Sentence of Dave

The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)

How and When to Get Trampled

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For the first time in my life, I got up early on Black Friday to try to get a deal on a TV . . . or I thought I got up early (especially wi...

Is Dave Spongeworthy?

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After a year of blogging, one becomes introspective . . . one wonders: are my thoughts blog-worthy . . . are my sentences special and uniq...

I Love Coffee But I Hate Tea?

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Perhaps it was due to the fog of beer, but it took an inordinately long time to solve Stacey's ridiculous riddle Wednesday night-- she j...

Back in My Didn't Need to Breathe So Much

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Great moment of laissez faire  1960s parenting in Madmen -- Don Draper's daughter walks into the room, her body completely inside of a p...

Put Those Clementines Down!

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I was spacing out in line in the grocery store, cradling a box of clementines in my arm, and I guess this bothered the old woman in front of...
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Getting Rich

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Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my blog-- "Sentence of Dave" has accumulated 31,594 views, which earned me 15 dollars...
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Our Children Are Crushing Our Spines

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I took the kids to the Museum of Modern Art (the Joan MirĂ³ exhibit-- good for kids and doodlers alike) and FAO Scwartz (not the best place f...
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Girls Are Too Clever For Their Own Good

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Last week, one of my students tried to involve me in a web of lies and deceit: we have been reading and writing process analysis essays and ...
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A Vivid Geographical Simile

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From a student's poem about Newark, New Jersey: "285,000 people . . . 12, 400 people per square mile . . . tight like a virgin....
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Electronics and Water Don't Mix

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I had an appointment with a "genius" yesterday at the Apple store, a moniker found unbearably offensive, but this particular Youn...
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Entomology 101

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Two Oscar-winning performances by yours truly last week in class:  1) at the start of our process analysis unit I demonstrated how to help s...
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Mrs. Parham Will Get Back to Us

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As we walked along the Raritan River in the park by my house, my son Alex described his day at school-- specifically the class Thanksgiving ...
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Bonus American Education Week Update!!!

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Today, compliments of the East Brunswick Education Association (in conjunction with the East Brunswick Parent Teacher Association) in honor ...
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Hiking Q & A

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Question: how do you get your kids out of the woods after hiking in a bit too far and getting sort of lost; answer: promise them ice cream ...
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UFC . . . The Sour Sociology

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My first investigative sentence: in order to dispel claims made by frequent commenter (Al Depantsdowno) that UFC fighting is akin to the WW...
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More Popular Than Sex!

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I'm reading Bill Tancer's Click: What Millions of People are Doing Online and Why it Matters and the premise is this: Tancer is th...
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Ouch . . . Huh?

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They say women forget the pain of childbirth, and I believe it, because once again, I forgot the pain of early morning basketball-- some tea...
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These Puzzle Pieces Are All Edges

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Because of this blog, I neglected to write a best-selling novel; now instead of a thick and valuable manuscript, I am stuck with several hu...
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Hard Work and Soft Rock, Perfect Together

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One of the more annoying things about having work done on your house every night until 8 PM (besides the banging and sawing and the living i...
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Sometimes You Need to Lie to the People in White Coats

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The main reason I hate going to the dentist is because I am forced to lie: for the past few months (as usual) I've forgotten to floss on...
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