The 9 Billion Sentences of Dave


In Arthur C. Clarke's short story "The Nine Billion Names of God," a group of Tibetan monks-- aided by Western computer programmers-- seek to list every name given to The Almighty, which they believe is the purpose of mankind . . . and monks also believe that once this enormous list is complete that God will bring the universe to an end, and though the programmers are skeptical of the eschatological prediction of the monks and leave just before the listing program finishes-- because they don't want to be around a bunch of disappointed mystics-- as they ride their horses through a mountain pass they notice that "overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out," and though I do not claim any such grand plans for The Sentence of Dave, there are times when I think that if I get the right words in the perfect order that something magical will happen and I will blink out of existence just like the stars in the
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12 comments:

  1. SqueakySeptember 2, 2011 at 10:19 AM

    Well, there goes the taco count record.

    ReplyDelete
  2. WhitneySeptember 2, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    There's really no chance Dave gets to 200 tacos, is there? Oh, well. I really thought he could do it.

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  3. rhinolipsSeptember 2, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Do soft tacos count?

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  4. DaveSeptember 2, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    at two late night leftover tacos last night and had three tacos for lunch in new brunswick. don't count me out!

    but i only ate three for dinner last night because i was going out drinking.

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  5. DaveSeptember 2, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    and since i've been keeping track, i always order the mole poblano plate at the mexican place and then get a side order of corn tortillas to amke tacos from the platter.

    i usually have to ask for the side of corn tortillas, but today i forgot to order and she brought them anyway. she must be following the spanish translation of sentence of dave.

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  6. DaveSeptember 2, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    so yes, soft tacos count.

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  7. robSeptember 2, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    i'm working on a program to count all the euphemisms for masturbation.

    ReplyDelete
  8. DaveSeptember 2, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    be careful with that-- what happens if you complete the list?

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  9. zmanSeptember 2, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    Leftover tacos do not count. I feel strongly about this.

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  10. DaveSeptember 2, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. a taco is a taco-- it doesn't matter when it was made. what constitutes leftover? is there a particular time limit? i'm astounded someone so smart could say something so stupid.

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  11. zmanSeptember 2, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Anyone can eat 200 tacos. I bet TR could eat 200 right now. It's only a big deal if eating them is inconvenient, so you have to go out to get them or make them yourself. If I showed up at your school at noon every day with two delicious tacos from your favorite Mexican spot you would have no excuse to fail to eat 200 tacos in a year. In light of some of your sentences, going out to eat with your two kids is probably a difficult task so you don't have many opportunities to eat tacos unless you make them, and in light of most of your sentences I think you are too lazy to make 200 tacos. If you go to your favorite Mexican place and order a bunch of tacos but only eat half and then bring the rest home, those leftover tacos don't count because (1) you didn't eat them with the rest of your taco order, and (2) there is no inconvenience associated with eating leftover tacos, they're right there in the fridge and you don't even have to reheat them. So those leftover tacos are essentially freebies in the quest for 200 tacos and thus they don't count.

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  12. DaveSeptember 3, 2011 at 5:57 AM

    i'm not trying to eat 200 inconvenient tacos! i am keeping track of how many actual tacos i eat in a year.

    YOU try to eat 200 inconvenient tacos! i'm just counting.

    ReplyDelete