You Might Only Want to Read 1/2 of this Sentence

The folks at work claim that my braided belt is from the '90's, but that's not true -- my braided belt from the '90's disintegrated long ago, and this braided belt is relatively new and I bought it at Kohls . . . and I really tried to wear a more fashionable belt but the problem with non-braided belts is that there are a limited number of holes, and so if you gain or lose a few pounds, or eat a giant lunch, then there might not be an ideal belt setting for your particular girth at that moment, and I like to buy my pants a little big, and so I actually need a belt to cinch them at the waist, because I'm not buying the pants big for my gut-- which isn't all that big-- I'm buying the pants big for my butt, which is ample and round, and needs room to breathe.



6 comments:

zman said...

You need suspenders.

zman said...

Or just rock overalls.

Dave said...

rock overalls?

Dave said...

i got it -- you used "rock" as a verb, as in in, to wear with style and panache and irony. not going to happen.

Clarence said...

Is it impossible for you to poke a hole in a belt?

Dave said...

for that, i'd need a belt-hole poker.

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