A woman in our department (Kristyna) is pregnant with her first child-- and it's a boy-- and she's definitely the feminine type, so I was giving her some tips on how to raise boys (always be developing their reflexes, constantly challenge them to physical contests, emphasize competition, compliment them on feats of flatulence and gluttony, stress the importance of athletics over intelligence, etc.) but the one thing she said her boy would never do is "pee on a tree"-- because it seems my boys, if they are more than seven yards from a bathroom, find it completely appropriate to drop their pants and water whatever flora is available; this led to a debate about when to and who can pee on a tree, someone claimed that if you let your kids pee on trees once they are over the age of eleven, then you are a degenerate, but I pointed out that if you drive over to Metuchen Country Club and wander onto the golf course, then you'll find well-to-do men over the age of eleven peeing all over the trees.
If there were a tree next to a toilet, I would pee on the tree, and I would encourage it in all men--maybe one day when I have my own house I will build a bathroom with a tree in it just in case it's cold outside so I could only pee on trees--I could go on forever.
ReplyDeleteand if you're using the bathroom and it's not for peeing, well then you could make good use of the leaves on the tree as well. very green. and brown.
ReplyDeletecalvin has peed on many-a-patch of grass let alone trees (as you would expect from my offspring) -- however, he does sit to pee on the toilet. it's a turkish thing.
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