The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Is It So Weird to Do a Little Research?
My students found it odd that I was reading Over-Dressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion and when I told them that I was reading it because I was about to go on my first solo clothes shopping trip ever (not that I've never bought clothing before -- but usually just an individual item, and most of my clothes are either gifts or hand-me-downs from my brother, father, and even a colleague's boyfriend, who lost weight and gave me all his fat pants) because all of my clothes, shoes, and belts wore out at once a few weeks ago and so I was in serious need of everything . . . and one of those 30% off Kohls coupons came in the mail, so I went for it -- and it was a disaster, of course; I pulled over a rack of women's nightgowns, nearly walked into the women's dressing room, bought pants that were too long, lost my cart innumerable times, and had trouble finding the items I needed -- and then they wouldn't let me use my wife's charge card (they probably figured: there's no way this idiot is married) and so I had to get my own card in order to use the coupon, and I somehow lost my driver's license in this transaction (though it turned up a week later) and while I learned a lot about the big picture of globalized fashion from Elizabeth Cline's book, it didn't help me at all with actual shopping, and my students thought the only thing weirder than me reading a book about fashion was me reading a book to prepare to go shopping at Kohls . . . but what's wrong with doing a little research?
The Devil Wears Kohls
ReplyDeleteCalling you out - way too much embellishment here. This post is a weak attempt to reinforce the Intellectual Dave and the Awkward Dave personas. The fat pants story I believe, however.
ReplyDeletevideo or it never happened
ReplyDeleteHand me downs from your younger brother??
ReplyDeleteKohls sucks. It always looks like a bomb went off and sprayed clothes everywhere. It's a disordered mess so you can't find anything.
ReplyDeleteThat was the original script text for what was reduced simply to "Kmart sucks" in Rain Man.
ReplyDeletei now have my own kohl's credit card, and i just got a coupon in the mail. i think i might get some black shoes (i normally wear my timberland black hiking shoes with black pants and pretend their shoes, but someone told me i'm not fooling anyone). i'm turning over a new leaf.
ReplyDeletealso, no embellishment -- and the fat apnts story is true. i am wearing a pair of chantal's boyfriend's pants right now . . .
ReplyDelete"...and they feel amazing. I'm just thinking about him wearing them, and how he eschewed underpants, and I'm walking at a very brisk pace!"
ReplyDeletethey are very roomy pants.
ReplyDelete