Basketball vs. Soccer: Microcosmically

In the winter I play pick-up basketball and indoor soccer in the same spot-- an elementary school gym-- which is conveniently located two blocks from my house; there are only two people who play in both games, myself and a guy named Bruce . . . so we'd be in the middle sliver of the Venn diagram, but the rest of the folks don't occupy the same world; here are the differences between the two games  . . . draw what inferences you like:

1) for soccer, you need to bring a white and a dark shirt-- so that you can wear the same color as your team-- but for basketball, you have to memorize who is on your team-- this is fairly typical and I suppose it is because in soccer you are looking down more and have to make longer passes and might not be able to recognize someone's face from that far away, but my eyes aren't great and I wouldn't mind if the basketball game adopted the soccer policy;

2) in the soccer game, if you have to sit out a game because there are too many players, you are guaranteed to play in the next game-- even if someone from the winning team needs to be relieved-- but in the basketball game, if there are more than five players, and you miss your foul shot, you will NOT play in the next game . . . as the winning five always get to stay on;

3) because of this rule, more fouls are called in the basketball game and the score is more important;

4) the soccer crew has an email group but the basketball group does not;

5) if the weather is decent, the soccer group will play outside, while this has never happened with the basketball group . . . even when it was 95 degrees in the gym in the summer;

6) more advice and strategy is dispensed by the experienced basketball players, and it is more often accepted, or at least entertained and discussed . . . while during soccer if anyone mistakenly attempts to give someone else advice, it usually results in a vehement argument (which may happen in a language other than English)

7) sometimes at soccer, while we are warming up, we talk world politics . . . this never happens at basketball;

8) there are a couple of women that occasionally play in the soccer game-- and they can hold their own-- but I have never seen any women at the basketball game;

9) you can bring your kid to the soccer game, and if you get there early then he might get to play some-- my seven-year-old son once played for a while before everyone got there . . . but I've never seen any kids at the basketball game;

10) the soccer game has people with names such as Mario, Gio, Jose, Guillermo, Felipe, Mohammed,  Javier, Yorim, Ahmed, Yusuf, Ari, Josi, Bruce and Mike . . . the basketball game has people with names such as Al, Keith, Ben, Tom, Chris, Anthony, Richard (Cob), Eugene, Bruce, Isaac and-- of course-- Mike.

17 comments:

  1. Best post in a long time.

    Where does your skill rank among the two groups?

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  2. i agree with igor - i love this post...

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  3. Which crew is more likely to show up in a minivan?

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  4. cob is a white jewish guy.

    i am a more skilled soccer player than basketball player-- and so one of the better guys in that group, although there are plenty of foreign guys that can do some crazy stuff-- and i am VERY inconsistent with basketball, from night to night, my outside shot tends to be either deadly accurate or dead ugly, but i'm in pretty good shape so i rebound a lot and play a lot of defense. i know what i'm doing with soccer but in basketball i still go to the wrong place often. i'm just happy to be still playing both weekly-- as i'm getting old . . .

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  5. I was just asked to play on a soccer team, so glad I read this post so I can say No and avoid women, children and enlightened globalists - I'm sticking with hoops.

    Which one is more plantar fasciitis inducing?

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  6. What is Cob short for? Coburn? Cobain? Cobblestone?

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  7. cob is his full name.

    basketball is definitely more plantar fasciitis inducing because of all the jumping and landing, but taping my foot and achilles before i play has really helped.

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  8. perhaps you would withhold your sarcasm if you knew that Robert Hegyes-- otherwise know as "juan epstein the puerto rican jew"-- died today. he lived in metuchen, the next town over. so there.

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  9. Look, I wasn't afraid to compliment your post, but you just described your last comment as the best comment of your life (over at Gheorghe). Wasn't.

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  10. Juan Epstein is the Cafwalker's brother. True story.

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  11. And don't forget Rod Carew or Sammy Davis Jr.

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  12. why you all dont want to do cycling?
    less risk and always make you in good mood..

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  13. I am quite unsatisfied by the distinctions between the oral and literate. See the link below for more info.

    #unsatisfied
    www.ufgop.org

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