Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Faculty Follies
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Once again, the Triennial (not triannual, thank God) Faculty Follies were a roaring success-- teachers, administrators, secretaries and hall...
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This is My Future (and it's pathetic)
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Last weekend was a harbinger of future parenting; my ten year old son was up later than me on two out of three nights: he went bowling with ...
Harper Lee: The World's Laziest Writer?
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Harper Lee, the author of To Kill a Mockingbird , is publishing a "new" novel on July 14th; Go Set a Watchman is chronologica...
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Shiny Happy People Read Absurdist Fiction
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The Happiest People in the World is a novel by Brock Clarke, and the opening took me by surprise-- I've been reading a lot of non-fi...
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Stella Gibson is a Better Swimmer Than Gillian Anderson
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In the BBC series The Fall, Gillian Anderson plays Metropolitan Police Superintendent Stella Gibson, who is sent from London to Belfast ...
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A Movie Review in Honor of Groundhog Day
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You may have heard the premise of Richard Linklater's new film Boyhood : he got the same actors together (Ellar Coltrane, Lorelei Link...
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Dave Does the Opposite
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In a shocking role reversal, I cooked dinner on Wednesday night while Catherine took the boys to the barber (and she bribed the boys into go...
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Dave Almost Loses a Nipple
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The night after I watched Michael Ginsberg of Madmen cut off his own nipple and present it to Peggy in a jewelry box, because the humming o...
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Who's Writing This? Does It Matter?
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A few days ago, my wife helped me install a little thesaurus app that works inside Google Chrome-- so that I can simply right-click on a wor...
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Four Ways to Be a Better Student
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"How to Fix a Broken High Schooler in Four Easy Steps" is the second part of the Freakonomics two-part podcast on American educat...
Broadchurch Has Nothing to Do With Dr. Who
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Broadchurch possesses all the classic mystery elements: a tragic crime, a troubled detective, and a "locked room" style plot-- ...
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Snow > Mud
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I know an old lady is going to break her hip and flights are going to be delayed and the roads are going to be a nightmare, but that still...
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Science Isn't Always Fun
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The best thing about The Best Science and Nature Writing anthology is that the writers do all the work for you: if you want to learn about t...
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Like a Sea Urchin in Your Urethra
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In The Matrix , just before Morpheus sends Neo down the rabbit-hole, he commends him for his awareness: "you know something . . ....
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Innovation: Dead in the Water or a Phoenix Rising?
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So most of you are aware that I'm the greatest teacher ever (when I'm not feeling grouchy or tired from pub night or claustrophobic ...
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You Should Print This Out
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Ferris Jabr's article "Why the Brains Prefers Paper" presents some interesting evidence as to why reading a book or magazine ...
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Platinum Fatigue Part 2
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I was making my way through the 2014 edition of The Best American Science and Nature Writing and I saw an essay entitled "TV as Birth ...
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Platinum Fatigue
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Sometimes, I get so tired and I don't think I can keep it up-- the pace is too fast and I want to close my eyes and just sleep, like for...
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Football, Soccer, and the Cinema
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Sunday's Seattle/Green Bay game was the first time all season that I watched an entire NFL game-- start to finish-- and while the finish...
46th Proverb of Dave
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Corn muffins are simply an excuse to eat lots of butter.
The 846th Proverb of Dave
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When you are old, you will accumulate too many extension cords.
The 77th Proverb of Dave
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When you sweep the kitchen, save some dust for next time.
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More Ice
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Yesterday, my son Alex and his buddy Gary walked down near the river to play on the ice (not on the frozen river itself, which is forbidden ...
Chem for Dogs
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I'm not very strong in my comprehension of chemistry (in fact, I'm downright stupid when it comes to chemistry, as anyone who has ta...
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When Someone Makes Soup, You Eat It
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When your wife slaves all day over a batch of home-made chicken soup, then come dinner, you eat the soup (I made the mistake of making a few...
This is My Best Effort
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My son Alex passed his stomach virus to Ian and me, and while the really gross part is over, my body is so sore and worn-out that all I can ...
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You Can Pick You Nose But You Can't Pick Your Kids
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While my son Alex still habitually picks his nose and eats it-- which disgusts me to no end-- I am also proud to say that he can now execute...
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January > Teetotaling
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I think all of us living in the Northern Hemisphere will agree that January is a terrible time for resolutions-- especially ones that involv...
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The Wild Fern: Seventeen Stars Out of Five
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Fans of The Dave know that I tend to be fairly binary with my reviews-- things are either "the best in the world" or "the wor...
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Meaner Girls
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If you're a fan of Mean Girls (and if you're not a fan of Mean Girls , then you'd better become one) then you'll love Liane ...
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Those Clever Teenagers and Their Electronic Devices
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Not sure if this goes into the category of "something I should have known . . . but didn't because I'm old and/or stupid" ...
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At Least I'm Being Reasonable
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I wrote a fairly lame post the other day for Gheorghe:The Blog in which I listed and discussed some of the "logic" I use when ins...
Candy For Men
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Black licorice is slightly more badass than a bag full of Gummi bears.
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Did Ajim Suck Out Michael Rockefeller's Brains?
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This is the essential question at the heart of Carl Hoffman's book Savage Harvest: A Tale of Cannibals, Colonialism, and Michael Rock...
There's Something Perfect About This (Unlike Driving a Motorcycle on the Turnpike)
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There's something beautiful and appropriate about this progression: Highroads Harley Davidson in Highland Park closed down a few years ...
