The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Possum Week
I was walking my dog early in the morning-- before sunrise-- and it was foggy, moonless, and still; suddenly he lunged at a gray cat on the sidewalk . . . I was able to yank him away before he got too close-- but this cat reacted oddly, instead of arching its back and hissing, the cat collapsed into a lifeless lump, and upon closer inspection, I realized it was not a cat, but a possum, and it was actually playing possum . . . I had the urge to kick it, to see it come back to life, but I couldn't get any closer because my dog was going bananas . . . so later that day I told the tale to my kids, who were fascinated with this odd marsupial that lives among us, and then two days later-- miraculously-- when my wife and children were visiting "Field Station Dinosaurs," a leafy park in Seacaucus filled with animatronic dinosaurs (I couldn't go because of my stupid pulled quad muscle) my son Ian was selected to "play possum" during a live action dinosaur show; according to my wife, the MC asked for a volunteer who knew how to "play possum" and Ian raised his hand and he was chosen to come on stage . . . and when the MC asked him to "play dead," my wife said Ian closed his eyes and stiffly fell over backward and then never moved, despite the investigations of a giant T. Rex . . . and though Ian claims he wasn't scared at all, my wife has her doubts (and, if you look at the above photo of Ian being nuzzled by the T. Rex, that thing is damned scary).
I can't believe you'd kick a possum-playing possum. Do you kick your kids when they play possum?
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a like button...
ReplyDeletemy rule of thumb is this: if it's not moving, kick it!
ReplyDeleteand you'd have to access this through facebook to have a like button . . . but what do like? the sentence, or kicking children who are playing possum?
ReplyDeleteWait. There are dinosaurs in Secaucus?
ReplyDeletethere are dinosaurs in the creta-seacaucus.
ReplyDelete