You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Transgression

Yesterday was the first day of the second semester, and so I met my new class of Creative Writing students and we did all the first day of school stuff-- cell phones in the cell phone holder; some first-day activities; name mnemonics on index cards . . . you know the drill-- and after I memorized all the names and recited them several times, I started collecting index cards-- and there were about five minutes left in class but I was obviously done so some kids got up to get their phones and then they started milling around by the door-- these were sophomores and I forget how sophomores behave because I mainly teach seniors-- so I was like: "stop milling around by the door and get back in the general vicinity of your desk because I don't like kids milling around near the door or anywhere near my person or my desk" and they were like: "okay, but someone escaped" and I was like: "wtf?" and I had everyone sit back down and-- lo and behold! one of the desks that was previously occupied was now empty-- one of the sophomores had slithered out the door, probably to go to lunch early-- and because I had just memorized their names I knew the name of the missing girl and I was like: "wow . . . I've been teaching for nearly thirty years and that's a new one for the first day of class . . . some first impression" and I wrote the girl up and sent an email to the girl's parents (no reply yet) and I can't wait to see what kind of second impression this girl makes when I chastise her in person tomorrow.