The Test 80 . . . Dave Descends into Darkness



If you thought you were going to escape my semi-annual DST rant, you've got another thing coming-- and while I understand great forces are at work with this policy, forces that want us to consume more Halloween candy and more golf balls-- I'd like us for a moment to consider the feelings and emotions of our loyal four-legged friends . . . what have they done to deserve this shift? why must they be punished for a capitalist conspiracy to make us shop more, consume more, and play more golf? my dog is like a clock, he sidles down the stairs every morning at 5:50 AM to go for his morning constitutional and subsequent defecation, but this morning I had to drag him out of bed and though we took our usual route, he wasn't ready to move his bowels yet-- though he tried-- but the poor fellow was confused by this arbitrary shift in his circadian rhythm . . . so lets end DSL for the children, for the dogs, and for all the good people that have to go to work early in the morning (or just keep DSL and let kids get hit by school buses in the darkness of winter) and if you liked this glimpse inside the darkness of Dave's brain, then you'll certainly enjoy the latest episode of The Test, which details how Dave's life is spiralling out of control, widening in the gyre, how the center cannot hold, but during the journey, plenty of new shit has come to light . . . check it out: The Test 80: New $#@! Has Come to Light.

5 comments:

zman said...

This is also like a descent into the darkness of my brain! Like your dog, my bowels do not observe DSL so I found myself using the nasty bogs at work instead of my beautiful Toto.

Dave said...

sounds like some new shit came to light.

rob said...

i have some edits for this test. i'll send notes.

zman said...

zwoman bought corn muffins yesterday and now she's complaining that they go dry and stale too fast and only taste good with butter. I said she should have read SoD before buying corn muffins.

Dave said...

i've got wisdom for all types. tell zwoman she can also drown them in honey.

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