I Don't Want to Dress Like a Holiday

I usually wait a few days to write about current events -- I like to detach myself and let my thoughts solidify -- but I'm going to tackle this one while the iron is hot; yesterday, three people told me that I needed to "dress like a holiday" next Friday, as part of some school-spirit competition that pits the different departments against one another . . . and while I gamely wore a green shirt last month (although I was still chastised because I didn't score the maximum five points, which would have entailed wearing FIVE green items) I really don't like dressing out of the ordinary, nor do I like celebrating holidays, and so I was going to quietly avoid participating in this part of the competition -- but there is a sign-up sheet in the English office, and apparently people have been reading it closely, and these people noticed that I didn't select a holidays . . . and I sometimes have a hard time judging if these people are actually angry at me, or just joking around -- but one teacher said that "it wasn't fair" and she was going to "tell the school secretary to remove me from the department" and then she left the room before I could figure out if this was real or feigned anger, and now I'm in that weird spot where I might have to not "dress like a holiday" out of principle . . . because I would never force anyone, against their will, to dress like Kwanza or Flag Day or Boxing Day (just a few of the holidays left from which I might choose) and while I should just placidly suck-it-up and dress like something easy, such as Father's Day, there's a part of me that feels like we shouldn't win this competition anyway, since it's not skill based (if it was inter-department corn-hole, I'd be as ardent as they come) and I really wish this entire contest would evaporate and I could just go back to teaching Shakespeare (but not dressing like him . . . as that's always weird and awkward when the teacher comes to school dressed as the historical figure that you are studying).

12 comments:

  1. I didn't realize that you teach at Chotchkie's and have to wear a minimum of 15 pieces of flair. Is this part of No Child Left Behind?

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  2. Dave says, "I dont like dressing out of the ordinary." Hmm, dave. Really? Have you looked in a mirror?

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  3. If you are forced into selecting Talk Like a Pirate Day for your holiday you'll have a great opportunity to say "I don't wanna be a pirate!"

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  4. Just get a pair of the "Rexquando" zubaz pants and go as flag day. Frankly, in New Jersey that won't even look strange.

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  5. You should show up in drag and say you're Billie Holiday.

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  6. those are all good plans, except that i don't like to dress out of the ordinary. what if i just talk in a raspy voice and claim i'm billie holiday.

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  7. Pick Festivus that way you can show up in either your normal clothes or a wrestling singlet. The latter being the creepier choice.

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  8. used a dumb and dumber clip in class today -- perfect counterpoint for sebastian's decision in 12th night.

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