Where Are You, Past Dave?

Our boss discovered a treasure trove of old photos in the English office; they were from 1999 and they were comprehensive in content: shots of us teaching, drinking at the bar, participating in the charity fashion show, an amazing tableau of the entire department in grungy teenage clothes at the smoker's gate, some photos of me fishing and smoking a cigar, etc. etc. -- and Stacey took a look at the 1999 version of Dave, skinny with a full head of hair -- and she said, "Things might have been different if I was around Dave back then" and our boss said, "Are you hitting on Dave?" and Stacey said, "No, I'm hitting on Past Dave," and I'm not sure whether to consider this a temporally contingent compliment or a barely veiled insult about Present Dave, but whatever it is, it doesn't make me all that happy about what the passage of time has done to the concept of Dave (of course, Past Dave had other problems, which we won't go into, but -- nostalgically speaking -- it's fun to envision Present Dave's brain under Past Dave's full head of hair).

13 comments:

rob said...

there's a cliche about youth wasted on the young buried under past dave's hair

zman said...

You should have ripped off your clothes Groundskeeper-Willie-style to reveal your resplendent ruffs of body hair and yelled "I've got hair where it counts!" This is how I convinced zwoman to marry me. True story.

Dave said...

comment of the year. i just cackled in the english office.

Anonymous said...

With Present Dave's brain you could not find your bike pump with a full head of hair.

Dave said...

i wouldn't need a bike pump with a full head of hair. hot chicks would drive me everywhere in their convertibles.

zman said...

"comment of the year."

I'm printing this out and putting it on the fridge. And speaking of hot chicks in convertibles, my friend The Great Keith DeBlasio (no relation to Bill) had a theory in high school that any girl looks 50% cuter behind the wheel of a VW Cabrio.

Dave said...

girls in convertibles = hot

guys in convertibles = cheesy

Clarence said...

Guys in VW Cabrios = vehicular cross-dressing

Clarence said...

Same with guys in Miatas

Clarence said...

Dave, must read:

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/rick-rubin-ian-astbury-recall-1987-sessions-new-york-was-on-fire-20130919

Clarence said...

That article reads just like The Cult's career. The beginning is fun and exciting, talking about rocking out in 1987. Then by the end they are just talking about tambourines and what music they like, and it's dull and irrelevant.

zman said...

Umbrage! I am the former owner of two (2!) different convertibles, including a Miata and I am neither cheesy nor a cross-dresser. You are soulless if you don't enjoy top-down motoring, particularly at night.

Dave said...

can't wait to wax nostalgically on the cult. thanks.

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