Dave Learns What Women Really Want . . . And It's Sick
After suffering a wicked twenty-four hour stomach virus, I returned to work yesterday, tired but noticeably lighter, and no less than three people-- all women-- expressed their jealousy and wished that they could suffer a twenty-four hour bout of feverish and violent intestinal evacuation, in order to strip off a few pounds before all the holiday gluttony; I told them they were crazy, and this was not a good way to lose weight, but despite my description of the general awfulness of the condition, one woman still insisted that I should have kissed her good-bye on Friday, on the lips, because then she would have lost weight over the weekend.
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Yes! I had a terrible stomach infection (not giardia but some other protist) that took weeks to resolve (the doctor gave me an antibacterial at first and it couldn't finish off the protists) and I lost something like 8 pounds in the first three days. All sorts of people were like "I want that!" and I was like "If you saw me three days ago you wouldn't want what I have."
damn-- mine is lingering, i hope i don't have that. did you run a fever at all?
I don't recall a fever. Stomach cramps forced me into the fetal position. My poops were essentially green sawdust in water. If your big is "lingering" you don't have a protozoan infection. They are remarkably aggressive and require medical intervention.
Big = bug
ok, i seem to be getting over it, although my poop was sawdust for a couple of days. gonna be a reserved thanksgiving feast for me . . .
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