1) while I was running along the Raritan, I saw a blue heron acting in a deranged manner, listing from side to side and then finally collapsing into a heap, where it eyed my warily like some miniature feathered reptile-- and so when I got home I called several numbers until I reached Ranger Headquarters, and I told them the situation, and the next day the heron was gone, but I want to know what happened . . . I should have told the dispatcher to call me back once she had a full report of the incident so I could have some closure . . . can a heron get West Nile disease?
2) last night, our contractor went into the crawl space to retrieve some of his tools and he found a big fat raccoon in there, so he flushed him out, and after the raccoon went down the red and yellow plastic kiddie slide in our yard he climbed over the fence and into the neighbor's yard-- but not until one of the workers tossed a soccer ball at him.
A full report of the incident?!?! OK. The ranger hung up the phone and told their buddy that some jerk just called and wanted him to go out in the cold to find an alleged bird that might have West Nile somewhere in the woods. "I'll get right on that one!" Dope. There's your closure.
ReplyDeleteWhat he said. Comments like these ruin it for those of us that want to make fun of Dave, and while I think it is brilliant, I don't want to follow that.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm reading this wrong, but I can't believe the contractor that you're paying good money to do work on your house has time to go down the little slide in your yard and climb over the fence into the neighbor's yard. I'd toss a soccer ball at him, too.
ReplyDeleteuh oh, did i modify the wrong object? you run that risk when you write run-on sentences.
ReplyDelete