Spandex: Pros and Cons

These are the pros of wearing spandex under your shorts during a run on the beach: 1) no chafing 2) when you're finished running, you can strip off your shorts and put them high and dry on the sand, iPod and condo keys safely tucked away in the pockets, and jump in the water wearing just the spandex . . . and then you can put your shorts back on for the walk home and enjoy the benefit of #1 . . . and there is only one con but it is a major one, if you happen to be an early riser and you are serenely walking down the beach, collecting shells or watching for porpoises, you might run into a hairy man coming out of the ocean, stuffed into a pair of slightly too small spandex shorts, like a sausage in it casing, and that hairy man would be me . . . sorry . . . but there's no way I'm risking chafing.

12 comments:

zman said...

I once spilled about 3,000 words into the ether describing Andre Agassi's meatheadedness. But he was right about one thing - compression shorts under tennis shorts are quite comfortable. Much more so than briefs or those shorts with the built-in underpants/liner like swimsuits have. I thought the spandex-under-the-shorts look receded away like Agassi's hairline, but it looks like we still have a stalwart supporter of the style.

d-train said...

why bother wearing the shorts and not just the spandex? what's the point?

zman said...

Spandex has no pockets so there's nowhere to put your tennis balls.

d-train said...

yeah - i get it on the tennis court, but if going for a run on beach...
i wonder if dave bought the vibrams

d-train said...

also meant to add - body glide works wonders for chafing...do not have to wear the tights if you've applied body glide...you can even have your wife do it for you.

Lecky said...

just disturbing. Aren't you with your family? You should walk into the beach house in your spandex shorts only and then photograph your father's facial expression for your other post.

Dave said...

can't you read? i put my shorts back on after emerging from the ocean like a hairy hormel little sizzler sausage.

i haven't bought the vibrams yet, although i've been running barefoot ont he beach-- the vibrams look so weird i can't bring myself to spend money on them.

will someone apply this body glide on the obft?

zman said...

I will only apply body glide to my own body, or to the body of my zwife.

You should run in just spandex and 5-Fingers and see how long you can make it until they arrest you and throw you in the nuthouse.

Lecky said...

can read, but the point is you can go Ed Wood in women's undergarments but wearing a Brooks Brothers on top does not make it right. Spandex = shorts above = same thing = gay. Simply to much splaining on why you wear them not to call it out

Igor said...

Dave liked "Mmmmbop" by Hanson, too. Unabashedly. Defied me to convince him otherwise.

And this sounds like I am kidding, but I am not, for once.

Dave said...

that's one catchy song. it still makes me smile when i think about it.

Lecky said...

mmmbop is a great song to rub anti chafe to

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