This Is Why I Don't Drink Milk or Argue With Women

The other day in the English office, my friend and colleague Rachel claimed that her breast milk "turned green" when she ate a lot of salad, but I was skeptical and told her that she must have been hallucinating-- but I guess I don't know much about breastfeeding (and I have no problem admitting this) and so I did some research on-line and certain foods-- especially yellow and orange foods loaded with carotene-- can tint breast milk; Rachel has also tasted her own breast milk, which I find extremely gross, and when I tried to express this she countered with a very rational remark: "I taste everything my child eats," and that gave me time to process and NOT say what I was going to say next, which was, "Well, I don't drink my own urine," which doesn't make a lick of sense, but momentarily seemed like a powerful rhetorical flourish to my argument.

6 comments:

zman said...

Drinking milk that came from a cow's breast is fine, but drinking milk that came from a woman's breast is gross?

Igor said...

Dave only drinks unicorn milk.

Al DePantsdowno said...

Malvert sometimes pee red.

Dave said...

i don't drink ANY milk. not even chocolate milk, which apparently comes from brown cows.

zman said...

I guess you don't like breasts in general.

Dave said...

funny thing is . . .

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