One Way to Earn a Buck
Last Saturday after my work-out at the gym I went to pick up my kids from the Kids Klub supervised play area, and the girl-- a new girl-- said that my kids "earned a dollar" and she really wanted me to take this dollar and split it between Alex and Ian but I refused, of course . . . but she insisted that they deserved it for some game they were playing and I just wanted to get out of there so I said fine, I'd make change in the car, but as we were walking across the parking lot Alex told me the whole story: he was drawing on the computer and Ian was pestering him so much that he punched Ian in the eye and they got into some kind of hysterical fight and she essentially paid them to be good, so I made them march back in and tell the lady that they didn't deserve the dollar and then give the dollar back, which they did (while crying hysterically) and this truly makes me wonder just what the fuck is going on with my kids when I'm not watching.
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11 comments:
Awesome!
that's free enterprise at work, dave. you just started them down the path to socialism.
what i learned in the various books i've been reading, including "drive," is you can't offer extrinsic motivation for things that aren't menial. they should just want to be good. or not.
So, this is how you justify your lack of responsibility for the behavior of your kids? You read it in a book? I'm going to use that the next time I get a call from one of my kid's teachers. "Dave read a book where someone said they should just want to be good. Talk to the hand."
i'm not justifying it-- i made them give back the dollar! i don't want them to be good for external rewards, they just have to be good. but i'll give them a reward for something obviously unfun, like cleaning out the gutters. being able to play at the play gym shouldn't be something that needs a reward-- that's a reward in itself.
Dude, we all behave “good” because of extrinsic motivation. The reason I don’t punch you in the eye is not because I “want to be good”. It’s because I might not be invited over your house again to savor Catherine’s awesome meatballs. Our kids misbehave because they don’t think they will be beaten if they get caught, like we were when we were kids. I think we need to follow through more on our threats to beat them. I’m getting the wooden spoon out as soon as I get home!
"savor catherine's awesome meatballs."
i'm telling her that . . .
and that's ridiculous-- my motivation to do menial taks like make the kid's lunch or sweep the floor may be caused by catherine's meatballs-- but my motivation to do general good, like provide wonderful advice and content for free on the interent, is altruistic.
I thought you ran this site for the advertising revenue, hence the shameless cross-promotion.
you missed my point. alex and ian were on the verge of executing a unique and potentially highly profitable business model. and you, essentially 'the state', denied them their duly earned profit. revolutions have been launched over lesser provocations.
i got rid of that so that i can fool myself into thinking that i provide a public service.
the advertising, i mean.
you do raise an interesting point about the money-- maybe i should just let their business be "being bad" and see where it gets them.
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