Sentence of Dave

The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)

First Wrist Problems

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I like my new Nike Xmas hoodie-- it's a magnetic blue/green color and size XL, so it fits me around my burly chest and neck . . . the on...
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The Fork is Pitched

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To commemorate the end of the 28-year reign of Pitchfork as an intellectual, snarky tastemaking mega-God, I'm listening to some of the t...

Artificial Intelligence Invades High School English Class

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  In my new, very special episode of We Defy Augury . . .  which is based on my experiences teaching high school English in the age of AI ...

Sun, Why Have Ye Abandoned Us?

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The last week or so we've been living in a microcosmic version of Ray Bradbury's classic story "All Summer in a Day"-- and...
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Dave and His Wife are Both Ambulatory

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Because my wife started walking again yesterday, albeit slowly, I decided to chance it and see if my strained calf  would hold up playing so...
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My Wife Stands on Her Own Two Feet

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My wife got her stitches out yesterday from her Morton's neuroma foot surgery-- so she's in a medical boot-- but she's walking a...
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There Are Too Many Fucking Shows

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We signed up for a free Apple TV trial so we could watch Slow Horses  (and because my wife is stuck at home healing from foot surgery) and l...
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The Wit of the Parking Lot (l'esprit du parking)

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  Stacey and I were walking around during our free period today and when we took some stuff to my car, we noticed an egregiously parked car ...
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No Real Alternative

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The only alternative to fixing my van's alternator is to buy a new fucking car.
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Three Cold Incidents

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Three things happened today that were only interesting because it's winter: 1) my wife insists she heard people playing pickleball at th...

Acting! And Floating . . .

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The last episode of The Curse  is so epic it might be worth the whole ordeal of signing up for a free trial of Paramount + just to see it-- ...

My Dog Rocks

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For the first time in quite a while, Lola and I were able to take a snowy hike in the Rutgers Biological Preserve . . . and Lola is also wor...
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Put Your Money on Wild Honey

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I've never fully understood the venerated status of The Beach Boys  . . . I've tried to listen to The Smile Sessions  and all that b...

Magical Marker Mystery Tour

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A relatively fun book cover design Creative Writing lesson (inspired by this rather annoying TED Talk ) was nearly thwarted by a magic-marke...
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Snow and Ice (apologies to Robert Frost)

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My dog says that snow is fire,  she uses slang, that's her desire-- but she has no love for ice, salted, sharp, and slick . . . for dest...

Infinite Wellness

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My newest episode of We Defy Augury takes the most annoying book I read in 2023 and uses it as a lens to enhance the best book I read in 2...

Completely Curb Your Enthusiasm

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You may have been tough enough to handle the cringeworthy antics of Larry David on Curb , but can you withstand the exponentially uncomforta...
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Dave Cooks to Order

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Apparently, my wife likes her breakfast sausage slice in half longways  . . . so she has two thin circular sausages with which to put on her...
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Dave is Still Standing (unlike his wife)

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What a week . . . I had to make numerous parent phone calls to discuss AI issues in student work-- and this got in the way of my planning fo...
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Very Realistic Nightmare (Warning: Adult Content)

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This morning, my alarm woke me when I was in the middle of a very adult, very realistic nightmare: I walked down the steps into my basement,...
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