Dave Speculates on (Probably) the Dumbest Use of a Quantum Computer (It's All Probabilistic)

As far as I understand this recent quantum computing breakthrough-- which is not very far at all-- but from what I do grasp, the possible reason why the computer can do such complex computations so quickly, computations that would take a normal computer more than the life of the universe, is because the quantum computer is harnessing alternate realities and doing parallel computations in the multiverse-- so if I could get a hold of one of these computers, perhaps I could access the various sentences Alternate Daves are writing in various alternate universes and select the best of these alternate sentences and essentially subcontract my work out to the multiverse (which is quite different than relying on AI to write my sentences, which would be soulless and derivative . . . but harnessing the thinking power of infinite Alternate Daves, that's something much more on brand).