This Might Be Farewell
In case I don't make it through the next couple of days, I'd like to thank all my readers for their encouragement and support . . . I know you all agree that I am an advanced wordsmith of the highest caliber, but I still don't think I have the lexical dexterity to explain how irritating, annoying and painful the canker sore under my tongue is . . . and while I've tried some of the remedies you have suggested, they don't seem to be working; in fact, I'm sure the sore is growing larger and larger each minute, festering and suppurating vast amount of pus, and in the coming days, I'm sure it will consume the rest of my tongue, then my mouth, then my face, and then my entire body-- I'll be one gigantic frothing sore, and thus unable to write any sentences . . . but it was fun while it lasted.
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4 comments:
Your canker is like the festering apple lodged in Gregor Samsa's back. Once you can no longer write sentences you will be of no use to anyone and you will die alone in your room, herpetic and unloved.
Don't worry, we're fine, we have intern lined up to replace you. He will stop by after school on Mondays from 3:00 - 3:15.
my intern has been writing this sentence for years now . . . i've been on a beach in thailand
You might pronounce it "beach," but I don't think that's how you spell it.
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