Fuck the Lollipop Guild

I almost lost my five year old son Alex today in a Darwin Award-esque accident: he said, "Look Dad!" and-- with a lollipop in his mouth-- he tried to stand on two soccer balls, one foot on each ball, and then he did a face plant, nearly impaling the back of his brain with the pop . . . and so, like any rational parent, I have banned all lollipops from my house until the children are old enough to drive to the store and by them on their own.