Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Dear People Who Still Read Books
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Dear Readers, I'd like to give my highest recommendation for Julie Schumacher's novel Dear Committee Members (and while I know tha...
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A Poetic Celebration of Yom Kippur (and the fact that most New Jersey public schools have off today)
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While the Jewish folks in Jersey atone for a year's worth of sin the rest of us Gentiles enjoy sleeping in . . . except for me, I just...
Life is Disgusting: Dawn to Dark Edition
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We were practicing showing and not telling in Creative Writing this morning, and I like to practice what I preach, so here goes: we'...
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Soccer Triathlon
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I completed my first soccer-triathlon of the fall season yesterday: I played soccer, watched soccer, and coached soccer . . . I played pick-...
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R.I.P. JJ McClure (and his Masterful Mustache)
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Sadly, Burt Reynolds has taken his last wild ambulance ride and finally joined his buddy Dom DeLuise at the Great Cannonball Run in the S...
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Primer for the Clueless
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Charlie Sykes tweeted this image with the caption: Kind of amazed this pr campaign wasn’t enough to save Alex Jones on Twitter a...
Maturity is Admitting You're Stupid
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This is hot off the press: so fifty-four minutes ago . . . at the end of middle school soccer practice, my son Ian and some of his friends d...
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Bunnies on the Border
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In Jeff Vandermeer's second book in the Southern Reach Trilogy, Authority , it feels as if the British version of The Office has ...
Brain Melt
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School has truly begun and my brain is taxed . . . I'm teaching four different classes this year (or preps, as we teachers like to call ...
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The Test 115: Good Fences Make Good Podcasts
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This week on our podcast The Test , Stacey quizzes us on various and significant walls and we perform admirably (aside from when Cunningham...
Two Lightbulbs in a Week
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While I still can't peel a hard-boiled egg (even with this "genius" spoon method . . . check out the photos) I did stumble...
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Hey NFL! Dave is Taking the Proverbial Knee
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This season (and perhaps for the rest of my days) I am taking the proverbial Colin Kaepernick knee in regards to the NFL: I'm not watchi...
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Cute Cuter Cuterest
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I used to think our dog Lola was cute, but not anymore: we met a nine week old black lab puppy today that was so adorable it made me want ...
Another Italian Economist?
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I'm not sure if I'm biased because of my heritage or if Italian economists actually have got it going on, but I loved what conservat...
Some (Especially Trump) Like It Hot
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Schools in my area without A/C sent the kids home early today because of excessive heat, and if you think that this global warming thing is ...
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I Can Get You a Toe by 3 O'Clock This Afternoon
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After a long day of meetings on Tuesday, I was pleasantly surprised by how well the rest of the day went: my kids were home alone all day an...
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The Art of Article Humor
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When my kids are playing Magic: The Gathering with their friends and I (invariably and inveterately) ask them, "Is this Magic . . . th...
Summer of Tomatillos
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The one benefit of this unseasonably hot, humid, and wet summer is that my wife's garden produced obscene amounts of peppers and tomatil...
Dave Belabors Labor Day
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I have concluded my Labor Day labor: I worked from 8 AM to 1 PM trimming trees in our backyard; I started the morning using my circular saw-...
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Sentence of Dave: Two Paragraph Edition
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Franklin Foer begins his essay collection of selections from the New Republic ( Insurrections of the Mind: 100 Years of Politics and Cultur...
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Encroachment, Both Avian and Feminine
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Tuesday morning, I got to the East Brunswick Library at 9:40 AM and it wasn't open yet, though the website claimed they opened at 9 AM, ...
They Maced Me! I Cried! And You'd Cry Too!
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Someday, I will tell the story of Pip and the Mace (it's set in Daytona, circa 1991 . . . a classic) but while today's post is about...
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The Test 114: You Need This For That
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This week on our podcast The Test , Cunningham forces Stacey and me to ponder how this leads to that . . . or how some things (or people) a...
Land Ho! Two Five Star Recommendations!
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Summer is waning fast, but if you still have time left to binge some quality stuff, I have two superlative recommendations for you; both are...
The Red Bulls Game Was the LEAST Exciting Part of the Night (or Hostage Situation at the Carpark)
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Last night, Catherine, Alex, Ian and I went to Red Bull Arena to watch Wayne Rooney and DC United take on the Red Bulls; Rooney put in an un...
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Mission Accomplished?
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In the spirit of George W. Bush's infamous "Mission Accomplished" proclamation, I'm claiming victory in my goal to improve...