Mnemosyne Demands a Sacrifice
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My wife has to remember a wealth of information on a daily basis-- she has a lot of responsibility at her job and in our community, and she&...
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You CAN Tune a Fish!
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For those of you who need one more miracle to make it through the holiday season, this will do it for you: this event is described in The Ac...
Vacations With Kids Are Not Really Vacations
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Another phenomenal Vermont vacation, full of snowboarding, skiing, great local food/beer, and plenty of anxiety (not only anxiety from supe...
Read My Lips: No New Resolutions
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I'm going to be honest here: the only New Year's Resolution I ever followed through on was in 2011, when I resolved to eat more tac...
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Dave Has a Miraculous Post-Christmas Vision!
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When your mind strays outside the established box-walls, then you will certainly suffer disdain and criticism, even from those who profess t...
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A Book For People Who Thought "The Road" Was Too Depressing
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Station Eleven , by Emily St. John Mandel, adds nothing new to the apocalypse trope-- in fact, I think she keeps it simple on purpose: a kil...
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Some of the Best Sentences Ever Written (By Me . . . This Year)
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Once again, it's time for me to arbitrarily choose my favorite posts of the year ; I hope you enjoy them and perhaps 2015 will provide m...
Unwarranted Death Stare
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So I'm walking down the hall, minding my own business, trying to get to my period 10/11 Creative Writing class on time and in front of m...
If You Have a Cool Jazz Voice, Then You Don't Need Transitions
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If you've got a cool jazz DJ voice, like Venus Flytrap or Gary Walker (from WBGO out of Newark) then you don't need to use transit...
A First World Conundrum
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Does anyone else have trouble napping when the cleaning woman is doing her thing?
New Rack vs. New Knobs
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My wife is wonderful and amazing just as she is, but that doesn't mean she can't occasionally improve things . . . so this year, for...
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Seriously, Sirius?
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So I'm walking my dog and it starts to rain and it's cold and damp and I'm hurrying home and he pulls me to a complete stop so h...
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Fell On Black Days
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Sunday was the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, and thus the shortest day and longest night of the year-- if you care to know how...
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The Significance of #47
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Having this blog has made it easy to keep track of the important things in my life, such as the number of tacos I ate in 2011 (200!) and th...
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Ostrich Philosophy
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My son Alex came home Tuesday with a nasty scrape on his arm, an injury he suffered in what he named "the arena"-- a free-form fig...
Enough About Serial Already
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Here is a piece of graffito I read on a condom machine in a bar bathroom: "this gum tastes funny."
Now That Serial Is Over, What Will My Brain Do?
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The podcast Serial has finally reached its conclusion-- and while the ending might not satisfy the binge-listeners, anyone who listened t...
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Of Course We Do (Not)
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My son Alex explained to us that he was making a movie at school and then he asked: "Do we have any snow leopard costumes?"
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Like Spider Like Son
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Although I am a competent basketball player now, this wasn't the case in college-- in fact, the only basketball skill I possessed back...
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Surprise!
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Fans of my idiotic ramblings know that I hate surprise parties-- I think people should be allowed to prepare in advance for social events (a...
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The Way We Were
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For the past two weeks, my children have been starring in an epic saga of forgetfulness; they forgot their homework and the materials they n...
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How to Write the Comment of the Year
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There are only sixteen days left in 2014, so if you're looking to win the prestigious Sentence of Dave Comment of the Year you'd bet...
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Physics Equation with Dark Matter
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Black fleece pants + black jacket + black rainy night + black Nike sneakers + black dog = almost getting hit by a car while walking the dog.
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I Finally Understand Madmen
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It took me a while to get it, but I have a good excuse-- I was distracted by all the outfits: Meghan's beautiful outfits and Peggy's...
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Six Ways to Annoy Your Friends (Now!)
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If you read the new Steven Johnson book How We Got to Now: Six Innovations That Made the Modern World then you will learn lots of annoy...
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In the Old Days, If You Didn't Go to Church, You Got Whipped (Cream?)
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I haven't been very zealous about my children's religious attendance (let's be frank here, I haven't even been mildly intere...
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Tony Luke's is Better Than Jim's (and Other Notes for Future Trips to Philly)
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Catherine and I spent the weekend in Philly (sans kids) and I'd like to note some highs and lows for both my readers and my future self:...
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Sarah Koenig, Laura and the Dude Profanely Grapple in the In-Between Place (Philosophical Shit Part 2)
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If you go 38 minutes and 40 seconds into Episode 8 of Serial , then you get to hear Sarah Koenig set up what she calls "her favorite ...
Philosophical Shit
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I think teachers often forget Aristotle's idea that "the roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet" because they a...
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Can Anyone Peel an Egg?
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I've got decent fine motor skills-- I can shoot a dart, play lead guitar, and tweeze an ear-hair with unerring accuracy-- so why can'...
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What the Kids Are Saying . . .
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Here is some of the slang I've picked up from the teenagers this school year: apparently, if you are over forty and some young person ...
Fermi's Paradox and The Great Filter Wish You a Happy Holiday Season
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This year I'm not going to get so upset over the rampant materialism and consumerism (and the resulting environmental disaster) caused b...
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Real vs. "Real"
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Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) is a film with many layers-- but the layers are shallow . . . we never leave the epidermis-...
It Works For Me
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I've found that in the winter, if I take my dog for a bike ride or a hike through the park, I get far less muddy if I tuck my sweat pant...
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Enough of That . . . Or Is It?
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I finished Dana Goldstein's book The Teacher Wars: A History of America's Most Embattled Profession and while there's certainly...
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