So now that all the uproar over Daylight Saving Time is over, let pitch my plan to you-- and I will admit that when I first explained this plan to my students and colleagues, they laughed at me-- but now I know how to approach the matter in the proper manner, so please bear with me . . . I will begin by asking a few simple questions:
1) is this the age of computers?
and (of course) the answer is "yes"
2) what is 2 times 30?
and (of course) the answer is 60
3) were the children tired the Monday morning after Daylight Savings Time?
and (of course) the answer is "yes"-- so when I propose this I want you to think about the children, all the tired, bleary eyed children . . . the children who don't get enough sleep because they want to watch the Super Bowl, the children who have to stay up late on a Monday night to watch the NCAA Championship, these aggrieved children . . . and so here is my plan, my plan for these children: instead of "springing ahead" an hour all at once, we "spring ahead" two minutes a day for a month . . . computers take care of the time-shift, and if you miss a few days on clocks that need to be set manually, there's no real problem . . . and so you can make a difference in the life of a child, for the low cost of two minutes a day, a mere two minutes a day and you can save a child, just two minutes a day . . . think about it.
You care about the children about as much as you care about Canada. You just don't like to be inconvenienced, and you absoultely hate anyone telling you what to do and how to do it, much less the government.
ReplyDeleteY2K created an unnecessary uproar; the Dave Plan would have the simpletons in hysterics, dozens of schoolkids legitimately tardy for class, and the guy who operates the Colgate Clock in Jersey City furious with you. (And no way the union goes along with it.)
i care about canada! especially rachel mcadams.
ReplyDelete