So I'm just living my life, stealing some printer paper from the boss's office and printing some stuff that I need to print, and leaving a stack of paper on the common table in the office while I'm printing my stuff that I needed to print, when I realize that I need to bolt, that time is of the essence, but while I am in the process of bolting out of there, I hear this voice, a voice with a reminiscent tone, a voice layered with subtext, a voice that is dripping with an undercurrent, an undercurrent which I know exactly how to decipher and this voice says, "Are you done with this paper?" and I look and see Liz holding the stack of paper that I tossed on the common table and I recognize that her tone is the same tone as when Catherine, my beloved wife, holds up a used yogurt container that I have left on the counter and says, "Are you done with this yogurt container?" and I know what this really means is: "
You are a fucking insensitive slob who thinks women have been placed on this earth to clean up your shit, but I have been placed on this earth to teach you a lesson, and the lesson is this: women are not here to clean up your shit, and you are going to learn to clean up your shit, and you may learn this sooner or you may learn it later, but you will eventually learn this, and this tone is essential to you learning this lesson because it is a tone that is antithetical to the way you want to live your insensitive, self-centered, egotistical, selfish life and eventually you will hear the tone before the words are even spoken because the tone will live in your head and then you will realize that the tone has won and the Way of Dave has lost" and while I can see where both Liz and Catherine are coming from, sometimes you just want to live your life the way you want and leave a bunch of shit all over the place and clean it up later, but maybe I was born in the wrong place and at the wrong time and maybe I'm never going to get to live my life this way.
It wouldn't be so bad if he actually cleaned it up later but once it is left he never comes back to clean up although that's what he says, "I was going to clean it up after, Blah, blah, blah"
ReplyDeletei sense a tone in that comment
ReplyDeleteYou should try being more like Leonard Washington.
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/3yyx4h7
At least you can throw your apple over your head and backwards into the garbage in the English office and - make it or not - no one is mad. (well, mostly no one).
ReplyDeleteFirst, he got some apple in Virtue's hair, and she did get mad. Second, I know that tone very well, and that is exactly says. Love you Liz (nervous laughter).
ReplyDeletecorrection "what it says"
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you watch Mad Men but the entire premise of the series is the balance between what you want to do and what people expect of you - great show.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I saw in the Post today the Mike D'Antonio's nickname was Il Buffo, The Moustache, when he played in the Italian basketball league and before he coached the Knicks.
I think that's a great picture of Catherine.
ReplyDeletelove madmen-- we just missed living in the best of times for men.
ReplyDeletemy boys will never know what they almost missed.
Can we maybe cowrite a book about the tone. It can change the world!
ReplyDeletei love this. i feel like you need to make it back into McGillin's and allow me to buy you a couple (6 to 12) complimentary beers. when's the next soccer match on?
ReplyDelete