Vacation is Over (Cue the Cave Crickets)
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No time for abstractions and bombast today, I'm back from vacation and battling a horde of cave crickets inside my beautifully designed ...
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New York was an Oyster Town (and may be again)
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Mark Kurlansky's book The Big Oyster: History on the Half Shell is the perfect beach read if you are at the Jersey Shore (which I am) ...
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They Accepted the Challenge!
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Last night, the LED placard on the side of the Springfield Inn advertised three special events: 1) $3 COORS LIGHT 4 PM to Close 2...
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Trump: What, Me Worry?
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If you found some solace in the Manafort verdict and Cohen guilty plea, and you think now Trump and his followers are feeling the pressure, ...
LeCompt Grants Us Two Wishes (But Not Without a Price)
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Earlier in the summer, when I was on vacation with my family and my cousins, Catherine and I only made it through one set of LeCompt-- the b...
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Living in the Aftermath . . . Fun To Read, Not So Much To Live
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I often have a sinking sensation-- when I am stuck in traffic or taking a hot shower on a cold day or eating take-out food with disposable ...
I Was Cold Today!
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Best day of vacation ever: cold, windy and cloudy at the beach . . . I had to wear a sweatshirt for the first time in months.
Second Hand News to Me
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Fleetwood Mac is good music to listen to while driving to the beach, so I played "Rumours" for my kids earlier in the summer and t...
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The Test 113: Who Brings the Bacon?
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This week on The Test , match wits and financial acumen with the ladies as I test them on the net worth of various wealthy (and not so w...
Who is Culpable? The Fates? Or Dave?
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Tuesday night just before soccer practice began, Carl -- our visitor from the Bronx (through the Fresh Air Fund)-- fell and skinned his knee...
Last Time I Listen to Him . . .
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My son Alex told me a few weeks ago-- after a debacle with a used Chinese cell-phone-- that I should not offer him any options, I should jus...
Beauty Happens . . . It Really Does
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The Evolution of Beauty: How Darwin's Forgotten Theory of Mate Choice Shapes the Animal World -- An Us by Richard O. Prum is one of tho...
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Something Uplifting for the Young People
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I've been spinning my wheels lately in my digital music studio, working on lots of projects but never quite finishing anything, but ...
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Donald Trump Needs to Clean My Toilet
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The married couple from Nicaragua that cleans our house, who sought political asylum here in 2005 and have been issued yearly work permits f...
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Every Thundercloud Has a Silverish Lining
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For the past month, the weather in Jersey has been hideous: a damp, hot subtropical mess, but I keep telling myself: wildfires are worse tha...
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Gene Hackman Needs to Coach My Kids (on How to Enjoy Hoosiers)
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We watched Hoosiers this afternoon-- my kids just completed a week of basketball camp, so I thought it would be the perfect flick . . . plu...
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The Subtle Art of Naming a Canine (part II)
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My son Alex and his friend Jack decided they approve of dogs with human names-- so our dog Lola and Jack's dog Walter fit the bill-- but...
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Facebook Doesn't Want You To Read This (or Does It?)
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Many liberals believe we need the government to protect us from the power of corporations and corporate lobbying, and many conservatives bel...
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Meta-tears
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Once again, the season finale of GLOW got me all choked up . . . which is ridiculous, considering I was watching a completely fictitious...
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Shooting the Shit (head) at the Dog Park
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One of the joys of having a dog is visiting the dog park and chatting with the weird mammals that bring their pets; a few days ago, du...
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You're Welcome, David Sedaris!
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The new David Sedaris memoir/essay collection Calypso is darker and perhaps more candid and sincere than anything he's written previo...
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Where Is Kurt Russell When You Need Him?
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Yesterday, we drove to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, wandered around a bit (I had a green tea donut at the Doughnut Plant) and then ...
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Put the Secret Token in the Phantom Tollbooth?
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Andrew Lawler's new book on the Lost Colony of Roanoke is far more intricate than I imagined; I thought The Secret Token: Myth, Obsessi...
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The Test 112: What's in a Name?
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This week on our podcast, Stacey proclaims that this is the "stupidest test ever," but I still found it very difficult (unlike Cun...
Hot Potato
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There are studies that show that female teachers with math anxiety pass that anxiety to their female students and I get that-- because rig...
Gourmandise
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My 88 pound son made and ate one dozen fresh strawberry/raspberry-blackberry jam/chocolate syrup/whipped cream crepes this morning (meanw...
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