Awkward Moment of Connell

One of the nice things about the recurring Awkward Moments of Dave feature is that it encourages my friends and colleagues to confess their own humiliating moments to me: for example, my friend Connell donated this gem to the good of the cause, and he prefaced his story by saying he had just read this sentence, and I'm sure if he hadn't read it, then he wouldn't have been emboldened to tell me his horribly embarrassing moment . . . but here it is, for all of you to savor:  he was walking out of the grocery story with both hands full, and somehow he shifted lanes and unknowingly found himself walking out the "in" door, and as he walked towards the door a person on the other side triggered the electric-eye and the door flung open, and nailed him right in the face-- and, of course, because his hands were full, he was defenseless-- and had to take the full brunt of the door with his face, and then he stepped back, stunned, and looked around for the correct door and his eyes met those of a lowly cart-boy-- who resembled Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys-- and this lowly cart-boy was sitting on a bench, chewing on his tongue, but he paused in his chewing in order to point out the correct door to Connell, and then went back to his tongue-chewing.

15 comments:

rob said...

are we to just take dave at his word that he cared about canada, or should we as consumers demand some sort of proof?

Igor said...

Gonna need something more than an uptick in the counter. I need to know if he memorized the provinces and territories and their capitals, or if he just heard "Heart of Gold" in a bar and didn't whine about it.

zman said...

Does acting upon impure thoughts while looking at pictures of Pamela Anderson (from the 1990's, natch) constitute caring about Canada?

Lecky said...

Bubbles is from a great Canadian TV show

Lecky said...

Dave, don't waste your precious "dave" time on Canada in 2012. Here is everything you need to know - comedy from Canada - all great, especially sketch comedy. 99.99 % of Canadian music sucks (including Arcade Fire. King Kahn and BBQ is the only band I have ever liked from Canada and I've heard tons). When polled, Americans consider the British our best "friends" and allies globally, when polled Canadians consider America to be their #1 global compadre. To summarize, you should never think about them, they are easy to ignore and way too polite to ever say anything about it. Let's keep it that way.

Dave said...

first off, i learned what "poutine" is-- i'll explain in a later sentence.

second-- i like "arcade fire" and-- of course-- did not know they are from canada.

third-- me and my canadian friends are going to throw back-bacon at your house, or whatever canadians do for vengeance.

Dave said...

pamela anderson is canadian?

zman said...

King Khan and the BBQ Show kick ass. They must be seen live for full appreciation. The BBQ Show plays the drums and guitar at the same time.

Igor said...

How has Dave not yet mentioned The Kids in the Hall in his defense of liking Canadian stuff?

rob said...

that's pretty fucking egregious right there

rob said...

does liking bon iver's 'calgary' give dave any canada cred?

i think we can keep this up all year.

Igor said...

How about being super hot for Canadian-born Leslie Feist? I love me some Canada.

Ooh. And I also love Canada Dry ginger ale.

rob said...

feist is canadian? i may move to canada. 'course she's here now, so that'd be stupid.

Dave said...

bon iver is canadian? i love that dude!

i don't get credit for "kids in the hall" b/c that's so before this year. i should get credit for drinking like a canadian two nights in a row . . .

rob said...

bon iver, not canadian. calgary, however, is a city in canada.

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