Monday at lunch, when I opened a container of salsa to put on my taco salad, some of the salsa shot into my left eye-- but I scoffed at the pain, because it was nothing compared to this terrible incident-- but then later in the day, just after I had left Wawa, the universe punished me for scoffing at the pain, and when I opened a bag of jalapeno flavored chips, a piece of spicy chip flew into the very same left eye . . . and that hurt a bit more than the salsa, but I still scoffed at the pain and drove back to school with one eye, and so I'm sure the universe is extremely angry at my insolence-- and I'm also sure the universe will take this out on my left eye-- so don't be surprised if the next time you see me, I'm wearing an eye-patch.
three times capsaicin-laced objects have 'flown' from their original location into your eye? three times? you're asking for a lot of suspension of disbelief here, man.
ReplyDeleteI would call you Dave "Left Eye" Lopes, but Davey Lopes was a baseball player in the 1970's and I don't recall what nickname he went by, but it surely wasn't "Left Eye." And RIP Left Eye Lopes. You are crazy, Dave, but you have never set someone's house on fire. To my knowledge.
ReplyDeletei've got witnesses (about the capsaicin, not the arson-- no comment on the arson-- and don't ask nick fury).
ReplyDeleteDave = Ken Cosgrove.
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