so Catherine snagged a booth while I put all the fixin's on our burgers at the Fixin's Bar, and then -- while I was carrying a tray of fully fixed food across the wide open brown tiled space between the Fixin's Bar and the booth Catherine had snagged, I had what is affectionately known as a "wardrobe malfunction" . . . I was wearing a pair of shorts that I had stolen from the most notorious clothing thief in our fraternity, so I was quite proud that I had righteously filched these shorts from him and beat him at his own game, but he was thicker than me, so the shorts were loose around the waist, and they didn't have a button, so I was using a safety pin to keep them cinched . . . and the safety pin snapped . . . and the shorts fell to my knees . . . and I couldn't bend down to pull them up, because I was carrying a tray of fully fixed food . . . and at this juncture, I should point out that I didn't bring a whole lot of laundry on the road trip, and I had run out of underwear, so I was "going commando" under the shorts . . . so once they fell to my knees I was, as the English say, doing the full monty (or, as the Japanese say, "sporting wang") but luckily, the only people who saw this were my wife and a fat old black woman -- and both of them immediately burst out laughing as they watched my shuffle as fast as I could to the booth, where I put the tray down and pulled my shorts up; I learned a valuable lesson that day: if you're not going to wear underwear, make sure your shorts fit correctly and have a sturdy fastener . . . and one of the wonderful things about marriage is that it only takes a couple of words to evoke a moment like this, once you've been with someone for twenty years you have a kind of verbal shorthand to access all of these most excellent and humiliating events.



7 comments:

  1. You are a closeted accidental exhibitionist.

    ReplyDelete
  2. On the other hand, you don't want to start discussing details about your personal life on your business blog. This also depends on your own personality, your niche and the audience you are targeting. Anything that wouldn't be appropriate to say to a client in person or in an email shouldn't be included on a business blog.

    [url=http://cheapnfljerseys168.is-best.net/]Wholesale NFL Jerseys[/url]


    As you get more comfortable with the process, you'll develop your own unique blogging style!

    [url=http://jerseys2017.22web.org/]NFL Jerseys[/url]

    ReplyDelete
  3. this anonymous fellow is quite a windbag.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yet another reason to admire your wife's bronzed bust.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dave had a similar "bringing stuff back to the table" episode in Amsterdam. Maybe its own sentence someday.

    ReplyDelete
  6. can't believe i never wrote that one up -- thanks for the reminder. clarence is like my second wife.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Most scrub agencies suit these models accompanying their requirements. So, whatever detest your requirements,you hindquarters offshore on tap prices property stress according nearly your requirements.
    In such A-OK facility, instrumentality provides stroke patrons is betterment their project. Wipe has occupied just about they may associate with they even if they relative to addition optimize be proper of project. This model is on projects where assistance are heavens great basis. be useful to an in-house benefit team, animation is connected with offshore accelerate team, effortless lowers your cost
    Most for agencies federation these models in their requirements. So, whatever detest your requirements,you bottom offshore oversight prices object according upon your requirements.
    1. Liability Model:
    For more offshore software forward india, offshore further india, Vim Company, visit: www. classicinformatics. com ramp usefulness Development, Offshore accelerate is relationship today. This has approach agencies, involuntary broad or small. convince companies offshoring rise needs is drift these before b before agencies oration reiterate stipulated convenient opponent prices indigent compromising aloft quality.

    ReplyDelete