Funny When?
I watched "Trailer Park Boys" last night, after a long hiatus from them; they weren't as funny as I remembered-- but I'm going to keep at it-- maybe I'm not as funny as I remembered?
Anyone Can Draw and Amoeba
I've been creating some poorly drawn animation on my tablet: if anyone has any easy-to-draw plot ideas for my amoeba sitcom, send them my way.
Dave Does Coz
Went with Catherine to see Bill Cosby last night, with the MAN and the woman . . . and if it wasn't for the BEER . . . well, then you youngzzzsterrs . . . if you are . . . NEWLY married-- let ME tell YOU whatzzit, if the, and he HAD . . . no not that, I KNOW what he had . . . I was THERE-- he had a certain way of . . . it's the THING with the . . . smokezz, yebbit, therebit izza smokezzinby mouf . . . FIRE . . . yes, riiiiight . . . the THING about it is therezzz pages left OUT-- when the GOD and the EVE in the GARDEN . . . you hideth from Godeth?-- and Mr. Clean did a twenty minute routine about Viagra and his "johnson" and falling to the FLOOR and you stick there . . .
Winter Fun!
Like Father, Like Son
It was only Alex and me at the breakfast table this morning; he looked at me and said "We're both picking our noses!" and it was true, and then he burped and asked to be excused.
Amoeba Love
Today, instead of using my snow day wisely and doing my taxes while the children napped, I wrote a short love song about amoebas and animated it on my tablet laptop. . . my rationale: anyone can draw an amoeba.
Dave Controls the Weather
To celebrate the 100th Sentence of Dave I have arranged for a snow day; please show your appreciation by clicking on the ads.
Is This Normal?
Yesterday I consumed (in chronological order): two packs of oatmeal, an apple, a yogurt, five Munchkin Donuts, a cobb salad and jalapeno chips from Wawa, some coffee, chicken nachos, three beers, some chocolate, chicken sausage and peppers and pasta, and some more chocolate.
How Can You Remember If You Forgot?
I realized on Monday that I've been driving without my license since early December-- I needed to show my ID at the Philadelphia Zoo because I hadn't signed my credit card, but I couldn't find my license in my wallet-- but the funny thing is, I forgot that I didn't have my license by the end of the zoo visit, and so I drove home from Philly with no license and it wasn't until yesterday when Catherine reminded me that it was missing (she remembered at school and put her wedding ring on the opposite hand so she would remember to tell me to continue my search) and I found it in my little wallet, which I carry when I want to travel light, and the last time I used it was when we went to the city in December.
Acting! Is Very Silly . . .
I suffered through hours of Kate Blanchett pretending to be Queen Elizabeth because I wanted to see the Spanish Armada battle scene, and it turned out to be cheesy, but it serves me right for wanting Elizabeth to be a different kind of movie than it was (and I should have followed my own rule-- which is that I don't watch movies that are all about acting-- especially when someone is trying to act like a historical figure or a famous person because this film begins with doting 360-degree camera shots of the Queen in every possible setting and outfit).
2/18/2008
The warm weather made the animals extremely active at the zoo today-- polar bears wrestled underwater, penguins breached, the lions were actually roaring, a tiger cub tackled his mother, and the rattlesnakes and cobras slithered in their tanks (it was also the first time I've ever seen a Gila monster move)-- but my most exciting animal encounter occurred at this 6:30 this morning, while I was recording some music: I was wearing headphones, the house was quiet, and I was immersed in the sound of the drum machine and backing guitar, when a large black bug fell from the ceiling and landed on my pick-hand; it was either a spider or some kind of beetle, but I flung it off so quickly that I didn't identify it, and I'm very proud that I didn't shriek loudly enough to wake the house (completely unrelated: on the way home from the zoo we passed a nursery and their placard read Pot Sale . . . Not that Kind!)
2/17/2008
Yesterday, my two sons and I formed a short lived rock'n'roll band, and my son Alex came up with our name: The Junior States (he had a rationale for this but I missed it because Ian had just jammed Legos into the keyboard and it was making a lot of noise).
THAT'S Fresh
I listened to 8 Diagrams on my eight-mile run this morning, and the Wu-Tang is still "keeping it fresh like Tupperware."
This Sounds Stupid (And Maybe It Is)
I hate it when actors have to act: for example, Catherine and I were watching an entertaining thriller called Primal Fear and the part requires Edward Norton, the alleged killer, to stutter-- some idiot wrote that in the script as part of his "character"-- and it's torture, because instead of enjoying the movie and speculating about who really did it, I'm thinking about how weird it must be for Edward Norton to have to pretend to have a speech impediment.
2/14/2008
A few weeks ago, I challeneged Alex to rub his belly and pat his head at the same time, but he was unable to do it and never mentioned it again until last night, when, just before bed, he said, "Look what I can do" and then he did it-- soI guess he was practicing in secret until he felt the time was right . . .
2/13/2008
A bittersweet day: Alex conquered the sled hill by our house for the first time, but Ian was sick with a fever and had to stay inside.
2/10/2008
The new kitchen is always the topic around our house: yesterday's topic was why does a stone floor feel colder than a wood floor when either one is going to be the same temperature as the rest of the house-- and I found the answer on-line; it is because stone is more dense and thus a better conductor of heat or cold and since the floor will generally be cooler than 98.7, it's going to make you feel colder (which leads one to wonder how cold Viggo Mortensen was during the filming of the naked knife fight in Eastern Promises-- he spends a lot of time crawling around on a stone floor.)
No Context, No Reward
I learned two things last night: God is a giant ear, and a "hook-up" is when you smuggle prison food out of the dining hall and back to your room, where you then try to make it a serviceable meal with whatever other materials you have on hand (for example, you take noodle soup and pour it into a bag of crushed cheese puffs and then put it under your pillow for ten minutes-- it congeals into a jail-house "burrito").
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